Unbelievable News 
Clinton Kicks Off MT2 Super Tuesday, Disintegrates
SAN FRANSISCO, Cal. – Hillary Clinton kicked off MiseTings2 Super Tuesday in a live press conference today. "All of the humor contest entries had been received and processed," she said. She announced and that the polls were now open for MT2 members to elect their favorite pieces of humorous content submitted throughout January.
As she spoke, her eyes began to well up with tears. "Sometimes it's a battle, you know, this whole contest thing," she said, her voice wavering. "Waking up every day, knowing that, without any breaks, you have to bear the responsibilities of dealing with the stresses of the MT2 contest."
Her next sentence was cut short when she started to lose her voice. "Excuse me," she said. "My _____ has _____ coming _____ going." Then she began to cough repeatedly. She started to cry as she coughed. Fluids began to pour from every facial orifice as the coughing became increasingly violent. She fell off of her chair and onto the ground. Her coughing became more infrequent as her body spasmed. Reporters backed away as a liquid pool expanded around her. When the press conference ended, what had once been Hillary Clinton was now just clothing and water upon the ground.
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