Good Gamery

Category: mtg

  • WOTC Issues Errata for Sorrow’s Path

    RENTON — Yesterday, gaming company Wizards of the Coast shocked millions by issuing functional errata on Magic: the Gathering card Sorrow's Path, last printed in The Dark in 1994. Rules Manager Mark Gottlieb explained the reason for the update:

    “Sorrow’s Path predated half-line spaces between abilities, so when looking at the actual card, there was no way to tell whether this was all a single activated ability or the first three lines were an activated ability and the last three lines were a separate triggered ability.”

    The card will now contain a triggered ability that will function whenever it becomes tapped, rather than only when the activated ability is played.

    Already, Legacy players are insisting that every decklist must now begin:


    Errata on older cards that seriously affects their playability is not new. Prior to the Portal sets’ becoming legal in Eternal formats, they received modern Oracle text, and Legacy and Vintage players everywhere were shocked to learn that Zodiac Dragon’s ability no longer triggered whenever the hell you wanted. Fans of putting cards on other cards were devastated when Cold Storage was updated, to avoid the philosophical problem that would arise if you attempted to put an animated Cold Storage on top of itself. And no one has any idea anymore what Time Vault does these days.

    Perhaps most famous was the functional change issued to the popular and well-known Mirage rare Flash prior to Grand Prix Columbus. Questioned on the timing, Gottlieb responded, “It was important to us to get the card fixed as soon as we learned about it. We needed to restore the card to its original intent of allowing a player to search for any number of creature cards with total converted mana cost 6 or less and put them into play, or choose a land of each basic land type, then destroy those lands, then choose a land of each basic land type, then destroy those lands. Man, an instant for two mana? What were those Mirage designers thinking?”

    The impact of the new Sorrow’s Path remains to be seen, but at press time, all major online retailers appeared to be sold out of both it and Rune of Protection: Lands.




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  • NJ’s Conflux Set Review

    Read the article at this Thread Link.

  • Shard Convergence



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  • Wizards Get Conflux Names Wrong

    ALARA — Citizens across each of the five shards are up in arms about the latest Magic: The Gathering set, entitled “Conflux,” complaining that its creators, the Wizards of the Coast, are screwing up their names on purpose.

    “Some of the Wizards visited Alara to snap some digital photos, do some interviews, visit some hot spots, and I don’t think they expected the reaction they got,” said Gleotyc, an Esper Shardian. “Frankly, we Alarans are not friendly to outsiders. We don’t want them here, and we made that very clear to them with our rudeness and aloof demeanor,” it continued.

    It appears that, out of spite, the Wizards are now spelling Alarans’ names wrong intentionally. Gleotyc, an artificial Homo-Nucleus (or “same core”), was disturbed to discover that its kind are being spelled “Homu-Nculus” by the naughty Wizards.

    Similarly angry was Jim Conway, an auto mechanic. “They called me a ‘mechanist,’” grunted the 43-year-old faerie while cynically pronouncing “mechanist” with an effeminate lisp. “Sounds like a job for homos,” he concluded, referring to the fact that many Homo-Nuclei are mechanists.

    We also spoke with Hellspank Elemental, Guiltspire Avengist, Nick’s Athid, Goblin Mazerunners, Vicious Dragon and MegaloNoth. All of their names have been misspelled. “I’m holding out that it’s just spoiler typos,” said Hellspank, a Jundese fetish pornographer.

    Even a spell currently on the stack, with a lifespan of mere moments and without any sentience at all, was upset. “My name’s Memory Lapse, not ‘Lapse of Certainty!’ And I’m not a damn cracker!” it roared before going to the graveyard.




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  • Good Gamery News – December 2008

    Hasbro Executive Points at Graph

    As the latest rumour season heats up, details of a Conflux planning meeting involving a highly placed Hasbro executive are starting to come to light. According to an inside source, the meeting was brief and gave the dev team a very clear direction.

    “The meeting started off very typically, with Randy and Mark trying to see who could blow spitballs through straws up their nose the farthest,” the source said, “but then one of the rarely-seen big bosses barged in and started yelling at us, talking about sagging profits and stuff.”

    “He was quite fat,” the source added.

    Those present were given more than a tounge-lashing, however. “He had this big graph of company revenue from like ’98 onwards. He pointed at a spike at September 2000 and said ‘Do you nerdy $#%!s see this? Just do whatever you did here’.” September 2000 is when Wizards of the Coast released the Invasion expansion.

    “At first we were just going to reprint everything, even the cards we printed the first time just to hose Rebels and Port. We instead decided to split the cards up over two smaller expansions as this gave us more time to find names for the cards whose flavour didn’t make sense any more. I mean, can you believe that we haven’t had a card called ‘Goblin Outlander’ yet? Discoveries like these take time.”

    Wizards to Release “From the Vault: Disenchants” in Time for Valentines Day

    Hot on the heels of its wildly sucessful “From the Vault: Dragons” boxed set, Wizards of the Coast has announced “From the Vault: Disenchants”. This limited edition boxed set will feature 15 all-foil cards with the ability to destroy target artifact or enchantment. See the announcement page for more details.

    Deck Validation Problems Continue to Plague MTGO

    Many MTGO players attempting to enter Standard tournaments with completely legal decks this weekend were met with a “Deck Not Valid” message. After much speculation as to the cause, Wizards has released a statement on their MTGO messageboard claiming the problem has to do with basic lands.

