Good Gamery

Category: mtg

  • GoodGamery News – The Unexpected Malfegor Paradox

    CAIRO, EGYPT — At the sentencing for Wall of Denial, who was found guilty of perjury, obstruction of justice, and just plain difficult to deal with, a Stern Judge told the condemned Wall of Denial that he will be killed by a Malfegor at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the killing will be a surprise to the Wall.

    “You will not know the day of the killing until the Malfegor knocks down your cell door at noon that day and quickly shreds your flesh and devours you,” the judge told the Wall, who continues to deny any wrongdoing.

    After the sentencing, the Wall of Denial made a statement concluding that he will escape from the killing.

    “My reasoning is in several parts,” said the Wall, “First, I have concluded that if the killing were on Friday then it would not be a surprise, since I would know by Thursday night that I was to be killed the following day, as there would be only one day left in that week, so it cannot be on a Friday if it is to be a surprise.” He added “By the same reasoning, the killing cannot be on a Thursday as that would also not be a surprise, since I would know on Wednesday that there are only two days left in which I could be killed, and I already know I cannot be killed on Friday.” The Wall continued with this line of reasoning, eliminating Wednesday, Tuesday and finally Monday as possibilities.

    When contacted by GoodGamery News, the Malfegor claimed that he was free to kill the Wall any day of the week, and that it would come as a surprise to the Wall. “Wall of Denial has concluded that he will escape the killing,” explained the Malfegor, “and therefore, it will come as a surprise to him no matter what day I choose to quickly shred his flesh and devour him.”

  • Choose Your Own Alara

    You wake up in an iron-barred cell. Sunlight streams through an opening in the ceiling and through the slits in the wall. The floor is so clean you could eat off of it. You hear a distant angelic choir singing in the distance. You hate choir music.

    “Well, I’m still in Bant,” you think to yourself. “And I’ve been Bant.”

    You try to remember the last thing you can remember. You were on your way to visit your prick cousin Rafiq in Eos in order to borrow some sigils to pay your rent back in Jhess. Along the way, as you passed through the Mosaa Marketplace, you noticed a suspicious looking fellow quietly conferring with a towering dragon from which emanated malevolence and power beyond all reckoning. They were clearly up to something suspicious.

    That’s when the dragon met your gaze. The next thing you knew, you felt your mind being pulled through space, time and death, through hellish voids and uncomfortably crowd parties, pulled to a distant land known as Grixis. The name of the place echoed in your brain. You knew this was an evil place, otherwise it would be named Shalasha or something. It stank of non-Bantery, writhed with the withered wizardry of wilted wills, gave you a headache.

    But nothing compared to the headache you have now.

    What do you do?

    – Yell to the guard for a some ibuprofenmancy.

    – Try to climb out of the skylight.

  • Hypergenesis Combo in Classic

    When Alara Reborn spoilers were starting to hit the internet, the first Cascade spells appeared to show both restraint and caution from R&D, as most of the spells besides the obviously awesome [card]Bloodbraid Elf[/card] had marginal effects. Free Spell mechanics, however, have a legacy not only of being broken, but of being unexpectedly broken, so there was still a lot of hope that Cascade would live up to its forbearers.

    One of the early contenders was a deck concept I first saw on the Starcity Games forums as an idea for Extended. The deck played as many of the 3cc Cascade spells as it feasibly could and had no cheaper spells than the chaff rare [card]Hypergenesis[/card], which you could conveniently play for free after the Time Spiral rules update. Being able to cast [card]Hypergenesis[/card] on turn 3, or even turn 2 off of a [card]Simian Spirit Guide[/card] could let you drop any number of broken things into play. The downside, of course, is that you are necessarily limited in the disruption cards combo decks usually need to be viable. Against a field of [card]Spellstutter Sprite[/card]s, [card]Toils of Night and Day[/card] won’t get you there.

    With that in mind, I wondered if the combo would be viable in MODO Classic (a format similar to Legacy). You would have to deal with [card]Force of Will[/card] and [card]Counterbalance[/card], but you gain your own forces as well as [card]Elvish Spirit Guide[/card] for the potentially t1 kill.

    I am currently testing with the following list.

    [deck][The Fat]4 Hellkite Overlord
    4 Progenitus
    4 Inkwell Leviathan
    2 Bogardan Hellkite[/The Fat]

    [Mana Creatures]4 Elvish Spirit Guide
    4 Simian Spirit Guide[/Mana Creatures]

    [The Combo]4 Ardent Plea
    4 Violent Outburst
    3 Hypergenesis[/The Combo]

    [The Support]4 Serum Powder
    4 Force of Will
    4 Gush[/The Support]

    [Lands]4 Flooded Strand
    4 Wooded Foothills
    2 Breeding Pool
    2 Steam Vents
    1 Taiga
    1 Tundra
    1 Gemstone Caverns[/Lands]

    [Sideboard]
    4 Commandeer
    4 Krosan Grip
    4 Pyrokinesis
    3 Eureka[/Sideboard][/deck]

    A walkthrough of the elements of the deck, starting with the combo:


    4 [card]Ardent Plea[/card]

    4 [card]Violent Outburst[/card]

    3 [card]Hypergenesis[/card]

    Ardent Plea and Violent Outburst are the only two Cascade spells that don’t require a target. [card]Demonic Dread[/card] is unplayable, as cards like [card]Forbidden Orchard[/card] don’t make it work with consistency and also interfere with your gushing.

