Good Gamery

Tag: ozymandias

  • Magic Community Reactions: M10 Rules Changes

    With the recent announcement by Rules Manager Mark Gottlieb of the streamlining of various Magic: The Gathering, including the removal of mana burn, stacking combat damage, and wishing for cards in the removed-from-game zone, the local card-slinging community has been set abuzz with a veritable firestorm of controversy. We interviewed a cross-section of local players about their feelings with respect to the changes, with reactions ranging from melancholy to sadistic glee.

    Rules maven Melvin Brazinsky, certified Magic Rules Advisor and Level 1 Judge applicant, was in a state of panic not seen since he lost his inhaler.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” was the most intelligible comment to come from Brazinsky.

    Johnny Gordano, on the other hand, had a complaint about the changes expressible in words, as opposed to heartrending cries of rage and grief. Carefully storing two Burning Wishes, a Mirari, a Leyline of the Void, and a Walk the Aeons in his binder, he railed against what he called a “pointless dumbing-down.”

    “Look at all of the functionality they’re removing! All the design space they’re closing up! Why, it’s an outrage! I shall have no part in this abomination!”

    Reports that Gordano had traded for four Braid of Fire this very morning remain unconfirmed.

    Some remained close-lipped about the entire situation.

    “My mommy says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers” announced Timmy Jorgensen.

    Spike Ferguson, notable local “pro” (9th place at Manitoba Regionals), was more noticeably sanguine about the changes.

    “I guess as long as my opponents are denied the same tactical opportunities as I am, everything will be okay. Upkeep, Clique you?” Spike offered.

    There were even some mildly enthusiastic responses to the changes.

    “I DRINK THY MILKSHAKE, MELVIN!” exulted Vorthos Smith. Between sips of Melvin’s milkshake, he explained the reasons for his excitement.

    “Forsooth and anon, these changes come as glad tidings,” babbled Vorthos.

    “The sweet harmony of rules and flavor is a consummation I have devoutly wished!” he continued, badly mangling Shakespeare in the process.

    “At last, the Wizard of the Coast doth listen to me, and he doth say ‘I hearest thou, Vorthos! Go forth and reign!’” he concluded. Our reporter at this point could not help but notice that he smelled of rotting bananas and self-abuse. He prayed these two smells were not linked.

    “Perchance, hast thou seen mine robe and wizardly hat?”

    Below: Melvin’s reaction to the rules change.

  • Uril, the Miststalker: A Creepy Thing Not from Grixis

    Alara, fresh off its planar merger with itself, has been beset by all manner of difficulties, ranging from Etherium Abominations devouring Bant birthday parties to Vithian Renegades breaking the Time Sieve breaking the Time Sieve breaking the Time Sieve breaking the Time Sieve…well, that was awkward. In any case, the biggest concern among Alara’s notables was the heretofore unknown entity known only as Uril, the Miststalker, who has been making several entities on Alara very, very uncomfortable.

    “He kind of comes over and breathes heavy. It’s really weird,” offered Elspeth, Knight-errant. “Oh, and then he kills a soldier.”

    “I tried Threatening him, but for some reason I couldn’t,” reported Sarkhan Vol. “Have I told you how much I like dragons?”

    “Sorry, I’ve been too busy distorting Vintage. What were you saying?” asked Tezzeret the Seeker.

    The creature, whose motives remain unknown, has a simple modus operandi: it appears out of the mists, approaches with a disturbingly shuffly gait, breathes loudly and makes obscene gestures, and then brutally murders the nearest goblin, thopter, or bird dumb enough to get between it and its object. Though no planeswalkers have been harmed yet, it is beleived it is only a matter of time before one of them takes a beating (not that that prick Ajani doesn’t deserve one).

    Uril has become even more disturbing since he inexplicably acquired Asha’s favor. Now endowed with flight, he has become the boogeyman lurking in every window in Alara. Besides the actual boogeymen, of course.

    “He was unable to answer my riddle, and yet I spared his life,” puzzled the Sphinx of the Steel Wind, casually munching on a vedalken.

    “URIL HAS FOILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I WILL GAIN CONTROL OF HIM WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT!” roared Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker. “Oh, I didn’t see you there. Care for some tea?”

    Though a solution to Uril’s presence has yet to be discovered, many options are being considered, including some as drastic as Scourglass activation or a Martial Coup. Despite all of the furor, however. it should be noted that some had more positive opinions of the attention.

    “I dunno, I kind of like things with 5 power or more,” commented Mayael, the Anima, notorious Nayan size queen.