Category: general gamery

  • Richard Garfield Announces ‘KeyForge’ Draft Format

    ROSEVILLE, MN — During a press conference at Fantasy Flight Games HQ, Richard Garfield announced the intended draft format for his new zany game, KeyForge: Call of the Archons.

    He calls it, “Deck Drafting.”

    Whereas collectible card games like Magic: The Gathering ask that players draft individual cards to build a deck, Garfield’s vision for KeyForge requires players to draft individual decks.

    This is because while collectible card games like Magic: The Gathering have individual cards that range in quality from “hopelessly bad” to “distressingly overpowered,” KeyForge breaks the mold by having entire decks that range in quality from “hopelessly bad” to “distressingly overpowered.”

    “First, you’ll receive a randomized stack of 15 KeyForge decks, which you’ll fan out in your hands to evaluate which one you’d like to add to your pool,” Garfield explained at a demonstration table, clumsily trying to hold and read 555 cards at once. “This deck, ‘Aunt Mary the Bizzle-Futz,’ has a list where each house totally undermines the strategy of the next, yielding a cyclic loop of self-caused catastrophe. I’ll pass this to my left.”

    “Ah-ha, now we’re talking!” he then chortled. “This other deck, ‘Nar Nar Finks the Ascender-Noodle,’ has Mars/Logos Archive interactions that let you Time Walk your opponent about once a turn, and a Brobnar selection that literally makes your opponent’s amount of Amber a negative number.”

    “I’ll keep that one,” he said with a wink.

    After three draft rounds, each player will end up with 45 decks — “A ‘deck of decks’ if you will,” interrupted Garfield.

    They’ll then play 14,175 best-of-3 rounds in order to compete with each other player, using every possible pairing of decks.

    “Over three and a half years of entertainment,” Garfield observed.

    “That’s a lot of value!” he added.


    Each game of KeyForge already uses gobs of cards…

    Garfield’s next game, tentatively titled “Rage of Mages: The Beckoning,” is rumored to require drafting decks of decks of decks, further revealing that Richard Garfield is dangerously out of control.

     

     

     

  • All About Minecraft Slimes

    Slimes – Their Natural History and Husbandry

    Part 1. What are slimes?

    Briefly, slimes are complex organisms somewhere between algae and sponges. They also have qualities shared with bacteria and with fungi, namely phagocytosis and asexual reproduction. Unlike these kingdoms however, slimes are eukaryotes with behaviour-driven motility and lack a cell wall.

    ANATOMY OF A SLIME

    A slime has a top or lid, face, sides or sidewalls, rear wall, and a base. Living slimes are always oriented thus, and instantly re-orient themselves base down whenever they are tilted or fall at an angle. This is due to the statocyst or positional sensor organ in the slime’s lid. It functions like a primitive inner ear to orient the slime in space.

    Other important anatomical landmarks of the slime include:

    • Chiton – the thick outer slime coat that serves as a protective coating for the slime, and a primitive gut. The chiton is secreted by the capsule, the elastic true skin of the slime.
    • Macula(e) – the sensory apparatus of the slime. They have been called “eyes” and “mouth” because of their shape. They are relatively insensitive to light, but detect exquisitely small movements and magnetic fields.
    • Inclusions – These are mostly debris picked up and embedded in the thick chiton. Some inclusions are products of digestion from items the slime has engulfed.
    • Gonad – A region of the slime that seems to be more metabolically active in the company of other slimes of the same size.
    • Zoochlorellae – These are symbiotic algae and cyanobacteria that live inside the slime and provide it with oxygen and starches. In turn the slime protects the algae from heat and desiccation and provides trace minerals and reduced nitrogen compounds. These organisms are what give the slime its green color.

    Internal Structure of the Slime

    The capsule of the slime is tough and elastic, like a tendon or a thick sheet of rubber. Inside the capsule, the slime consists of three specialized areas, arranged roughly from front to rear.

    • The pyxosome is the area right behind the maculae and is a heavily pigmented mass of dense but friable gelatinous material. Microscopically, it is composed of myriads of nests and coils of sarcoplasm surrounding larger canals filled with serum. The serum component has a high content of soluble heavy metals including redstone, iron, gold, and adminium. It is possible that as much as 70% of a world’s elemental adminium is bound up in slimes, the rest occurring as the dark bars in common bedrock. The pyxosome may be responsible for slime’s sensory functions.
    • The opisthosome occupies the rear of the slime and contains the gonad. In truth the gonad is acellular but rather is made up of a few large, pale inclusions with high organic nutrient content. Bergensten et al. propose that the structure actually is where undigestible materials are stored so as not to damage the slime’s internal chemistry.
    • The elasmosome makes up the majority of the slime and is a colorless to light green, translucent material the consistency of Guk (TM). This is composed almost entirely of matted lattices of microtubules. This is the locomotive engine of the slime and surrounds the other two internal portions, anchoring them to the capsule and to one another. It also provides extensions through the capsule to anchor the chiton in place and stimulate additional chiton secretion in regions of high shear stress.

