Good Gamery

Category: gg news

  • YOU MAKE THE SET 2016: HOW EVERY CARD BECAME STORM CROW

    Aaron Forsythe
    Aaron Forsythe

    We at Wizards of the Coast feel we owe the players of Magic: the Gathering a formal apology for the events of the last few months, and would like to take the time now to do so. We’ll also take a look ahead, to help you prepare for an announcement at the end of this article.

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    What Happened

    Having reached out previously to outside companies such as Microprose and Stainless Games for help in creating new and interactive ways to play Magic: the Gathering, we decided to team up with the guys at Twitch to offer a once-in-a-lifetime experience to all the fans across the world who invest so much time and money into our game: we would let you, the fans, build a set; that set would become You Make the Set 2016.

    We announced a partnership with Twitch wherein we would utilize the Magic the Gathering: Online servers during a scheduled downtime to host the vote, and Twitch would handle the traffic from viewers and from players who used the stream’s chat feature to vote. If you haven’t seen the video yet, viewers could submit to the chat a number and a card in order to replace the card which was assigned to a particular slot in the list. There were 249 slots, which we filled with 249 basic lands in order to give players a clean slate.

    It took about five minutes for the entire chart to be replaced with individual cards, but we had planned for the event to last 24 hours, so now the competition would begin. Cards were being cut left and right, most of which were dragons submitted by one particularly eager voter. The major cuts would happen in certain categories: after dragons, land destruction and counters were the next to go, followed by many of the game-ending cards and global removal spells. After about seven hours, the argument became about whether Avatar of Might or Plague Wind should occupy slot #64, and we fell asleep at our desks.

    We awoke after a short, accidental nap to discover Tarmogoyf and Storm Crow as the only two cards in the entire list, fighting back and forth over dominance over every slot. Three factions had arisen among the forums and the stream chat: those who wanted cheap Tarmogoyfs; those who were trolling with whatever option they found funnier; and those who opposed the idea of a democratically-created set and wanted to destroy the system, so they voted for Storm Crow. There were enough participants voting back and forth that the thread itself had slowed to a crawl, posts disappearing almost as soon as they had been made; a five-second lag time was activated by the server to allow itself time to process. The list was changing constantly, every player fighting a total war against the opposing side for a completely pointless fight; after all, the set wouldn’t complete until all the slots were unique. So we thought.

    We were wrong. For a split second, every item on the list was one card. The feed cut off immediately, and the servers exploded in a blast of blue electricity, knocking all but one of us out of our seats. An acrid smoke emanated from our screens, which was not the smoke of damaged equipment, but of some sort of … I can only describe it as an “evil” essence. Even if we had wanted to take on what was apparently an apparition of Satan himself crossing into our realm to ensure agony and torture be visited upon us, I don’t think any of us were in any way up to the task. It was though we had opened the door to Hell, but instead of Hell, it was a door to a room full of blue fliers for 1U.

    In hindsight, Magic: the Gathering Online is not well-known for its stability. We were not as surprised when we found ourselves asking the only one of us still in their seat, Worth Wollpert, if he had any idea what had happened; he replied with an exaggerated shrug and a dry, “yeah, that happens.”

    A few minutes passed before we were able to discover the truth of what happened. The smoke had cleared, the vote was over, and the players had voted for You Make the Set 2016 to be 249 copies of Storm Crow.

    What Are We Doing About It?

    Legal informed us that even though they had not planned for such an event, they nonetheless had to honor their contract with Twitch in that the set would be printed as-is once the voting period ended. They informed us that having the system literally destroy itself was about as close to a “dead run” as we could have achieved, and one of Legal’s nephews explained what that meant. Accounting said it would be too expensive to run another event like this. Our hands were literally tied. That was a weird meeting with Legal, come to think of it – like, not weirder than their usual, but –

    Oh, Legal also informed us that we have to do a week of spoilers, even though we just told you what the entire set is. If you’ve visited noted rumor site MTG Salvation in the last week, it’s been all the forums are discussing. We are officially confirming this rumor, along with the previously-announced announcement that is coming later.

