Category: contest

  • HardCORE! THEROS Strategy Primer for Prereleasing LIKE MEN!

    This article is a $200 Summer Contest entry. The submission period has ended. Click here for more information.

    Note: Due to some scheduling issues, this article is being published late. You will have to envision a parallel world in which the prerelease has not yet occurred. Our apologies to Jethro, and when the contest vote happens, let us make sure to evaluate the article in a “timely” mindset.



    HI! I’m new to strategy writing, I’m an old fashioned pro-player; I like my cards unstamped and my drafts rotisserie. I’ve been playing since the 80’s back when Magic was HARDCORE: Don’t like It: SUCK IT! And by it I mean Magic. Wanna Be a great player, Wanna make the Pro-Tour? You can’t! Not with that attitude. My Magic training is the best there is and it’s not cheap and it is nasty and I don’t take wannabee’s! SO BUCKLE UP.

    My Name’s Jethro, and if you want to not SUCK IT(And By IT I STILL MEAN MAGIC!) this is what you should be reading: Ready?

    STEP 1: DRAFT LIKE A MAN!

    Quick what’s the first pick from this pack!















    Quicker than that you’ve only got 38 seconds left to make this decision. Why 37? ’cause you spent the fist minute reading the introduction to this article. C’mon now 20 seconds!

    .
    .
    .

    WRONG!

    You made the wrong decision and Now you’re going to lose. Your dreams will be crushed by some NOOB in the first round who taps his lands in different directions and isn’t EVEN using sleeves. Is that the Kinda Magic player you WANT to be: IS IT? Because Noone and I mean Noone has ever had fun LOSING MAGIC! Oh they might say they had fun, they might offer their hand and say it was a ‘good game’: know what I do to losers who say good game, I punch them in the Mouth That’s what! And If I get disqualified by some Bastard Judge who’s got pimples and massive glasses: GOOD! Because I’ve opened such a terrible pack remaining in this tournament is a waste of time. That’s your first lesson Write it down, while I drink whisky and invent STEP 2!

    Lesson 1: If you open a pack THIS BAD the best thing to do is quit and join another Queue.

    STEP 2: IF IT LOOKS LIKE A FISH AND MOVES LIKE A FISH: HIT IT WITH A HAMMER.

    Quick! Look at this card from Theros and evaluate it for limited play:

    Quicker than that! Is that how slow you’re going to evaluate cards in your pre-release sealed?!?!’Cause you’ve got over 100 cards to evaluate and if you go that slowly you won’t have time to submit a deck and will be disqualified from the Pro tour: TRUE STORY! [1]

    Anyway, back to the card at hand. The correct answer (Once you finally got there, well done genius Clap Clap) is that no card in limited can be evaluated in a vacuum, every card has other cards it DEPENDS on, for instance this Card depends on 3 lands to cast it: Rubbish! 1 card depending on 3 cards; lands are for NOOBS throw it on the scrapheap.

    THAT’S your second lesson: Why aren’t you already writing it down whilst I drink Whisky and Think about TITS!

    Lesson 2: Lands are for Noobs: Real men just play there cards and hope noone notices That’s how things were back in my day. [2]

    STEP 3: INTERLUDE!

    IF I could rant for a second: ELSPETH IS WEARING TO MANY CLOTHES IN THIS ART!

    You call that body armor?!? This is Body Armor:

    Oh YEAH!

    STEP 4: THE VISUAL SPOILER!

    Some (idiots mostly) say that you should always religiously study the visual spoiler before taking part in a Pre-release in order to play around Tricks and removal your opponent might have. This is Nonsense. After all, knowing every trick isn’t important, you just need to know the ones ACTUALLY in your opponents hand.

    Doing this can be tricky, and my methods vary; the secret is to never use the same TRICK twice; or three times if you’re drunk enough; always try to isolate your opponent from their hand, ask THEM to go get a judge to answer your question, the second they look away: start riffling through their cards. Hell if there’s enough time you can even start going through their deck to see what goodies lie there; and if you’re caught just claim it’s your own deck and put it on top of yours, then get them disqualified for Rules Infraction: ‘Not having a deck!’ (This REALLY works) [3]

    That’s your fifth lesson: write it down while I drink WHISKY and meditate on the complexities of the human condition, and how love, kindness and respect are the keys to a satisfied existence!

    Lesson 5: Always know your enemies (hand) intimately!

    SUMMING UP!

    Don’t read articles telling you how to be a great magic player; written by so called “’Pro’s’”. There’s only one trick to becoming a GREAT player and it rhymes with Whisky!