    The commercial slimeball is actually made up of the elasmosomes of freshly killed slimes.

    Habitat of Slimes



    This herd of slimes occupied the lava pool shown here for several minecraft days.

    Slimes are found deep underground, in areas where constant high temperature and humidity prevail. Since slimes are facultatively photosynthetic, they thrive in and around caverns lit up by magma flows, volcanic vents, and even the high energy lamps used in deep shaft mining. Due to their thick chiton, they are notoriously resistant to fire and burns.

    Since slimes require oxygen to live, they rely on their symbiotic zoochlorellae to provide a small amount. Transplanting a slime into a totally dark oxygen-poor volcanic flue or sulfur vent can suffocate it. However, if a light source is provided, the slime may survive indefinitely (although it will not grow or reproduce).



    The small slime in the center foreground is drowning.

    Slimes are limited to areas where water and ambient moisture are high. Although they can desiccate if stranded or trapped in dry air, they can retain a lot of water and this allows them to migrate long distances to new caverns.

    Contrary to popular belief, slimes can’t swim and they do drown when submerged in water. Commercial elastics harvesting relies on large deep pools or moving conveyors to drown young slimes.

    These slimes are migrating from a dry underground tunnel system to a freshly opened mineshaft, which is still damp.

    Slime Life Cycle



    Slimes of all sizes and life stages in a stampede, a rare and dangerous phenomenon associated with strip mining or flood mining.

    Slimes reproduce either sexually (details unknown) or asexually (fission) to produce daughter slimes. The daughter slime or calf is less than 1 m cubed and has little or no enzymatic activity. It contains relatively more nutrients in the form of inclusions. These sustain the small slime until its own enzymes mature.

    As the slime grows, it becomes capable of engulfing items for food. These digestive properties of the chiton may cause damage on contact with the slime. When it is roughly 8x the weight of a new calf slime, it can reproduce by fission. This often happens when the slime is damaged – the slime divides along a defect in the capsule, healing the defect and producing up to four daughter slimes.

    A mature slime is quite large, slow-moving, and heavy. It has a relatively low moisture content compared to the youngest slimes. To compensate, it produces more concentrated digestive enzymes and acids which are toxic to nearby lifeforms. As a slime ages, its elasmosome loses elasticity and tends to calcify. This can result in large, old slimes getting trapped in corridors or narrow spots and suffocating.



    Slimes have a remarkable elasticity. This image shows the range of slime compressibility in normal locomotion. Slimes may fit through doors and in stairwells that appear to be much too small.

    Slime Ecology



    A matriarch slime protecting a daughter.

    Slimes are found in herds throughout the world, always in geothermally favourable chunks. Although slimes do not exhibit nesting behavior or any other advanced social system, they do have a primitive herd behavior wherein the larger slimes may protect the smaller ones. Small slimes in a herd may collectively push invaders away from resources or off precipices. Slime intelligence is otherwise rather low.

    Slimes – unicellular or multicellular?



    Are these slimes identical, or fraternal, twins?

    Scientists are not sure how to classify slimes. So far no one element of slime anatomy or microanatomy definitely places them in either class. The slime has features of both:

    Features in favor of unicellular organism

    • Body plan consistent across all slime populations and ages/sizes
    • Asexual reproduction is the norm and produces slimes of roughly equal sizes
    • Never reconstitute into a single large slime after dividing into four smaller slimes

    Features in favor of multicellular organism

    • Sexual reproduction possible
    • Discrete and differentiated regions of the slime, i.e. organs and tissues
    • Appear multi-layered, similar to other algal colonies or syncytia
    • Cannot be divided without killing the original slime

    Perhaps the strongest evidence for slimes being multicellular is the macula, which doesn’t appear to have a direct physical communication to any other part of the slime, but activates locomotion and storage of trace metals in other parts of the slime.

    Slimes and the Future



    Slimes in a slime game park enjoying a brief moment in full sun.

