The Selfish Elf 
GoodGamery News – The Unexpected Malfegor Paradox
CAIRO, EGYPT — At the sentencing for Wall of Denial, who was found guilty of perjury, obstruction of justice, and just plain difficult to deal with, a Stern Judge told the condemned Wall of Denial that he will be killed by a Malfegor at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the killing will be a surprise to the Wall.
“You will not know the day of the killing until the Malfegor knocks down your cell door at noon that day and quickly shreds your flesh and devours you,” the judge told the Wall, who continues to deny any wrongdoing.
After the sentencing, the Wall of Denial made a statement concluding that he will escape from the killing.
“My reasoning is in several parts,” said the Wall, “First, I have concluded that if the killing were on Friday then it would not be a surprise, since I would know by Thursday night that I was to be killed the following day, as there would be only one day left in that week, so it cannot be on a Friday if it is to be a surprise.” He added “By the same reasoning, the killing cannot be on a Thursday as that would also not be a surprise, since I would know on Wednesday that there are only two days left in which I could be killed, and I already know I cannot be killed on Friday.” The Wall continued with this line of reasoning, eliminating Wednesday, Tuesday and finally Monday as possibilities.
When contacted by GoodGamery News, the Malfegor claimed that he was free to kill the Wall any day of the week, and that it would come as a surprise to the Wall. “Wall of Denial has concluded that he will escape the killing,” explained the Malfegor, “and therefore, it will come as a surprise to him no matter what day I choose to quickly shred his flesh and devour him.”
