Good Gamery

Month: November 2008

  • You Too Can Help Spread the Word

    This month, Good Gamery net profits are down almost 6 million dollars. Advertisers such as Smiley Central, Cursor Mania, and Zwinky have pulled their banners from our site, cutting off a vital source of revenue. And that’s just the beginning — today we all discovered that the world is undergoing a massive credit crisis, and web sites featuring Magic: The Gathering humor are some of the most affected.

    There’s only one person who can help us out of this mess. You. That’s right — there’s a special JavaScript running on this page ensuring that only you can see this message. I’m talking to just you, buddy.

    “But what can I do?” another JavaScript program hears you ask by accessing your microphone hardware and listening to you as talk to yourself. Here’s how you can help:

    By spreading the word about Good Gamery.

    They don’t know it yet, but everyone needs to hear about Good Gamery. They need to read our articles, flip through our comics, post on our forums and chat their work days away. And you can give them the hook ups. Here’s how you do it:

    As you are about to conclude an MTG match with an opponent on MODO, MWS, Apprentice, or even IRL, throw out a “G.G.”

    Just a little “G.G.” It’ll pique their interest. “What’s G.G.?” they’ll ask. You’ll then explain that it stands for Good Gamery, the fastest growing Magic: The Gathering humor web site on the internet having both a forum community and an oft-updated front page.




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  • MagicTheGathering.com Decoder

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    Daily MTG

    News List – Columns List

    Event Coverage

    PTQ Honolulu Information

    “Decks of the Week” archive

    DCI ratings

    Spoiler of Standard-Legal Vanguard Avatars

    The Rules

  • Good Gamery News – November 2008

    Casual Player Sick of Playing Against Elves

    When asked about his Casual Extended Game message “No Elves, No Dragons; Only Discard, LD, Counters or other interesting decks pls”, Magic Online User darkraistlin13 was unrepentant.

    “I just find it stupid and pointless to play against the same deck over and over again” he said. “Don’t these players have any sense of fun or originality? I play Magic for fun, and getting killed on the second turn every game before I’ve had a chance to use my Cancels and Stone Rains isn’t fun. I mean, who finds playing with Elves and Dragons enjoyable anyway?”

    “It’s getting to the point where I will concede if my opponent plays a basic Forest on the first turn.”

    Secret Magic Online Programming Credits List Found

    As first reported by ModoSharks, the programming credits list is stored on every computer on which Magic Online is installed. For many, the contents of the list were mostly expected.

    “I’ve suspected for a while that a motherfucker, a shithead, and a sonofabitch have had a hand in programming v3,” noted online magician Aziridine said. “It’s no surprise to me that cannabis was involved either.”

    When asked if there were any surprises on the list, he responded affirmatively.

    “Surprises? Yeah, there were a few,” Aziridine said. “For instance, I would have bet like 5tix that there would be at least one retard credited in there. Most shocking to me was that something as wonderful as boobies could have had anything to do with writing this program.”

    “Planeswalker Deck” Tears Up States, Old-School Player Rolls Eyes

    News of a new “Planeswalker Deck” similar to the one piloted by Themistoklis Panagiotaras to victory at Missouri Champs has changed the way many are thinking about the standard metagame. At least one player, however, is unimpressed.

    Rick Dustington of Seattle, upon hearing news of this exciting new deck, visibly scoffed. “A what deck? Shit, in my day something like that wouldn’t have gotten past the second round. First of all no one played Plains. Sure, Islandwalkers were a good choice if they were efficient enough. But Plainswalkers? Sheesh.”

    “And even if someone was dumb enough to play Plains, they had tons of ways to deal with Plainswalkers” he continued. “Heck, they had Wrath of God, Swords to Plowshares, and if things got really hairy, Great Wall. Players these days must be really unresourceful to let something like that get the better of them.”




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  • MTGcom’s Daily Deck: ‘Nova Scotia Blue-White’

    MagicTheGathering.com today announced its daily deck, which happened to win Nova Scotia’s state championships.

    “I call it ‘Nova Scotia Blue-White,’” said the deck’s designer and Nova Scotian champion, Brett Ripley. “I told Wizards that they could alternately entitle it ‘Brett Ripley’s Blue-White Control.’”

    Two weeks ago, Mr. Ripley had noticed a U/W Reveillark deck on Star City Games Premium, designed by Benjamin Peebles-Mundy.

    “Sure I saw that Reveillark deck, but I assure you, Nova Scotia Blue-White is entirely different from that list in multiple different ways,” Mr. Ripley explained.

    “For one, it’s got Cryptic Commands. For another… well anyway, you get the idea.”

    “Nova Scotian pride,” concluded Mr. Ripley, thumping his chest before returning to the pages of Anne of Green Gables.




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  • How to Be an Awesome Magic the Gathering Player



    1. If you don’t have cards, find a way to get some. Unsuspecting players at Friday Night Magic events, for instance, might be too busy having fun with their friends between rounds to notice the dark stranger subtly slipping decks into a satchel by his side.

    2. Continually overvalue your cards and undervalue their cards when trading. They’ll eventually submit to a pity trade out of politeness. Profit.

    3. When you play in tournaments, wear an iPod. Obtain a girlfriend in order to bring her along to stand behind you and rub your shoulders.

    4. At high level tournaments, count to 60 in your head before making a decision on anything.

    5. Enjoy the degree to which your life improves as you continue to dump more and more time and money into Magic cards.



    1. If you make a mistake, intimidate the player into letting you take it back. If he does not, grumble at him under your breath for the rest of the match.

    2. Tap your lands and creatures at a slight 25 degree angle. This puts them into a “half-tapped” state that could go either way with the simple brush of a sleeve.

    3. Stack lands into perfect piles so that your opponent doesn’t know how many lands you have. If he complains, stare at him as you loudly read off slam each card in the pile onto the table. Then restack.

    4. Join MTGSalvation.com and visit the competitive subforums for sound advice from skilled players.

    5. While posting on MTGSalvation, change fonts in the middle of curse words to avoid the profanity filter. This tip also applies to the obscenity filter and vulgarity filter.



    1. Magic players are like that one girl you have a crush on: They only want to hang out with giant assholes. Becoming a giant asshole might make the friends you have that are worthless and pathetic like you less.

    2. Obtaining a girlfriend might hurt the amount of time you spend on MODO. Make sure to let her know early on that you do not intend to make her feel desired above computer games. Being out and open with your selfishness gives her no excuse to complain.



    1. Magic cards

    2. An iPod

    3. A girlfriend to exploit and ignore

    4. An internet connection (56k or higher recommended)

    5. A terrible attitude




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