You warp to Grixis and find Nicol Bolas just standing there, chilling out.

"Welcome to Grixis," Bolas says. "I have been expecting you."

You and Elspeth give each other skeptical looks.

"Okay fine, you are entirely unexpected," Bolas admits. "But not entirely unabletodealwith!"

With that, the dragon starts shooting firebolts at you with his index fingers. He's pretending his hands are pistols. "Pew pew pew!" he bellows menacingly.

You evade his firebolts! You're awesome!

But one of them strikes Elspeth. Bolas has exploited your one weakness... others.

You run to Elspeth's damaged body and hold her in your arms. She looks up at you for a quick monologue right before dying.

"Tell... tell my son..." she spurts out. You grow impatient. Get on with it! Thankfully Bolas has inexplicably stopped firing. "... that... I love...." she continues. Then she dies.

"Too bad she was unable to complete her sentence," you think to yourself. You drop her head to the floor and stand up.

"Now it's your turn, Bol-ass!" you shout.

"omg" Bolas replies.

He casts Fireblast. You Force of Will! He casts Banefire for infinity. You Gilded Light! He gets an infinite combo going with Reveillark and Body Double. You stop it in some fashion!

Nicol Bolas is visibly exhausted. He's running out of mana and will. "That's it," he grunts. "It's time for my ultimate spell!"

He Channel-Fireballs!

The Fireball is flying your way. You are 3 meters from death!

You tap some manas. You are 2 meters from death!

The dramatic music increases in volume and intensity. You are 1 meter from death!

"Mystic Snake!" you roar. The Fireball evaporates. A snake appears, crawls over to Nicol Bolas, and comedically bites him in the groin for 2. A void begins to appear at the point of injury, drawing in air and particulate matter.

This doesn't look good.

You escape Grixis in the nick of time -- Bolas's death destroys the entire shard with a disc-like shockwave which, when you think about it, doesn't really make much sense. I mean, he would probably just explode in all directions.

By the way, you're Urza! Whoa, twist city!

You bring Elspeth back to life and are in a relationship for a while, but she is very needy and you eventually and amiably break up.

You live out the rest of your days in peace and contentment -- until your next adventure, that is!

THE END



(Discuss this item in the forums!)