Good Gamery

Author: basilisk

  • Jaceless Butcher

    Jaceless Butcher is a beloved card for enabling the “triple butcher” trick, which is where you live in a town with 3 butchers, but can’t find a baker or a candlestick maker within walking distance. That’s why we decided to include this card in From the Vault: Jace.

    And now a word from world-famous magical card slinger, Jarvis Yu:

    “When Good Gamery gave me this card to preview, I was honored, as is the tradition in my culture.” – Jarvis Yu

    We also like this card because it tells a story. It’s the story of a hideous monster with misshapen arms and no face who thinks a powerful wizard is his friend, when the wizard is not.

  • Announcing: Jace Week

    It’s Jace Week here at Good Gamery. In celebration of the new collector’s set, titled “From the Vault: Jace”, we will be giving you sneak previews of cards every day.

    Sometimes we will show you these new Jace cards one at a time, and sometimes it will be two at a time. Today we will start with two of our favorites from Good Gamery R&D.

    About Jace

    About Jace has showed that even one copy of a sufficiently powerful loyalty-increasing card can warp formats when combined with powerful card-drawing Planeswalkers. Multicolored joke decks were among the best decks in Standard and Extended for a long time. One of the reasons they were so strong is that if an aggressive creature deck got ahead of them, all they had to do to catch up was find their single About Jace with one of their myriad card filtering effects. This meant that any creature deck had a massively uphill battle to fight against this tireless champion of an instant, and this had an oppressive effect on the format. Good players simply played joke decks rather than expose themselves to getting About Jaced out of games.

    Battlejace Angel

    Battlejace Angel is a tribal creature card designed with hammer of “Tribal Matters” striking against the anvil of “Creatures”. It’s a big creature, and the best creature, which hardly seems fair to me. We like the card anyhow, because we like sending big Wizards into the red zone. (This card is a Wizard.)

    Battlejace Angel has been printed for the first time as a Wizard Angel. Here it is with new art, which is also a new thing we added to this card. It also features new collector’s numbers and a never-before-seen copyright date.

    We’ll tell you more about this exciting new collection at the end of Jace Week, but until then, enjoy the sneak previews every day this week, only at Good Gamery!

  • Lotto Cobra

  • Marital Coup

    Marital Coup

  • Fall 2010 preview: Pirates and Wenches and Rum

    We here at goodgamery.com have done it again! Our crack agents* have infiltrated R&D and have come back with notes from 2010’s fall expansion. The block is code named rape/burn/pillage and its theme is pirates, proving once and for all that Wizards is out of good ideas.

    Extensive focus group polling** has shown that players cannot get enough of islands, so this set will have an “islands matter” theme. We are moist with anticipation. ***

    Important rules changes for rape block:

    • “Battlefield” renamed to “Spanish Main.”
    • “Destroy x” retemplated to “Make x walk the plank.”
    • “Graveyard” renamed to “Davy Jones’ Locker.”
    • Players do not have libraries because pirates cannot read.

    Ready to dive in?

    White

    James Goodhead, Pirate Hunter – 2WW
    Legendary Creature – Human Hunter Fop (Mythic)
    First Strike
    Whenever a pirate enters the Spanish Main or attacks, exile James. Return him to the Spanish Main at the beginning of the next end step.
    3/3

    Goodhead’s Love Interest – WW
    Legendary Creature – Human Harlot (Mythic)
    At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control both James Goodhead, Pirate Hunter and Goodhead’s Love Interest, and no pirates are on the Spanish Main, you win the game.
    All creatures have: “T: Gain control of Goodhead’s Love Interest.”
    0/1

    Path to Davy Jones’ Locker – W
    Instant (Uncommon)
    Make target creature walk the plank. Its controller searches his or her library for an island card and puts that card into play tapped. (Libraries don’t exist.)

    Catholic Schoolgirl – 1W
    Creature – Human (Common)
    Sacrifice a rum: Catholic schoolgirl is a harlot in addition to her other creature types until the beginning of the end step.
    2/2

    Blue

    Stingray – U
    Creature – Fish Assassin (Common)
    Islandhome
    T: Bury target hunter at sea.
    Too soon?
    1/1

    Moby Dick – 6UUU
    Legendary Creature – Fish Cetacean (Mythic)
    Islandhome, Protection from Ships.
    Power and toughness are unknown. (Nobody has ever gotten to the end of Moby Dick.)
    */*

    Blue Balls – 1U
    Enchantment – Aura (Common)
    Enchant Creature
    Enchanted creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap phase.
    Tap a Harlot you control: Make Blue Balls walk the plank. Any player may play this ability.