    The Fat:


    4 [card]Hellkite Overlord[/card]

    4 [card]Progenitus[/card]

    4 [card]Inkwell Leviathan[/card]

    2 [card]Bogardan Hellkite[/card]

    I am using a much smaller creature base, as I found that comboing out in the first place is more important than guaranteeing you the kill once you do. Without effective disruption, you don’t have inevitability and card afford to sculpt a perfect hand, and that means often only being able to cheat out one creature. Also, with the pitch spells, you often are throwing away extra dudes either to stay alive or to push through the combo. Progenitus and Inkwell are the hardest to kill creatures available. The Hellkites are quick sources of damage to the face, which can be important against combo.

    The Support:


    4 [card]Serum Powder[/card]

    4 [card]Force of Will[/card]

    4 [card]Gush[/card]

    [card]Serum Powder[/card] sucks, but makes do. The [card]Gush[/card]es are here because I wanted other spells that an opposing control deck would care about. Also, with the low land count, you often can [card]Gush[/card] to ensure you hit your third mana.

    The Mana:


    4 [card]Flooded Strand[/card]

    4 [card]Wooded Foothills[/card]

    2 [card]Breeding Pool[/card]

    2 [card]Steam Vents[/card]

    1 [card]Savannah[/card]

    1 [card]Tundra[/card]

    1 [card]Gemstone Caverns[/card]

    4 [card]Elvish Spirit Guide[/card]

    4 [card]Simian Spirit Guide[/card]

    I’m not sold on [card]Gemstone Caverns[/card], but the speed can help. [card]Savannah[/card] is in the awkward spot of being a non-island, but you need to be able to fetch a white source out of [card]Wooded Foothills[/card], so it gets the call.

    The Sideboard:


    4 [card]Commandeer[/card]

    4 [card]Krosan Grip[/card]

    4 [card]Pyrokinesis[/card]

    3 [card]Eureka[/card]

    Krosan Grip is for [card]Counterbalance[/card] and [card]Chalice of the Void[/card] that can easily lock you out. Pyrokinesis is an early drop that takes care of [card]Ethersworn Canonist[/card] and [card]Meddling Mage[/card], as well as aggro and elves combo. Eureka is also for blue decks, which often have trouble with top-of-the-curve answers. Usually Force is their only hard counter, and they rely on [card]Daze[/card], [card]Counterbalance[/card], [card]Swords to Plowshares[/card] and [card]Spell Snare[/card] to mop up the rest. Being able to suspend hypergenesis can set up a turn where you can potentially overrun them with three must-counter spells between a consecutive end-of-turn, upkeep and main phase.

    I was actually surprised how viable the deck is. Blue decks aren’t the autoloss they appeared to be, partially because you have card draw and as mentioned, their hard counters are limited. [card]Meddling Mage[/card] and [card]Counterbalance[/card] were the hardest to beat, so it’s definitely not a favorable matchup, but I’d be ok if you can bring it up to 40/60. The real draw of the deck is you also have several near-bye matchups against mono-red, zoo and other creature decks.

    The downside is that the deck is pretty inconsistent. You have no control over your draws and you need the right mix of land/spells/creatures to go off, including which lands you are lucky enough to draw. This makes mulliganing both absolutely necessary and especially costly, though, and also means you will often keep hands that are missing one component and die to decks that would ordinarily have no right beating you. The deck has a huge problem with [card]Necropotence[/card] that goes away, but I’m not sure it fares any better versus [card]Ad Nauseam[/card] Tendrils. It’s also not a cheap deck, considering the forces, so it’s definitely not as good as any other deck you could build for about the same money, but it’s insanely fun to play.

    Next steps regarding the deck are figuring out if I can fix the lands, if the creature mix is ok, and if the sideboard could be better. Other considerations are [card]Magus of the Moon[/card], [card]Natural Order[/card] over Commandeer and maybe grip.

  • Regionals Turbo Fog Players Regret Decision

    Thousands of Magic: The Gathering players expressed feelings of disappointment and regret after choosing to play Turbo Fog at last Saturday’s Regional tournaments, only to fare poorly against those who knew how to play their decks.

    “I had been playing Five Color Control for months, but when I saw that Japanese Turbo Fog list, I knew I had to play it,” said James Griffith of San Luis Obispo. “I wanted to play something unique and different at Regionals, so I decided to play Turbo Fog like everyone else.”