    Slimes have been transformed by popular culture over the past 5 expansions. The slime is a strong symbolic figure in the human psyche as a rare, elusive, dangerous, alien, even droll and endearing creature. Modern technology relies heavily on slimeballs as a commercial product, from slimes grown in artificial labs in great numbers under ideal conditions. One disturbing development is the breeding of slimes for populating slime parks and safaris. Slimes are bred and brought to the surface and exposed to sunlight. This causes them to take on an intense green color and become agitated. They are then released into well-tended parkland and hunted from the air or the roadside. Some parks let hunters use packs of hunting dogs. This last is exceedingly cruel for both the slimes and the dogs.



    Hunting slimes with dogs is illegal in several countries.

    Slime petting zoos are common children’s roadside attractions in mining towns. Because the smallest slimes are innocuous, they can be held and petted. Sadly, they are force spawned by slimepunching, wherein adult slimes are placed in a machine and pummeled with pistons or even a handler’s gloved hands. The slimes accumulate damage and eventually split off daughter slimes. Once tourist season is over, the baby slimes are frequently drowned or dropped off a ledge. The resulting slimeballs are then sold to elastics firms.

    The Slime Protection Agency was founded in 2010 to protect slimes from exploitation and promote humane industrial and commercial slimeball harvesting.

    Since then Dupont has developed the first artificial elastic material for making sticky pistons. Slimes remain a curiosity and are still subject to abuses as pets and trophy game mobs.

  • “Block Rogue” for iPhone/iPad Released!

    On this day, January 4, 2011, “Block Rogue” has been released for iPhone and iPad. The Good Gamery community has been eagerly following this project ever since its humble beginnings as a Silverlight prototype. Our beloved/despised leader, Paz, created this game, and has been working with his company, Buzz Monkey Software, to bring it to publication.

    And now it has happened!




    • Block Rogue is a puzzle game where each solution brings you one step closer to discovering the truth!
    • Progress is automatically saved! Jump in and out at your leisure.
    • Puzzle rooms are randomly-generated using ingenious and sinister algorithms for endless replay value!
    • Mind-bending room configurations, from standard push-block puzzles to complex amalgamations of roller-balls, switches, death-rays, and more!
    • Shockingly-deep lore with secret stories hidden throughout the game!



    Here’s where you’ll find it:



    But wait, there’s more!

    First, there’s the Block Rogue Facebook Page. You can go there and “LIKE” it to your heart’s content, and easily share it with your “BFFs.” “LOL.”

    Furthermore, there’s a cool Block Rogue Twitter, in which Ilbin’s memories share several secret online bonus puzzles. Solving the puzzles will reveal a secret about the game lore not found anywhere else!

    “Block Rogue” is the first published “indie” game to be affiliated with Good Gamery. Help us make it an awesome launch by relentlessly and annoyingly spreading the word to everyone you have ever met in your life. Thanks in advance!




  • Build-a-Bear Games Workshop

    The Empire of Man’s quartermasters know that the grim darkness of the 40th millennium can get awfully lonely, not to mention dangerous. That’s why our special unit lets you create a customized lovable little companion to provide friendship and suppressing fire when you need them most. In fact, we offer such a wide variety of potential combinations, that some find assembling the right one daunting. That’s why this guide is here to help you through each station.

    Race

    In addition to earth bears, several types of deadly predators from other worlds are available to base your cuddly warrior on. However, you should be aware that all non-bear choices are blasphemous, and will result in you being immediately handed over to the inquisition.

    Heart

    The first and most important step to creating your adorable homonculus is to write your true name and a rune of command on a heart, and sew it into its chest. This will serve to animate it and bind it to you. It will also help it remain steadfast and true when it is faced with the harsh realities of combat, and the even harsher unrealities of the warp.

    Weapon

    Your little familiar’s weapon is his most important tool, and must be selected with care. So be sure to carefully weigh the pros and cons of each before choosing between the machine gun with flamethrower mode and under-barrel energy chainsaw, and the energy chainsaw with side-mounted flamethrower and machine gun.

    Armor

    A suit of power armor is essential in ensuring that your fluffy friend retains its grotesque parody of life. It provides head-to-toe coverage, but provides special protection for the construct’s notoriously vulnerable shoulders. Shoulder armor defaults to Maximo Supreme but for a manageable surcharge can be upgraded to Uber Grande or even Ultra Platinum which is guaranteed to stop even the most devastating shoulder-seeking missiles.

    Accessories

    Once his armor is in place, you can choose to further adorn your bear buddy with packets of crosses, holy texts, and spikes. But what isn’t optional is decorating him with tiny ursine skulls. We recommend a belt of skulls, a medallion of skulls and liberal skull placement about the armor, but in case that’s not enough, we also offer a procedure to graft extra skulls to its skull.

    Paint

    Let’s be honest, you’re just gonna leave the little guy black or silver.