    Black

    Smooth Criminal – BB
    Creature – Human Pirate Rogue (Common)
    Fear
    Smooth criminal wishes he were white.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent cannot prove they are over 18, put a +1/+1 counter on Smooth Criminal. (A valid state driver’s license is acceptable proof.)
    Defnitely too soon.

    2/1

    Blackbeard, Goodhead’s Nemesis – 3BB
    Legendary Creature – Human Pirate
    At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player makes target non-pirate creature they control of their choice walk the plank.
    If a Hunter or Harlot walks the plank in this way, put a +1/+1 counter on Blackbeard.
    “I know what you’re thinking and yes, the carpet does match the curtains.”
    3/3

    Bukkake, Whore’s Wage – B
    Enchantment – Aura (Uncommon)
    Enchant Harlot
    At the beginning of your upkeep, put a -1/-1 counter on enchanted harlot for each other creature in play. It becomes white until the beginning of the end step.

    Unkill – B
    Sorcery (common)
    Return target creature from your Davy Jones’ Locker to your hand.
    After the first time his spell was renamed, the necromancer was merely demoralized, but after the second time he said unkill.

    Red

    Pirate Pillager – 4RR

    Creature – Human Pirate

    1RR, T: Make target artifact or land walk the plank. Masticores that walk the plank this way cannot be regenerated.

    4/4

    The Beast – 4RR
    Legendary Creature – Demon (Rare)
    Whenever a Harlot you control becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, that opponent sacrifices seven creatures.
    “Avenged.”
    4/4

    Persuasive Recruiter – 2RR
    Creature – Human Pirate Harlot (Uncommon)
    Whenever a creature enter the Spanish Main under your control, that creature becomes a pirate in addition to its other creature types and target opponent sacrifices a permanent unless they pay 2.
    “Join us and all this booty could be yours!”
    2/2

    Fusillade Cannonnade – 3R
    Sorcery (Rare)
    Until the beginning of the end step, permanents you control gain “T: This permanent deals 2 damage to target creature or player and 3 damage to you. Draw a Card.”

    Green

    Thai Hooker – 1G
    Creature – Human Harlot (Common)
    When Thai Hooker enters the Spanish Main, flip a coin. If you win the flip, draw a card. If you lose the flip, put an indestructible green Herp token into play that has “At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.”
    2/2

    Pegleg Privateer – 2G
    Creature – Human Pirate (Common)
    Pegleg Privateer enters the Spanish Main with 2 leg counters.
    If pegleg privateer would be dealt damage, prevent that damage and remove a leg counter from it.
    When pegleg privateer has no leg counters, sacrifice it.
    3/2

    South Pacific Bachelor Party – 2GGG
    Sorcery (Rare)
    For each harlot you control, each opponent puts one indestructible green Herp token into play that has “At the beginning of your upkeep, you lose 1 life.”

    Trojan Man (TM) – 2GG
    Legendary Creature – Human Superhero (Rare)
    Protection from Harlots.
    4/3

    Artifact

    Captain Morgan Black – 1
    Artifact – Rum (Uncommon)
    T: Target creature thinks it can fly until the beginning of the ends step. Come next turn, that creature will never want to drink Captain Morgan Black ever, EVER again.

    Roofie Delight – 2
    Artifact – Rum (Uncommon)
    T: Target creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step.

    Yo Ho Ho and This – 4
    Artifact – Rum (Rare)
    At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 Pirate creature token onto the Spanish Main.
    If you control 15 pirates and your Davy Jones’ Locker contains a pirate, you win the game.

    USS Constitution – 6
    Creature – Ship (Rare)
    Islandhome, Indestructible
    3/3

    RMS Titanic – 8
    Creature – Ship (Mythic)
    Islandhome, Not Indestructible
    Probably not too soon.
    9/9

    Land

    The Lost Island
    Legendary Land – Island (Rare)
    Phasing
    At the beginning of the end step, a random player gains an extra turn after this one.
    “Ben decides that the island is no longer secret enough and turns a big underground dial that moves the island, teleports him to the Sahara desert and back in time three years, and screws up time on the island.” -skamunisM

    The Best Little Whorehouse
    in the South Pacific

    Tribal Land – Harlot Island (Common)

    Australia
    Legendary Land – Island (Mythic)
    You receive an additional 2 armies per turn.

    Join us next time when we spoil 2011’s expansion, “drinking/dancing/sodomy.” That third set is a doozy!

    * And by that we mean agents that are addicted to crack.
    ** Focus group membership: LSV and Wafo-Tapa.
    *** Like your mother was last night.

