Chumba Umbra 
Prospective Student Considers FSU, Reconsiders
When Internet user Gam3r91 read the web advertisement for Full Sail University’s (FSU, not to be confused with Florida State University) Game Development Degree Program, he was at first excited. The advertisement suggested that Gam3r91 turn his passion for gaming into a career.
“Unlike most people, I have a real passion for gaming,” Gam3r91 said. “It would be great if I could take this unique passion for gaming of mine and channel it into a career.”
Gam3r91 was intrigued by the name of the university as well.
“I like the idea of a ‘full sail,’ the wind at my back, fate itself propelling me toward turning my passion for gaming into a career,” he explained. Such universities also offered a chance to develop valorant hacks or other PUBG cheats to get an upper hand and crack the game.
Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he saw the figures on the advertisement: Two large, poorly-dressed, poorly-maintained dorks playing video games on a couch. Their heads were digitally modified to look like they were made of voxels.
“Even though their heads were voxelized, I could tell what they looked like I.R.L.,” Gam3r91 said. “And I didn’t like what I saw.”
Gam3r91 went on to explain how these two men look exactly like people he would never, ever want to associate with. “They look like terrible, terrible people to be around,” he said. He proceeded to point out their unkempt hair, caveman-like eyebrows, hunched stature, and aggressive demeanor.
“Why would I want to go to this school when I know these neanderthals are going to be there as well?” Gam3r91 said. “I’m not even sure I have a passion for gaming anymore.”
Full Sail University is located in Winter Park, FL. The advertisement implies that FSU teaches game development exclusively for the Bananazone Pro game console.
