Lord of Jund to Nationalize Dragons 
Get Rid of Auras Easy and Cheap
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Did your son start wearing flower rings and hang around with mice and deers overnight? Did your daughter suddenly develop an ability to fly and breath fire? During the wrong time of the month, we mean. Do you happen to find yourself frozen in a block of ice? If any of these conditions sound familiar to you, you or your relatives might be enchanted with AURAS.
Auras are special kinds of enchantments that become attached to people and cause potentially hazardous effects. However, auras can be treated. I’m Miracle Worker and with my one-step program, you and your family can be safe from auras again. But don’t believe me, believe my satisfied costumers:
“I used to be enchanted with an aura that made me feel like I was being stalked by an elephant at all times. It was really disturbing. But thankfully, Miracle Worker solved my problem. Thank you, Miracle Worker!”
“Oh yes, Miracle Worker has helped me greatly. I used to be like, completely covered with tattoos. They didn’t itch or hurt or anything, but can you imagine being covered with tattoos at all times? Miracle Worker saved my life. Thank you, Miracle Worker!”
“I was diagnosed with terminal parallax dementia. Miracle Worker said there was nothing he could do. He told me I only had one turn to live and that I should — What is this? What are you doing? I told you to interview the HEALTHY patients! Turn that thing off, shut that —“
“I remember I once found and put on an armadillo cloak, but then I couldn’t get it off! The wooden zipper was really tricky, you see. But Miracle Worker unzipped it like it was nothing. Miracle Worker, you’re the best!”So call right now and get rid of your aura problems permanently. Guaranteed satisfaction, or your money back! (Miracle Worker does not guarantee satisfaction. Only a small percentage of auras are harmful to their wearers. For doubts or permanency of symptoms consult your medic or town healer.)
