We at Good Gamery have received an exclusive sneak peek at what Magic fans can cross their fingers and hope to open once Dominaria releases in 2018. We’re excited to see how this new set will go back to Magic’s roots. Click below to reveal all fifteen Masterpieces from the set. Enjoy!
Category: mtg
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Post-Modern Masters
What is happening to our world? This question is on the tip of the tongue of every picket-fencer to ever own a bit of Native land right now. The rich don’t know if the government is on their side anymore. The poor don’t know if they’ve taken the halls of power or not. And the bourgeois just want a new Marvel movie to distract them from the storm clouds. But the true artist knows that the world hasn’t changed.
Mark Rosewater is the single greatest living artist of our time. His world in Magic: THE Gathering has been an illuminating tent-pole for the outsider community, from tackling queer identity in Apocalypse (Jilt, Dead Ringers, Cromat), mass media control in Innistrad (Cloistered Youth, Feeling of Dread, Furor of the Bitten), or Theros’s takedown of fitness and health culture (Time to Feed, Messenger’s Speed, Pharika’s Cure), Rosewater has always known how to take the pulp and make it high art. And his latest “masterpiece” is beyond Modern.
The Modern Masters series has historically been one of the most popular of Magic’s pieces. The idea is relatively ingenious: buy the stuff that you already have. The buyer doesn’t have to be confronted with anything new; to purchase Modern Masters is to purchase your comfort zone with worse art. This grip on nostalgia is being pushed even farther with the new exhibition: Post-Modern Masters.
Perhaps you’ll recognize this card. From the past. From the present. Even from the future. We were excited about (Grizzly Bears) as a child. We are excited about (Grizzly Bears) now. Cards like these are called “skill testers” as they allow us to reflect on our failings and how we might overcome them. The new-age self-help hogwash reeks on this one.
Speaking of self-help, what deconstruction would be complete without a bit of shop therapy? Black is the color that most accurately reflects the atheistic, consumption based world of the Magic player, where meaningful communion with God has been replaced with opening a fetchland. When we crack a pack we crack our soul; our excitement fades into stacks of miniature commercials saying, “Try burn!” and “Save me cause I might be pauper-relevant!” Black can’t do anything but lose.
But now for a bit of contradictions. How do you show that each persons’ experience is unique while frankly pointing out how homogenized we are. First there was the Neopets shop. Now there is Eager Cadet. You can’t play it in tournaments, but you wouldn’t anyway. Because it does what it does, no more, no less. Not to mention a wonderful example of the ‘flavor-text within a flavor-text’ motif started back in Alpha.
The number of games of Magic you have played is countless. Yet the number must be higher. Is this freedom? How can a human feel (let’s face it, there’s no such thing as being) free when they can only evaluate things against one another. This one is big. This one is small. This one is strictly better. This one is strictly worse. Strip out the parts and get to the heart. The treadmill is all you know.
A total miss at every level. What’s this Bob Ross clusterwhoops? I get it. It’s named like a painting. Ohohoho nostalgia blah blah blah. Mark Rosewater has totally lost his touch and as far as I’m concerned has forfeited the title of artist. So easy.
Rosewater often references how lands are a design feature and not a flaw. There are things that you say in public which you could never believe in private. More than any other card, this highlights how trapped he must feel in his daily life. Untap. Upkeep. Draw. First main. Go to declare attackers. Block. Maybe combat damage. Second main. Clean up. And his opponent, that shadowy alien, takes its turn seemingly in tandem. Soulbound, Rosewater passes priority to death.
If the world is driving off a cliff, I’m glad Mark Rosewater is in charge of the radio. I love REM.
MSRP: About $12.99, depending on the day
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Just in time for the holidays, Good Gamery remembers all of our favorite Time Spiral cards
Reminiscing about old sets is one of our favorite holiday pastimes. Here are twenty-seven of our favorite cards from the classic expert-level expansion block Time Spiral. We think you’ll be delighted to walk down memory lane with us.
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Neighborhood Man Disappoints Trick-or-Treaters
Seattle, Washington — Neighborhood children are despondent after discovering that, instead of candy, parents will be handing out “treasure chests” this year for Halloween. “Treasure chests” are curated packages of Halloween favorites, like raisins, stickers, candy corn and 20-carat diamonds.
