Let’s Talk About Wizard Fashion 
Lack of Bannings Upsets Villain
The DCI Banned and Restricted List announcement was released today. To the relief of many Magic players, particularly fans of Standard Faeries and Extended Elves, there were no changes. But to one man, Monsieur Le Chiffre, it was the worst news imaginable.
“I was counting on Bitterblossom getting banned, and at the very least Glimpse of Nature,” said Le Chiffre, known as Magic card banker to terrorist organizations. Whenever terrorists would need some cards to complete a deck, Le Chiffre’s contacts would hook them up in time for upcoming Pro Tours and Grand Prixs all around the world. Le Chiffre had promised his clients that there would be no risk, but the reality was quite the opposite.
Only days ago, Le Chiffre’s bedroom in the basement of his mother’s house was littered with tall stacks of Blossoms and Glimpses on loan from clients. But he sold them all on eBay expecting them to be banned and to rebuy them at a discount. Now they may jump even higher in price. “It’s just not fair!” Le Chiffre wailed as he dabbed his scarred eye with a hankerchief, his face all scrunched up like an upset baby.
Le Chiffre has reason to be upset. He had paid off Carlos Adrone, one of the Grand Wizards of the Wizards of the Coast High Council, to ensure the desired bannings. Mere hours before the final decision, Adrone was assassinated by British secret service agent Mark Rosewater.