The Selfish Elf 
Kid at StarCityGames casts Earthquake for 6, causes havoc in Manhattan
Richmond, VA (AP) Ben Bleiweiss, a 33-year old kid at heart, cast Earthquake for 6, setting off seismic activity that rocked the entire eastern seaboard of North America between 2:00 and 2:15 pm on Tuesday, USGS authorities said.
“We were just playing a group EDH game in the lounge of our sales department at the Richmond office when suddenly the room started rocking,” said Bleiweiss, visibly shaken.
“I don’t think that was the cause. I’m guessing it was Misterorange’s [Evan Erwin] Hive Mind,” said The Ferrett, who was still standing out in the parking lot with dozens of other editorial staff. “Granted, playing ‘quake on top of that wasn’t really well thought out,” he added.
“Could have been the Terastodon I had played the turn earlier,” mused Mike Flores. Bleiweiss shook his head.
The tremor caused a minor emergency alert at the Pentagon, and briefly stalled trading on Wall Street. It was also reported as far north as Toronto and New Brunswick, where it unleashed a tsunami of staid Canadian apathy.
President Obama, on holiday at Cape Cod, noticed the tremor and said “Eight people at the head of the largest online card trading store in North America, and nobody is packing a Stifle. Dayum, son.”
