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March 14, 2008 | nerd stuff, humor
Richard Dawkins Converts After "Mindblowing" Breakfast at Big Boy
by Ein
At an emotional press conference yesterday, noted (former) atheist and logic proponent Richard Dawkins proclaimed to have been converted while eating breakfast at a Madison Big Boy after his recent visit to The University of Wisconsin.
"I was sitting at the table, basking in the glow of last night's fabulous speech," he recounted, "when the waitress interrupted me. �So, whaddaya want?' she asked. I paused, as I did not yet know."
Richard then quickly backed away from the podium, tears streaming down his face as he attempted to reign in his emotions before continuing.
"She suggested I try the breakfast bar for only $6.95, and that this included a glass of the juice of my choice." He paused again, fighting back more tears. "I nodded and said I would take the buffet with pomegranate juice to drink. I walked over to peruse the selections and was shocked to see the panoply of choices, from something called grits to a truly magnificent fruit display."
Dawkins became unable to control himself at this point in the press conference. Apparently, according to Richard, the wide variety of choices for such a low price, "defied all logic" and "made me reconsider all that I stood for". When asked why a run-of-the-mill buffet mattered so much to him, he responded with a fiery, "How can it not? Do you ever look at the world and wonder why something is like it is? I've come to believe that there are things man was not meant to know, things we must take solely on faith. How this Big Boy can offer such amazing food for so little is something I'm not meant to know. I accept that and move on with my life. We should all be more conscious to not be deluded by the perils of the scientific method; it is just that, a method, not the only method, rather one among many."
Finally, Dr. Dawkins commented on where he would go from here. "I believe I have a duty to fight against those who would prevent freedom of worship; to fight against the proliferation of anti-faith thought."
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