    Enjoy losing to me at the pre-release Fuckers,

    Jethro

    [1] [Ed: Jethro was disqualified from the Pro-Tour in 1996 for what the judge called “The most blatant, obvious and obnoxious cheating I have ever seen a player commit.” when whilst ‘shuffleing’ his opponents library, he went through it for all the non-lands and pocketed them.]

    [2] [Ed: It is believed Jethro is here referring to his second appearance on the Pro-Tour where he piloted affinity; he is famous for receiving more warnings and committing more infractions at this pro-tour than any player in history; including a warning for unsportsmanlike conduct when he set his opponents deck on fire. The head judge confesses that this should have been a disqualification but he was fascinated to “See what Jethro would do next.”]

    [3] [Ed: Jethro is talking about an incident at his third and final appearance at a Pro-Tour or indeed any competitive Magic event. He was placed 403rd despite there being only 351 players because, as one judge put it, “Get him out of here, get him out now.” When asked about the incident afterwards, he described himself as “The people’s Champion” for having shown up without qualification and playing under an assumed DCI number.]





  • Summer Contest Announcement! (Actual Prizers!)


    (Submitted material does not need to be about Theros.)

  • Build-a-Bear Games Workshop

    The Empire of Man’s quartermasters know that the grim darkness of the 40th millennium can get awfully lonely, not to mention dangerous. That’s why our special unit lets you create a customized lovable little companion to provide friendship and suppressing fire when you need them most. In fact, we offer such a wide variety of potential combinations, that some find assembling the right one daunting. That’s why this guide is here to help you through each station.

    Race

    In addition to earth bears, several types of deadly predators from other worlds are available to base your cuddly warrior on. However, you should be aware that all non-bear choices are blasphemous, and will result in you being immediately handed over to the inquisition.

    Heart

    The first and most important step to creating your adorable homonculus is to write your true name and a rune of command on a heart, and sew it into its chest. This will serve to animate it and bind it to you. It will also help it remain steadfast and true when it is faced with the harsh realities of combat, and the even harsher unrealities of the warp.

    Weapon

    Your little familiar’s weapon is his most important tool, and must be selected with care. So be sure to carefully weigh the pros and cons of each before choosing between the machine gun with flamethrower mode and under-barrel energy chainsaw, and the energy chainsaw with side-mounted flamethrower and machine gun.

    Armor

    A suit of power armor is essential in ensuring that your fluffy friend retains its grotesque parody of life. It provides head-to-toe coverage, but provides special protection for the construct’s notoriously vulnerable shoulders. Shoulder armor defaults to Maximo Supreme but for a manageable surcharge can be upgraded to Uber Grande or even Ultra Platinum which is guaranteed to stop even the most devastating shoulder-seeking missiles.

    Accessories

    Once his armor is in place, you can choose to further adorn your bear buddy with packets of crosses, holy texts, and spikes. But what isn’t optional is decorating him with tiny ursine skulls. We recommend a belt of skulls, a medallion of skulls and liberal skull placement about the armor, but in case that’s not enough, we also offer a procedure to graft extra skulls to its skull.

    Paint

    Let’s be honest, you’re just gonna leave the little guy black or silver.

    Message

    Finally, you can record a custom battle cry for your fuzzy wingman to memorize and shout at his enemies. Or you can settle for a half-hearted prerecorded option such as “I’m pretty sure the Emperor will return, sooner or later” or “Cleanse all the heretics you can easily locate with fire.”

    Sure, you could probably put this all together yourself cheaper without coming to us, but it just wouldn’t be the same…somehow.

  • Summer of Emilevin’ (contest)

    Emilevin’, \ˌěm-əl-‘ěv-ən\ (n.)

    1. Hanging out while playing the Magic 2011 Core set.

    2. Relaxin’. Chillaxin’. Warlord’s Axein’.

    3. Friends, Magic cards, and 40s of 211.

    People employ many different strategies to beat the summer heat. But nothing’s more refreshing than popping open a crisp, ice-cold booster pack of M11. To celebrate the great tasting, less filling new Core set, we’re having another content contest.

    Contest


    Every piece of humorous and/or awesome content you submit between now and the end of AUGUST is automatically entered, whether it be fake cards, funny articles, or even set reviews and tournament reports.

    • Submitted content doesn’t have to be about M11 stuff!
    • You can submit multiple items over the duration of the contest!

    Wow!

    How Do I Submit an Entry?


    I’m pleased you asked. Please take a look at these instructions.

    Two Ways to Win!

