Wizard Energy Beverages 
Magic Community Reactions: M10 Rules Changes
With the recent announcement by Rules Manager Mark Gottlieb of the streamlining of various Magic: The Gathering, including the removal of mana burn, stacking combat damage, and wishing for cards in the removed-from-game zone, the local card-slinging community has been set abuzz with a veritable firestorm of controversy. We interviewed a cross-section of local players about their feelings with respect to the changes, with reactions ranging from melancholy to sadistic glee.
Rules maven Melvin Brazinsky, certified Magic Rules Advisor and Level 1 Judge applicant, was in a state of panic not seen since he lost his inhaler.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” was the most intelligible comment to come from Brazinsky.
Johnny Gordano, on the other hand, had a complaint about the changes expressible in words, as opposed to heartrending cries of rage and grief. Carefully storing two Burning Wishes, a Mirari, a Leyline of the Void, and a Walk the Aeons in his binder, he railed against what he called a “pointless dumbing-down.”
“Look at all of the functionality they’re removing! All the design space they’re closing up! Why, it’s an outrage! I shall have no part in this abomination!”
Reports that Gordano had traded for four Braid of Fire this very morning remain unconfirmed.
Some remained close-lipped about the entire situation.
“My mommy says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers” announced Timmy Jorgensen.
Spike Ferguson, notable local “pro” (9th place at Manitoba Regionals), was more noticeably sanguine about the changes.
“I guess as long as my opponents are denied the same tactical opportunities as I am, everything will be okay. Upkeep, Clique you?” Spike offered.
There were even some mildly enthusiastic responses to the changes.
“I DRINK THY MILKSHAKE, MELVIN!” exulted Vorthos Smith. Between sips of Melvin’s milkshake, he explained the reasons for his excitement.
“Forsooth and anon, these changes come as glad tidings,” babbled Vorthos.
“The sweet harmony of rules and flavor is a consummation I have devoutly wished!” he continued, badly mangling Shakespeare in the process.
“At last, the Wizard of the Coast doth listen to me, and he doth say ‘I hearest thou, Vorthos! Go forth and reign!'” he concluded. Our reporter at this point could not help but notice that he smelled of rotting bananas and self-abuse. He prayed these two smells were not linked.
“Perchance, hast thou seen mine robe and wizardly hat?”
Below: Melvin’s reaction to the rules change.