“We feel that treasure chests will truly add to the excitement of the Halloween experience,” according to local man Worth Wollpert. “We felt that currently the Halloween experience is damaged by the fact that whenever a child goes to a house, they know they are going to get candy they want or can trade with their friends for candy they want. Treasure chests reintroduce fun surprises that truly capture the spirit of Halloween.” Wollpert then noticed a child trying to trade their sealed treasure chest for a circus peanut, and ran away to try to stop them.
But many in the neighborhood are upset by this change. “Fuck you, I want candy. Why do the adults think they can keep on shitting on us like this?” inquired one local child. Another child expressed that he felt this change was “the stupidest thing ever” and told us that he was thinking about trick-or-treating on Stonehearth Road instead.
UPDATE: Following the publication of this article, neighborhood spokesperson Lee Sharpe issued a statement.
“We have heard your concerns about treasure chests. We remain very excited for their release but wanted to address some trick-or-treaters concerns. We heard your requests and will be providing a complete breakdown of the percentage each treasure chest can contain a premium treat. In addition, we are thinking about allowing trick-or-treaters to trade treasure chests in the future.”
Treasure Chest Contents
Commons
Raisins
Staples
Apple Slices
Crayons
Jack Chick Tracts
Carrots
Informational Pamphlet about the Lutheran Church on 6th Street
Ketchup PacketsUncommon
Tootsie Rolls
Smarties
Breath Mints
A bag of cereal
Candy Corn
Trail MixMythic Rare/Premium
20-Carat Diamond
Fun Size Snickers
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Starbursts
A BMW
Cocaine
Twizzlers
Starbursts
Hundred dollar bill
Peanut M&Ms -
Judge’s Corner #2: Special Kaladesh Edition
Welcome back to our semi-regular series Judge’s Corner. This week we have a special Kaladesh edition of Judge’s Corner where we go over some important rules notes and reminders about the new set in preparation for the upcoming prerelease.
Kaladesh mechanics and general notes
Vehicles
● Vehicles are a new artifact subtype that can be “crewed” by creatures in a way similar to how Equipment can be equipped to creatures. To understand how Vehicles work, just think about what makes intuitive sense: e.g., a Blind Seer cannot crew a Vehicle, and so on.
● Note importantly that Vehicles are not creatures themselves. Thus they are not affected by summoning sickness and can tap and attack the turn they come into play.
● Vehicles can crew other Vehicles. In a pinch, a Vehicle can even crew itself! Step aside Google; in Kaladesh, self-driving cars are already a reality. :)
Energy Counters
● Energy counters are a new resource in Magic: the Gathering. Certain cards in Kaladesh give you energy counters. Unlike mana, energy counters don’t go away at the end of the turn.
● We’ve created the following “energy economy” chart to show what you can do with energy counters:
Thus at any time you may spend one energy counter to deal two damage to your opponent, spend two energy counters to put a +1/+1 counter on target creature, and so on.
● Players will need to keep track of their energy counter total at events. Unfortunately, energy counter token cards were inadvertently omitted from the initial print run of Kaladesh. They will appear in subsequent print runs. So for the prerelease, please use the following downloadable energy counter token:
The return of gold-bordered cards
● Kaladesh marks the long-awaited return of gold-bordered cards, which will be randomly inserted in certain Kaladesh boosters.
● Gold-bordered cards, originally available in World Championship Decks from 1997 to 2004, are “official proxies”: they’re a great way to represent powerful cards like Sword of Fire and Ice when playing with your friends, but they are not legal for tournament play in any setting.
Card-specific notes
Animation Module: We recommend stores running prereleases have some extra copies of Failed Inspection, Disappearing Act, etc. on hand to give to players lucky enough to open up an Animation Module.
Bomat Courier: If the controller of a Bomat Courier accidentally looks at it he should be given a “looking at extra cards” penalty. Players may cover their Couriers with pieces of paper to avoid looking at them. At the professional REL, Bomat Couriers will be double-opaque-sleeved during drafts to avoid inadvertent looking.
Ceremonious Rejection: Remember that, even if they produce colored mana, lands are colorless.
Empyreal Voyager: “That many” means with respect to the energy economy; e.g., if Empyreal Voyager deals 2 damage to your opponent, you get one energy counter.
Saheeli Rai: A token copy of an artifact created with Saheeli Rai’s -2 ability counts as two artifacts for the purposes of cards like Welding Sparks.