    The total prize pool consists of a BOOSTER BOX of M11 and a BOOSTER BOX of Rise of the Eldrazi. There are two ways to win packs from this pool: weekly Best Content Item awards, and final Best Overall Contributor awards.


    FIRST WAY TO WIN: Weekly Awards

    Each week during the contest, the Good Gamery community will vote on which single ITEM was the best ITEM of the week.

    Week 1 (July 18-24): 3 booster packs

    Week 2 (July 25-31): 3 booster packs

    Week 3 (August 1-7): 3 booster packs

    Week 4 (August 8-14): 3 booster packs

    Week 5 (August 15-21): 3 booster packs

    Week 6 (August 22+): 3 booster packs


    Each winner may decide his or her ratio of M11 to RoE packs.

    SECOND WAY TO WIN: Final Awards

    At the end of the contest, the Good Gamery community will vote on who were the best CONTRIBUTORS to the overall contest. In the past, this has generally been determined by quality, but quantity can help, too.

    First, we’ll have a vote that narrows it down to the top 3. Then, we’ll have a run-off vote to determine the order of the top 3.

    1st place: 24 booster packs

    2nd place: 18 booster packs

    3rd place: 12 booster packs


    Each winner may decide his or her ratio of M11 to RoE packs from the remaining prize pool (1st picks first, etc.).

    Get involved! Team up!

    Need ideas? Don’t know how to make cards? Want to collaborate on one or more items (and work out any prize splits for the weeklies yourselves)? Get on Java chat! Get into the contest thread and post! Everyone is welcome to participate. And even if you don’t win, you’ll always get constructive feedback to help you for next time.

    How Do I Submit an Entry, Again?


    Alright, one more time. Please take a look at these instructions.

    The Ultimate Emilevin’


    Soon after the contest ends, the biggest event of the summer begins: GGC 2010! Make your way to Portland, OR USA to attend GP Portland on the weekend of September 11, 2010, and you’ll simultaneously attend the Good Gamery Convocation!

    GP events during the day, tabletop gaming and partying at night.

    M11. 211. September 11.

    (remember to snag a shirt in time for the event)

  • Good Gamery Zendikar Release Contest

    lol


    Deadly perils, priceless treasures, floating coconuts!

    The new Magic: The Gathering set, Zendikar, is pouring one out for its homies . . . and for High Adventure!!

    lol


    Contest

    To start an adventure of our own, we are holding a contest. Every Officially Acknowledged Content you create and submit between now and the end of OCTOBER is automatically entered, and every participant is eligible to receive prizes. At the end of OCTOBER, everyone on the GoodGamery.com forums will vote for their four favorite contributors, whether they contributed fake cards, funny articles, or even set reviews and tournament reports. Once a top four is decided, there will be a runoff to determine which of the four top contributors gets the top prizes.

    Prizes

    • 1st place: 18 Zendikar boosters
    • 2nd place: 9 Zendikar boosters
    • 3rd place: 6 Zendikar boosters
    • 4th place: 3 Zendikar boosters

    Priceless Prizes for Participation (P3)

    In addition to this, every participant who creates at least one piece of Officially Acknowledged Content will receive Legendary, Priceless Hidden Treasures! These may or may not be 2 packs of random sets from Magic’s mysterious history, and they may or may not be available while supplies last. The Peril!

    How do I submit an entry?

    Please take a look at these instructions.

    Tips

    Here is a link to the Zendikar Visual Spoiler, which will aid you in your quest to create Officially Acknowledged Content. It has all the Equipment you’ll need to complete your quest (plus Lands, Creatures, Enchantments, Instants, Sorceries, etc. etc.).

    Your adventure begins now! The Zendikards await!

  • Alara Reborn Contest: Voting

    ( Contest anouncementAll contest entries )

    The Alara Reborn contest is now over! Take a look over the submissions to remember the good times, and then head into the discussion thread to vote for your favorites. If you were a participant, remember to contact me so that you may claim your participation packs.