    “Match 1 of Regionals was the first time I had played the deck,” said Ayden Jayden Payden of Green Bay. He admitted that his spontaneous switch to Turbo Fog may have been a mistake. “One opponent Banefired me for 8, and I played Holy Day in response, but the judge said that wouldn’t stop the damage even though the Banefire was, in a metaphorical sense, ‘attacking’ me.”

    Griffith’s 12-year-old brother Randy played red and did relatively well at Regionals. “I would attack, and my opponent would fog. But I would keep attacking and eventually they’d run out of fogs,” he said, shrugging.

    Griffith agreed and said that it was the lack of a perpetual fog that cost him vital matches. “If only there was a fog that worked turn after turn!” he shouted.

    “Make their life zero and then they can’t attack you anymore,” Randy responded, shrugging a lot. “It’s the best fog in the format.”

  • GoodGamery News – May 2009

    Dead On Repeated Arrival of Faeries

    MTGO, INTERNET – Local Black/Green Elves player Samwise GeeGee was attacked last night by a gang of 1/1 Faerie Rogue tokens with flying. He was pronounced dead on arrival: He did not have a Pulse.

    Tattermunge Maniac Green with Envy

    JUND, ALARA – A local Goblin Warrior named Tattermunge Maniac attacked his coworkers at his office in Jund last week when he discovered that his hard work had lead to a bonus for his coworker. “I do all the hard work of being multiple colors, and he gets +1/+1 and Haste,” said the Maniac about his Goblin Berserker officemate Jund Hackblade. Just before attacking the GoodGamery News van, the Maniac elaborated “He costs twice as much as I do and sometimes doesn’t even attack, I think I deserve at least as big of a bonus as he does!”

    Akroma and Child Die in Freak Childbirthing Accident

    DOMINARIA, REGULAR NON-ALTERNATE UNIVERSE – Moments after giving birth to a daughter, the legendary creature announced that she would name her daughter after herself. Before anyone could gain priority to respond, both mother and child were put into a graveyard from play.

    MTGO Alara Reborn Game Logs Leaked

    MTGO, INTERNET – Reader Winston Churchill sent in the following game log from the Magic: the Gathering Online beta.
    – Zombie Churchill plays Enigma Sphinx
    – Zombie Churchill plays triggered ability of Enigma Sphinx
    – Zombie Churchill reveals ??? from Cascade
    – Zombie Churchill plays ???
    – Zombie Churchill plays triggered ability of ???
    – Zombie Churchill reveals Mask of Riddles from Cascade
    – Zombie Churchill plays Mask of Riddles
    – Zombie Churchill says: “A Mask of Riddles wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an Enigma Sphinx!”

    Dauntless Escort Goes AWOL

    JUNGLE SHRINE, ALARA – A Dauntless Escort went AWOL today during a routine battle near the Jungle Shrine. GoodGamery News caught up with the not-so-dauntless Dauntless Escort for an interview, in which he appeared strangely animated, and even enchanted at times. When asked why he fled the scene, the Rhino Soldier claimed that the end times were near and that the Wrath of God was coming down upon us. His Sigil Captain dismissed these claims as the ravings of a religious lunatic, and said that if the Wrath of God had come down he would know about it. “I’ve done some pretty disturbing things in my time for a few +1/+1 counters,” the Captain said, “and believe me, I would be dead by now if God had any say in the matter.”

    Obesity Epidemic Declared Over

    JUND, ALARA – The number one health issue on the minds of Alaran residents this year has been the obesity epidemic that the media have termed Lards of Alara. But now officials are saying the epidemic is over quicker than it began. “There is no obesity problem in Alara”, stated Wall of Denial, the newly appointed Defender of Health. The Wall did not elaborate and could not be the target of further questioning.

    Elven Game Considered More Dangerous than Goblin Game

    JUND, ALARA – Authorities were called to an Alaran Elementary School for Elves when it was reported that elven schoolgirls were participating in the dangerous game of braiding each others’ blood. Witness reports suggest that the authorities simply stood there for a full turn after arriving on the scene, while the schoolgirls escaped with haste.

    A Momentary Blink of Reason

    NAYA, ALARA – After returning home from work last night, Sir Lanceabit, a Knight of the White Orchid, searched his library for a Sacred Foundry and put it into play tapped. He was immediately surprised and killed by his pet Nacatl. Friends of the deceased have reported that Sir Lanceabit believed he had purchased a Domesticated Nacatl and that he did not expect it to grow larger than 2/2.

  • Pro MTG Online #221

    Pro MTG Online #221

  • Pro MTG Online #220

    Pro MTG Online #220

  • What Magic Color are You, You Moron?

    As Internet quizzes have shown us, any list of any kind can neatly compartmentalize everyone’s personality. And these even apply to the various kinds of idiots we all have to deal with.

    If you are a nincompoop, imbecile or blockhead, your individual personality likely aligns with one of the five colors of Magic: The Gathering, and should feel free to put any of the following images into your MTGSalvation signature in order to better express yourself.
















  • Metrognomes

  • Pro MTG Online #219

    Pro MTG Online #219