  • Tournament Report: Spirit Mountain Vintage Open – *Winner*

    Last month, a local Indian school held a Vintage tournament with an interesting twist. They decided to take advantage of their status on the reservation and allow Ante cards, since gambling is perfectly legal there. I brewed up the following list:

    [deck title=Gamblin Drains]
    [Spells]
    3 Timmerian Fiends
    4 Bronze Tablet
    2 March of the Machines
    4 Dance of Many
    2 Rite of Replication
    2 Pernicious Deed
    4 Boomerang
    4 Mana Drain
    4 Contract From Below
    4 Dark Ritual
    1 Ancestral Recall
    1 Time Walk
    1 Timetwister
    1 Time Spiral
    1 Tinker
    1 Demonic Tutor
    1 Gifts Ungiven
    1 Brainstorm
    1 Mycosynth Lattice
    [/Spells]

    [Mana]
    1 Black Lotus
    1 Mox Sapphire
    1 Mox Jet
    1 Mox Emerald
    4 Underground Sea
    1 Tropical Island
    4 Flooded Strand
    4 Polluted Delta
    4 Island
    3 Swamp
    [/Mana]

    [Sideboard]
    4 Smallpox
    4 Blanket Of Night
    4 Massacre
    3 Bottle Gnomes
    [/Sideboard]
    [/deck]

    It’s a typical Mana Drain control shell, but with an Ante package added in. The suite of Fiends and [card]Bronze Tablet[/card] combine with [card]Dance of Many[/card] (animating Tablet via [card]March of the Machines[/card]) to break the symmetry, allowing you to exchange a token copy instead of the original. [card]Timetwister[/card] effects allow you to reuse the combo, eventually exchanging tokens for every card in their deck, assuming they don’t scoop before then. I used glass beads for tokens, but really, you can use anything.

    Round 1

    Facing a total scrub playing affinity. I get Dance of Many going on Timmerian Fiends, and I can basically take his deck at will. Amazingly he plays it out, and finishes game 2 with 14 cards left in his library. Good luck next round, champ.

    Round 2

    Dude playing a Parfait variant. [card]Land Tax[/card] presented a bit of a problem, until I could steal it with Tablet and Tax the living shit out of him. Notable sideboard included [card]Peace Talks[/card], which held off some activations of Tablet. It wasn’t hard to wait out the Peace Talks, and then ambush him for everything. So long, chief.

    Round 3

    Zoo. Dropped game 1 to a fast start, but I brought in [card]Massacre[/card], and really, what can you do when your whole race gets Massacred? Nothing, that’s what!

    Round 4

    Mana Drain mirror. I came prepared with Smallpox+Blankets out of the sideboard, and he can never build up his manabase enough to gain control. Nice try, kemosabe. Have a handful of glass beads, and I’ll enjoy keeping your lands.

    Round 5

    Dredge. I’ve never seen anyone splashing red for [card]Gamble[/card] before. He must reeeeeaaaallly like Gambling. Anyway, Dredge doesn’t have much in the way of permanents anyway, and I make short work of him.

    5-0, and in the top 8!

    Round 6

    Oath. I don’t play a creature until I can simply steal his Oath, and that is. Nice Oath, dude. Here’s a hint: any deck based on keeping a promise probably isn’t going to get you far.

    Round 7

    I don’t even know what he was playing, because he scooped as soon as he saw me. Funny, cause he had a date with some Bottle Gnomes.

    Finals

    It’s the Zoo guy from round 3! His deck is pretty sparse at this point, and he doesn’t put up much of a struggle. Matter of fact I think he will fight no more forever.

    So that’s that, and I take home a couple boxes for my trouble. More importantly, I stuff my trade binder with a couple hundred Vintage cards that I scalped from my opponents along the way. (The one scrub from round 1 asked if I’d do trade-backs. I said yes, but as if!)

    In the unlikely event that you find yourself with the opportunity to play in this sort of tournament, I highly recommend the deck. It’s good enough that I found myself banned from the tourney venue. I can only assume it was due to the overwhelming performance of the deck.

  • Dominion Comix #16

    Crime doesn’t pay.

    Mouse over the image or click here to view the comic in full size.

    Good, I didn’t want that copper anyhow. They only accept Rupees at the corner store.

    Here is the card in question:

  • Dominion Comix #15

    Ghost Ship is a card that makes your opponents re-live their most terrible hands, over and over again.

    There are some ways to work around it, though.

    Mouse over the image or click here to view it in full.