    And now, on with the contestants (in alphabetic order):

    Basilisk:

    Wizard Energy Beverages by Basilisk

    Ein:

    Oil // Emulsion // Water by Ein

    Encrypted Command by Ein

    Metrognomes by Ein

    Gasface:

    Breaking Triple ARB Draft: Aggro Jund Cascade by Gasface

    GyantSpyder:

    Lord of Jund to Nationalize Dragons by GyantSpyder

    JSexton:

    Unbelievable News by JSexton with images by Basilisk

    NicotineJones:

    NJ’s Alara Reborn Capsule Review by NicotineJones

    Ozymandias:

    Uril, the Miststalker: A Creepy Thing Not from Grixis by ozymandias

    Paz:

    What Magic Color are You, You Moron? by Paz

    Regionals Turbo Fog Players Regret Decision by Paz

    Choose Your Own Alara by Paz

    Prolepsis:

    Hypergenesis Combo in Classic by Prolepsis

    Sam111111:

    Dr. Hisoka: “Magic Players are Losers” by Sam111111

    Slearch:

    Magical Cards Facebook Feed by slearch with contributions from Basilisk and Skeletor

    Skeletor:

    GoodGamery News – May 2009 by Skeletor

    GoodGamery News – The Unexpected Malfegor Paradox by Skeletor

    Click on the link below to go vote for your favorites.

  • Alara Reborn Contest

    What happens when a plane of predators collides with four planes of prey?

    This is a question you might ask yourself, if you are reading aloud the flavor text for the new Magic: The Gathering set, Alara Reborn!

    Contest

    To commemorate this rebirth, we are holding a contest. Every Officially Acknowledged Content you create and submit starting now and during the month of May, 2009 is automatically entered in the contest, and every participant is eligible to receive valuable prizes. At the end of May, everyone on the GoodGamery.com forums will vote for their four favorite contributors, whether they contributed fake cards, funny articles, or even set reviews and tournament reports. Once a top four is decided, there will be a runoff to determine which of the four top contributors gets the top prizes.

    Prizes

    1st place: 18 Alara Reborn boosters

    2nd place: 9 Alara Reborn boosters

    3rd place: 6 Alara Reborn boosters

    4th place: 3 Alara Reborn boosters

    In addition to this, every participant who creates at least one piece of Officially Acknowledged Content will recieve 2 Alara Reborn boosters, as long as supplies last. This includes the top 4 winners!

    How do I submit an entry?

    Please take a look at these instructions.

    Tips

    Here is a link to the Alara Reborn Visual Spoiler, which will aid you in your quest to create Officially Acknowledged Content. There are plenty of good ideas in there!

  • Good Gamery St. Patrick’s Day Contest


    Greetings :vulcan hand greeting:. My name is Spock, of the Vulcan race. I am from the 23rd century — the Year of Our Lord 2295, to be exact. That’s correct. I am… from the future.

    I have boldly come to this time, in the distant past, for I am on a mission. That mission is to travel to 1930s Dublin, to be painted by Harry Kernoff in a piece entitled “A Bird Never Flew on One Wing.” If I do not create a casual explanation for this anomalous painting, we’ll be stuck in a doomed tangent universe a la Donnie Darko. It also, logically, sounds like a raging fun way to spend St. Patrick’s Day.

    Along the way, however, I intend to help Good Gamery spoil the contents of this fall’s Magic: The Gathering block, nicknamed “Live/Long/Prosper.”

    See that temporal anomaly over there? Right there :points at the wall:. I invite all to enter into it and travel to the future, for this anomaly is a portal into the future. There you will extract information about this fall’s block. You may write your own report. Or you might brave the labyrinthine depths of magicthegathering.com to extract articles. Either way, you will return and submit this content to he who is the head administrator at Good Gamery, via forum PM (“paz”) or via gmail (“extremestan”). Logically, you may even submit multiple items.

    (In other words, this contest asks that you submit humorous content regarding the cards, flavor, or development of this fall’s block, currently known only as “Live/Long/Prosper.”


    Or, you know, you can write about something else that’s funny or strategic. That’ll count too.)


    The persons who accomplish this task most excellently, as voted upon by their peers, will receive material compensation. This is, I hear, what compels people in this primitive age.

    • 1st place: Three “Shards of Alara” boosters and one of “Tezzeret, the Seeker,” “Birds of Paradise,” “Burning Wish,” or “Living Wish
    • 2nd place: Three “Shards of Alara” boosters and one of the remaining three of the above cards
    • 3rd place: Three “Shards of Alara” boosters and one of the remaining two of the above cards
    • 4rd place: Three “Shards of Alara” boosters and the remaining card of the above cards

    There’s one catch. Logically, every time this content is published, the future will be altered. Thus, published items may not be consistent with one another. And this content is not predestined to be related to your science fiction mythos “Star Trek,” of which I know nothing. Though it can possibly be related. I am uncertain.

    Logically, it’s time for you to enter the temporal anomaly and submit some content. The contest will end around St. Patrick’s Day, with submitted content being published all along the way. Take heed when I say that the state of the universe is depending on you taking part, for better or for worse, logically.




    (Discuss this item in the forum!)