    “Right now we are having a server-side issue with Standard deck validation, specifically decks with basic lands in them. As of now, any deck containing basic lands is being rejected as invalid by the system,” the post by representative WotC_Mike read. “Devs are working on a fix, but players should know it’s not a huge priority for us. The format is still playable in its current state and honestly we have more pressing issues.” He went on to say it may take “a couple weeks or more” for the issue to be resolved.

    This is the second time in as many months that MTGO has had deck validation problems. Last month some legal Prismatic decks were being rejected by the system as invalid due to a problem in dealing with split cards such as Fire/Ice. As of publishing this issue also remains unresolved

  • Not Yavimaya Barbarian



    (Thread Link)

  • Lack of Bannings Upsets Villain

    The DCI Banned and Restricted List announcement was released today. To the relief of many Magic players, particularly fans of Standard Faeries and Extended Elves, there were no changes. But to one man, Monsieur Le Chiffre, it was the worst news imaginable.

    “I was counting on Bitterblossom getting banned, and at the very least Glimpse of Nature,” said Le Chiffre, known as Magic card banker to terrorist organizations. Whenever terrorists would need some cards to complete a deck, Le Chiffre’s contacts would hook them up in time for upcoming Pro Tours and Grand Prixs all around the world. Le Chiffre had promised his clients that there would be no risk, but the reality was quite the opposite.

    Only days ago, Le Chiffre’s bedroom in the basement of his mother’s house was littered with tall stacks of Blossoms and Glimpses on loan from clients. But he sold them all on eBay expecting them to be banned and to rebuy them at a discount. Now they may jump even higher in price. “It’s just not fair!” Le Chiffre wailed as he dabbed his scarred eye with a hankerchief, his face all scrunched up like an upset baby.

    Le Chiffre has reason to be upset. He had paid off Carlos Adrone, one of the Grand Wizards of the Wizards of the Coast High Council, to ensure the desired bannings. Mere hours before the final decision, Adrone was assassinated by British secret service agent Mark Rosewater.




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  • You Too Can Help Spread the Word

    This month, Good Gamery net profits are down almost 6 million dollars. Advertisers such as Smiley Central, Cursor Mania, and Zwinky have pulled their banners from our site, cutting off a vital source of revenue. And that’s just the beginning — today we all discovered that the world is undergoing a massive credit crisis, and web sites featuring Magic: The Gathering humor are some of the most affected.

    There’s only one person who can help us out of this mess. You. That’s right — there’s a special JavaScript running on this page ensuring that only you can see this message. I’m talking to just you, buddy.

    “But what can I do?” another JavaScript program hears you ask by accessing your microphone hardware and listening to you as talk to yourself. Here’s how you can help:

    By spreading the word about Good Gamery.

    They don’t know it yet, but everyone needs to hear about Good Gamery. They need to read our articles, flip through our comics, post on our forums and chat their work days away. And you can give them the hook ups. Here’s how you do it:

    As you are about to conclude an MTG match with an opponent on MODO, MWS, Apprentice, or even IRL, throw out a “G.G.”

    Just a little “G.G.” It’ll pique their interest. “What’s G.G.?” they’ll ask. You’ll then explain that it stands for Good Gamery, the fastest growing Magic: The Gathering humor web site on the internet having both a forum community and an oft-updated front page.




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  • MagicTheGathering.com Decoder

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    mtg.goodgamery.com

    Daily MTG

    News List – Columns List

    Event Coverage

    PTQ Honolulu Information

    “Decks of the Week” archive

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    Spoiler of Standard-Legal Vanguard Avatars

    The Rules

  • Good Gamery News – November 2008

    Casual Player Sick of Playing Against Elves

    When asked about his Casual Extended Game message “No Elves, No Dragons; Only Discard, LD, Counters or other interesting decks pls”, Magic Online User darkraistlin13 was unrepentant.

    “I just find it stupid and pointless to play against the same deck over and over again” he said. “Don’t these players have any sense of fun or originality? I play Magic for fun, and getting killed on the second turn every game before I’ve had a chance to use my Cancels and Stone Rains isn’t fun. I mean, who finds playing with Elves and Dragons enjoyable anyway?”

    “It’s getting to the point where I will concede if my opponent plays a basic Forest on the first turn.”

    Secret Magic Online Programming Credits List Found

    As first reported by ModoSharks, the programming credits list is stored on every computer on which Magic Online is installed. For many, the contents of the list were mostly expected.

    “I’ve suspected for a while that a motherfucker, a shithead, and a sonofabitch have had a hand in programming v3,” noted online magician Aziridine said. “It’s no surprise to me that cannabis was involved either.”

    When asked if there were any surprises on the list, he responded affirmatively.

    “Surprises? Yeah, there were a few,” Aziridine said. “For instance, I would have bet like 5tix that there would be at least one retard credited in there. Most shocking to me was that something as wonderful as boobies could have had anything to do with writing this program.”

    “Planeswalker Deck” Tears Up States, Old-School Player Rolls Eyes

    News of a new “Planeswalker Deck” similar to the one piloted by Themistoklis Panagiotaras to victory at Missouri Champs has changed the way many are thinking about the standard metagame. At least one player, however, is unimpressed.

    Rick Dustington of Seattle, upon hearing news of this exciting new deck, visibly scoffed. “A what deck? Shit, in my day something like that wouldn’t have gotten past the second round. First of all no one played Plains. Sure, Islandwalkers were a good choice if they were efficient enough. But Plainswalkers? Sheesh.”

    “And even if someone was dumb enough to play Plains, they had tons of ways to deal with Plainswalkers” he continued. “Heck, they had Wrath of God, Swords to Plowshares, and if things got really hairy, Great Wall. Players these days must be really unresourceful to let something like that get the better of them.”




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