    Here are the cards in question:

  • PTQ San Diego Tournament Report

    10/17/2009 – PTQ for San Diego in Rockville, MD

    First, let’s start off with the sealed pool I received.

    [deck title=Sealed Pool by llarack]
    [Lands]
    1 Misty Rainforest
    1 Graypelt Refuge
    1 Teetering Peaks
    1 Turntimber Grove
    1 Crypt of Agadeem
    1 Magosi, the Waterveil
    [/Lands]

    [Artifacts]
    1 Grappling Hook
    1 Carnage Altar
    1 Spidersilk Net
    [/Artifacts]

    [Black]
    1 Grim Discovery
    1 Hagra Diabolist
    1 Crypt Ripper
    1 Desecrated Earth
    1 Mindless Null
    2 Mire Blight
    1 Ravenous Trap
    1 Bog Tatters
    2 Hideous End
    1 Heartstabber Mosquito
    1 Gatekeeper of Malakir
    1 Vampire Nighthawk
    1 Quest for the Gravelord
    1 Marsh Casualties
    1 Vampire Hexmage
    1 Ob Nixilis, the Fallen
    [/Black]

    [Blue]
    1 Trapfinder’s Trick
    2 Caller of Gales
    2 Ior Ruin Expedition
    1 Shoal Serpent
    1 Merfolk Seastalkers
    2 Windrider Eel
    2 Whiplash Trap
    2 Cancel
    1 Into the Roil
    1 Umara Raptor
    1 Reckless Scholar
    1 Welkin Tern
    1 Gomazoa
    [/Blue]

    [Red]
    2 Bladetusk Boar
    2 Geyser Glider
    1 Demolish
    1 Goblin War Paint
    2 Shatterskull Giant
    2 Slaughter Cry
    1 Hellfire Mongrel
    1 Magma Rift
    1 Mark of Mutiny
    1 Punishing Fire
    1 QUest for Pure Flame
    1 Spire Barrage
    1 Tuktuk Grunts
    1 Zektar Shrine Expedition
    [/Red]

    [White]
    1 Luminarch Ascension
    1 Journey to Nowhere
    2 Sunspring Expedition
    1 Shieldmate’s Blessing
    1 Noble Vestige
    1 Narrow Escape
    2 Kor Skyfisher
    1 Kor Cartographer
    1 Caravan Hurda
    [/White]

    [Green]
    1 Vastwood Gorger
    1 Grazing Gladehart
    1 Predatory Urge
    1 Savage Silhouette
    2 Scythe Tiger
    3 Joraga Bard
    1 Frontier Guide
    [/Green]
    [/deck]

    A few lines borrowed from the Chat Dump while you think about how to build this pool:

    13:54    iConn   how does your sweet pearl trident deck beat
                 a pyroclasm
13:54    Seeker_ counterspell
13:55   Seeker_ memory lapse
13:55   Seeker_ ...mana leak?
13:55  Seeker_ force spike!
13:55   iConn   also
13:55   iConn   more importantly
13:55   iConn   how do you cast coral merfolk with a straight face

[19:09] [wcb] or encyclopedia brown
[19:09] [wcb]
[19:09] [RHat] encyclopedia brown was fucken badass
[19:36] [prolep] hey rhat
[19:36] [prolep] and whoever else is around
[19:36] [prolep] [RHat] [19:09]  encyclopedia brown was
                 fucken badass
[19:36] [prolep] I have concrete proof of this fact
[19:37] [theStu]  present it
[19:37] [RHat] i am around
[19:37] [prolep] what is encyclopedia brown's first name
[19:37] [RHat] i forget
[19:37] [prolep] you are allowed to wiki it
[19:37] [RHat] leroy!
[19:37] [prolep] BADDEST MAN IN THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN

[crickets]

[19:38] [prolep] god
[19:38] [prolep] i just realized you guys might too young

[Peebles1] man selling all these pokemon cards is going
           to be ANNOYING

mary: i wrote a song
reuben: what is it
mary: it's called the people you work with
      are stupid douchebags
reuben:
reuben: how does it go?
mary: "the people you work with are stupid douchebags.
       the people you work with are stuuuuuupid douuuuuuuchebags"

    A quick analysis shows that the correct build of this pool is probably blue and black, since they have removal, bombs and evasion.