Now go have fun at the prerelease!
Submit your questions to @goodgamery on Twitter using #judgescorner.
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Judge’s Corner
Welcome to our new semi-regular series Judge’s Corner, where we will answer your rules questions.
Q: I attacked my opponent with a dragon and he cast a Summary Dismissal and said my dragon was exiled because creatures are actually creature spells. Is that true?
A: Actually, everything that isn’t a land is a spell, so all creatures, enchantments, artifacts, planeswalkers, and even cards in your hand and graveyard are exiled. Lands stay around but since their mana abilities are countered they can no longer tap.
Q: I cast Savage Punch targeting my Hooting Mandrills and my opponent’s Dripping Dead. Does the Mandrills survive the fight?
A: This is something that confuses a lot of players: if you read Savage Punch closely, you’ll see that it gives the Mandrills +2/+2 “until end of turn before it fights”, i.e. until end of last turn. Thus the Mandrill is dealt four damage and dies.
Q: What does the ◊ symbol mean?
A: ◊ is the new colorless mana symbol. 1 is the old colorless mana symbol. For example, World Breaker’s ability reads “2 ◊, Sacrifice a land: Return World Breaker from your graveyard to your hand.” This indicates that you must pay 2 old colorless mana and 1 new colorless mana to use its ability. This is similar to how there is both old and new white mana.
Q: At the pre-release yesterday, my buddy opened a mythic rare card. It was something I had never seen before, in the text line under the art, instead of creature or sorcery or enchantment it said planeswalker. Can you explain what that is and how it works?
A: Mythic rare cards show up in boosters at a rate of 1 per 8 boosters. Your buddy only got 6 boosters in his pre-release box so if he claims he got a mythic rare card there, he’s cheating. You should contact the nearest judge as quickly as possible.
Q: I cast Infinite Obliteration against an opponent, who then calls a judge claiming I must choose a number for “any.” What gives?
A: This is correct; instances of “any,” “infinite,” et al. are considered to be arbitrarily large rational integers to avoid gameplay issues like gaining infinite life, etc. To avoid confusion, we are issuing errata to change the name of the card to Arbitrarily Large Obliteration, along with cards such as Pull from Eternity (now renamed as Pull from an Arbitrarily Long Stretch of Time) and Endless Horizons (which will now be named Arbitrarily Quantifiable Horizons).
Submit your questions to @goodgamery on Twitter using #judgescorner.
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Gram’mrakul: A linguistic guide to the Apocalypse
Emrakul has risen on Innistrad! Of course you’ll want to tell your fellow townsfolk, city elders and lab projects about this exciting news, but don’t get caught out. Before you start jabbering in eldritch terror, you need to make sure you know your I’amrakul from your Be’mrakul. Don’t sit there gibbering like a tooth collector with delirium – get a clue with this handy grammatical guide to the ineffable terror that awaits us all.
I Nominative pronouns
I’amrakul
You’rakul
He’srakul / She’srakul / It’srakul
We’rakul
You’rakul
They’rakulExamples:
(1) Edith is summoning Emrakul at the coast of Nephalia. “I’amrakul!” she wails in doomed elation.(2) Two angels have become fused together into a terrifying ur-being. They’rakul now and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
II Accusative pronouns
Me’mrakul
You’rakul
Hi’mrakul / Her’rakul / It’rakul
Us’rakul
Y’allrakul
Th’emrakulExamples:
(1) How I long to become subsumed into your unknowable essence! Choose me! Me! Me’mrakul.(2) Tobias was always more devout than me – why don’t you subsume hi’mrakul instead?
III To Be’mrakul
I’amrakul
You are’mrakul
He / She / It is’mrakul
We are’mrakul
You are’mrakul
They are’mrakulExamples:
– Looking pretty bleak, what?
– It certainly is’mrakul.IV Other verbs
Verbs are usually expressed in the imperative, in a formulation known as an entreaty, formed thus:
(1) Come’mrakul!
(2) Abide’mrakul!!
(3) Consume’mrakul!!!
(4) Take’mrakul the second road on the right.
V Numbers
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakul
One’mrakulExamples:
(1) One’mrakul(1) One’mrakul
(1) One’mrakul
(1) One’mrakul
(1) One’mrakul
