Hard Kor Badass 
Good Gamery News – November 2008
Casual Player Sick of Playing Against Elves
When asked about his Casual Extended Game message “No Elves, No Dragons; Only Discard, LD, Counters or other interesting decks pls”, Magic Online User darkraistlin13 was unrepentant.
“I just find it stupid and pointless to play against the same deck over and over again” he said. “Don’t these players have any sense of fun or originality? I play Magic for fun, and getting killed on the second turn every game before I’ve had a chance to use my Cancels and Stone Rains isn’t fun. I mean, who finds playing with Elves and Dragons enjoyable anyway?”
“It’s getting to the point where I will concede if my opponent plays a basic Forest on the first turn.”
Secret Magic Online Programming Credits List Found
As first reported by ModoSharks, the programming credits list is stored on every computer on which Magic Online is installed. For many, the contents of the list were mostly expected.
“I’ve suspected for a while that a motherfucker, a shithead, and a sonofabitch have had a hand in programming v3,” noted online magician Aziridine said. “It’s no surprise to me that cannabis was involved either.”
When asked if there were any surprises on the list, he responded affirmatively.
“Surprises? Yeah, there were a few,” Aziridine said. “For instance, I would have bet like 5tix that there would be at least one retard credited in there. Most shocking to me was that something as wonderful as boobies could have had anything to do with writing this program.”
“Planeswalker Deck” Tears Up States, Old-School Player Rolls Eyes
News of a new “Planeswalker Deck” similar to the one piloted by Themistoklis Panagiotaras to victory at Missouri Champs has changed the way many are thinking about the standard metagame. At least one player, however, is unimpressed.
Rick Dustington of Seattle, upon hearing news of this exciting new deck, visibly scoffed. “A what deck? Shit, in my day something like that wouldn’t have gotten past the second round. First of all no one played Plains. Sure, Islandwalkers were a good choice if they were efficient enough. But Plainswalkers? Sheesh.”
“And even if someone was dumb enough to play Plains, they had tons of ways to deal with Plainswalkers” he continued. “Heck, they had Wrath of God, Swords to Plowshares, and if things got really hairy, Great Wall. Players these days must be really unresourceful to let something like that get the better of them.”