To my Fellow Archivists

Posted on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 by Koron the Scribe
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Posted in best of, mtg

Koron the Scribe indexing a book. I’ve held my tongue this long because I didn’t want to jeopardize my position here at the Encyclopedia Dominaria, but I cannot look the other way any longer. Someone has to stand up and say what we’re all thinking: our editor is abusing his power to spread his bigotry. People count on our work for objective information; they rely on us to accurately report on how tough a cerodon is, and how much mana and of which types it takes to issue a cryptic command. That said, at first I welcomed the introduction of subjective “flavor” pieces in its entries. Our editor Vorlus promised they would be excerpts of poetry, local sayings, and pithy quotes that would humanize our otherwise-technical list of facts and figures.

But with each edition and supplement it becomes more clear that they are just an excuse for him to insert his anti-goblin bias into the work. It was ambiguous at first; when he called the Mercadian Guild “Home to the multiverse’s smartest goblins (and fastest quadriplegics)“ I took no notice. When he said of Toggo’s war club “Crude but ineffective, much like its owner,” I wrote it off as a harmless joke, or at worst an insult to one man. But after he said of the Zendikari tribes, “They’d lose track of their own mouths if their breath didn’t smell so foul,” I knew I could not let him continue.

My friends, we must collectively stand up against this policy. Not only because it is the right thing to do, but for the future of ourselves and our beloved publication. For if a goblin takes offense at these comments, we could be liable for a large settlement. Granted, the chances of a goblin reading anything are pretty low because… well… let’s just say that their language has over 70 words for illiteracy.

     — Koron the Scribe