    The first runthrough gives the following cards for a deck:

    [deck title=The Rise of the Seastalkers]
    [Blue]
    1 Gomazoa
    1 Welkin Tern
    1 Reckless Scholar
    1 Umara Raptor
    1 Into the Roil
    2 Whiplash Trap
    2 Windrider Eel
    1 Merfolk Seastalkers
    [/Blue]

    [Black]
    2 Hideous End
    1 Heartstabber Mosquito
    1 Gatekeeper of Malakir
    1 Vampire Nighthawk
    1 Quest for the Gravelord
    1 Marsh Casualties
    1 Vampire Hexmage
    1 Ob Nixilis, the Fallen
    [/Black]
    [/deck]

    I would prefer to play 18 lands in this type of deck (with [card]Ob Nixilis, the Fallen[/card], double [card]Whiplash Trap[/card], [card]Merfolk Seastalkers[/card] and double [card]Windrider Eel[/card], getting flooded isn’t a huge issue).

    I filled out the last three slots with [card]Ior Ruin Expedition[/card], [card]Shoal Serpent[/card] and [card]Bog Tatters[/card].

    My reasoning on the Serpent was that I wanted a big fat wall to block while attacking with evasion guys, or building up Ob, Nixilis to lethal them.

    Tatters seemed better than the alternatives ([card]Crypt Ripper[/card] and [card]Hagra Diabolist[/card]) since it will usually have evasion vs the best sealed decks (which tend to be black).

    Ior Ruin Expedition was extremely sketchy, and probably should have been [card]Cancel[/card] in the maindeck.

    As for the swiss rounds:

    I went 6-1-1 (loss in round 4, drew in round 8). I believe it is correct to draw in this sealed format. The games themselves weren’t very interesting, since they all played out in the same sort of way: I would stabilize the board with my removal / bounce and kill them with a evasive guy or Ob Nixilis.

    So I’ll fast forward to the deck I drafted in the top 8.

    [deck title=Seastalker Delight]
    [A Splash of Red]
    1 Punishing Fire
    [/A Splash of Red]

    [Garnish with Green]
    1 Lotus Cobra
    2 Vastwood Gorger
    2 Greenweaver Druid
    2 Nissa’s Chosen
    1 Baloth Cage Trap
    1 Grazing Gladehart
    1 Frontier Guide
    1 Oran-Rief Recluse
    [/Garnish with Green]

    [Merfolk Cordon Bleu]
    1 Aether Figment
    1 Reckless Scholar
    1 Merfolk Seastalkers
    1 Umara Raptor
    1 Welkin Tern
    1 Gomazoa
    1 Living Tsunami
    2 Sky Ruin Drake
    2 Whiplash Trap
    [/Merfolk Cordon Bleu]

    [Mana Providers]
    7 Island
    8 Forest
    1 Kazandu Refuge
    1 Soaring Seacliff
    [/Mana Providers]

    [Relevant Side-Dishes]
    1 Spell Pierce
    1 Hedron Crab
    1 Lethargy Trap
    [/Relevant Side-Dishes]
    [/deck]

    Round 1, I played vs the only other UG drafter at the table. Game 1, I set up a board state where Seastalkers locks down his guys and lethal him over the span of 2 turns. For the record, I almost died to quadrupule Scholar targetting me, but the Seastalkers let me kill him before this happened.

    I board out Gomazoa and Gladeheart for Hedron Crab and 1 Mountain (since he had mold shamblered my only red source in game 1).

    Game 2, his deck did nothing, and I took over quite easily.

    Round 2, I played vs RW with bombs (such as Hellkite Charger and Felidar Sovereign). Game 1, he gets manascrewed and double Whiplash Trap + fatties finish him off.

    I board in 1 Lethargy Trap for Frontier Guide, because his deck seemed to be a bunch of small guys + Teteering Peaks.

    Game 2, I get him to 3 life, but his Sovereign arrives to stabilize him completely because I had already spent both Traps trying to kill him. Game 3, he smashes me easily with Hellkite Charger.

    I am only slightly upset, because his deck was pretty good, and my deck didn’t have many ways to beat his.

    However, I am more upset that he conceded to the other guy in the finals after losing game 1.

    I will probably not be PTQing again this season, but here are a few notes:

    I believe the best sealed decks are B/x, and that you should draw.

    18 lands is correct for most of the sealed decks, but I can see a case for 19 if you have a TON of landfall guys.

    This is a much more sane draft format than the previous two, so I recommend sticking to two colors with possibly a splash in draft.

    Good luck in your sealed and drafts in the land of Zendikards! (couldn’t resist it).

    –llarack

  • Dominion: Seaside Spoiler

    Dominion: Seaside is the latest set released for Donald X. Vaccarino’s award-winning card game, Dominion.

    After you look at the cards, you should also check out this preview article about Dominion: Seaside.

    Hover your mouse over the cards to see their full size.