    Message

    Finally, you can record a custom battle cry for your fuzzy wingman to memorize and shout at his enemies. Or you can settle for a half-hearted prerecorded option such as “I’m pretty sure the Emperor will return, sooner or later” or “Cleanse all the heretics you can easily locate with fire.”

    Sure, you could probably put this all together yourself cheaper without coming to us, but it just wouldn’t be the same…somehow.

  • Dominion: Seaside Spoiler

    Dominion: Seaside is the latest set released for Donald X. Vaccarino’s award-winning card game, Dominion.

    After you look at the cards, you should also check out this preview article about Dominion: Seaside.

    Hover your mouse over the cards to see their full size.







  • MADD Educational Drunk Driving Videogame Backfires

    What Mothers Against Drunk Driving spokespeople hoped would be a valuable day of learning for the students of Kayawatha Junior Highschool has turned into a public relations nightmare. MADD had recently hired local videogame company Verysoft to produce a video game that simulates the effects of drinking alcohol and driving. In an open house presentation, MADD spokesperson Terry Wilkinson introduced the game and gave a short lecture about the effects of drunk diving. Afterwards, the game consoles were opened up to the students to try out for themselves. To say that things didn’t go according to plan would be an understatement.

    “Well, the idea behind the game was to introduce kids to the dangers of drinking and driving through a medium that they will pay attention to, and enjoy,” Wilkinson explained. “Well, let’s just say that they were having a little too much fun during the part of the game where the driver was drunk.”

    “This game is the BEST!” bubbled 7th grader Jamal White. “The game was boring as hell when you were just driving around normally, but when ‘Drink and Drive Dave’ starts drinking, the special effects are wicked! You start going a lot faster and there’s all these cool light tracer effects, and the music gets waaaaay louder. Whenever you hit X, Dave pounds another shot of whiskey and things get even more awesomer! It’s also a lot easier to crash, which is sweet!”

    The game was designed to be as realistic as possible, allowing players to choose what type of alcohol Dave ingests while driving the vehicle. Beer creates groggy response times and inability to keep your eyes on the road, whiskey increases anger and speed, while tequila creates blackouts lasting up to 30 seconds.

    MADD staff noticed too late how the level of enjoyment increased during the drunk driving segment of the game. The students signalled their enjoyment with whooping, high-fiving and a general air of excitement. After the game session was completed, Mr. Wilkinson stood in front of the auditorium and gave a grave speech focusing on the realities of drunk driving that everyone seemed to ignore.

    “Drunk driving seems awesome,” said one Tiffany Lainstone. “I can’t wait until I’m sixteen!”

    Most students shared her enthusiasm. “I drove into a gas station and everything exploded. I didn’t even think of doing that, I just sort of lost control and it happened. That’s badass!” echoed Timothy Tremblay. “Videogames teach me what is and isn’t acceptable in the real world!”

  • Prospective Student Considers FSU, Reconsiders

    When Internet user Gam3r91 read the web advertisement for Full Sail University’s (FSU, not to be confused with Florida State University) Game Development Degree Program, he was at first excited. The advertisement suggested that Gam3r91 turn his passion for gaming into a career.

    “Unlike most people, I have a real passion for gaming,” Gam3r91 said. “It would be great if I could take this unique passion for gaming of mine and channel it into a career.”

    Gam3r91 was intrigued by the name of the university as well.

    “I like the idea of a ‘full sail,’ the wind at my back, fate itself propelling me toward turning my passion for gaming into a career,” he explained.

    Things took a turn for the worse, however, when he saw the figures on the advertisement: Two large, poorly-dressed, poorly-maintained dorks playing video games on a couch. Their heads were digitally modified to look like they were made of voxels.

    “Even though their heads were voxelized, I could tell what they looked like I.R.L.,” Gam3r91 said. “And I didn’t like what I saw.”

    Gam3r91 went on to explain how these two men look exactly like people he would never, ever want to associate with. “They look like terrible, terrible people to be around,” he said. He proceeded to point out their unkempt hair, caveman-like eyebrows, hunched stature, and aggressive demeanor.

    “Why would I want to go to this school when I know these neanderthals are going to be there as well?” Gam3r91 said. “I’m not even sure I have a passion for gaming anymore.”

    Full Sail University is located in Winter Park, FL. The advertisement implies that FSU teaches game development exclusively for the Bananazone Pro game console.

  • ‘BlockRogue’ Wins Game Contest

    One of our very own members here at Good Gamery has won Microsoft’s Silverlight game development contest called “Dr. Dobb’s Challenge Deuce!” His entry was called BlockRogue, and you can play it right here!

  • Pro MTG Online #216

    Pro MTG Online #216