    So, Let’s Talk About Storm Crow.

    Pros of Storm Crow over Tarmogoyf:

    1. Storm Crow is blue.
    2. Storm Crow has flying.
    3. Storm Crow starts at +1/+1 bigger than Tarmogoyf.

    Cons of Storm Crow over Tarmogoyf:

    1. Storm Crow stays small.
    2. Storm Crow can’t feed a Skullclamp.
    3. Storm Crow can’t be fetched with Green Sun’s Zenith.

    No Refunds

    Well, that does it for our preview card for today! Stay tuned all week for more hot and spicy spoilers as we dig into the sixteen new arts (and the ones we brought back), and be sure to click the sidebar for info on where to play a Release Event near you!

    WE’RE
    SORRY

    P.S. Here’s that announcement we mentioned at the beginning:

    We are inserting exactly seven copies of Storm Crow with foil backs into packs. These were made as a print error, but we thought they came out kind of cool and would be interesting, plus it’s not as if anyone’s going to actually buy packs of this for any other reason. Further announcement about these foils to follow the release of the set. Happy hunting!

    -Aaron

  • Card of the Year: Incite


  • Eldrazi Infant Mortality Rate Alarmingly High

    A study published in this month’s issue of The Journal Dominarian Alchemy finds that 97.6% of eldrazi spawn do not survive infancy. Here to explain this shocking statistic is lead researcher Figdab Bibblebob.

    The greatest obstacle to a new eldrazi’s survival is his species’ peculiar choice of spawning grounds. While the fossil record indicates that in ages past they were allowed some time to develop their skills in play, they are now birthed directly onto a battlefield.

    This practice has proved sustainable for groups with hardier young, such as the kraken genus. Eldrazi young however have almost no combat capabilities and no way to evade or shroud themselves from more dangerous creatures.

    Most of the deaths we recorded weren’t even from intentional attacks on the spawn though. They have a dreadful lack of situational awareness, and were often seen wandering in front of all manner of beasts, knights, and demons that were charging at someone else entirely. It was such a common occurrence that my team started joking that the safest place to be in a fight was directly behind the nearest eldrazi cub.

    We didn’t just learn that they were helpless and oblivious though. They are also incredibly nutritious and tasty, based on the numbers we saw devoured. Their blood is also considered a delicacy in vampire high society, and some of this group was poached to satisfy that lucrative market.

    Perhaps the most ironic factor though is that several primitive cultures surrounding their native habitat have taken to sacrificing them in intricate rituals designed to summon the adult eldrazi to their side to hopefully do their bidding. When the unfortunate spawn in question’s progenitors show up to kill everyone involved, it just reinforces that the ritual works.

    Despite all this, I still hold out some hope for this majestic and horrible race. Some activist artificers have laid out plans to provide the spawn with armor, gliders, and most importantly maps to help them survive long enough to get somewhere less lethal to stay until they’ve grown self-sufficient. Also, while this particular survey is dire, there may be some comfort in its 2.5% margin of error.

  • Memnarch to Face Trade Descriptions Lawsuit

    GALDROON PALACE, MIRRODIN – Eccentric artificer Memnarch is due to appear in interplanar court after a number of Zendikari mages lodged complaints that they had been mislead regarding a new spell. The dispute appears to have arisen over Memnarch’s attempts to corner the leveling-up market.

    “I’d heard about powerleveling from a friend of a friend,” one lighthouse chronologist told GoodGamery.com. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how difficult it is getting up to level seven on a plane like Zendikar, so I thought I’d try one out – not that they came cheap, mind you.”

    Leveler
    “[It] looked like a Juggernaut to me.”
    says one victim.

    But this curious wizard was in for a nasty surprise. “When I cast the spell, this thing – looked like a Juggernaut to me, but I didn’t get a good look at it – just shows up and eats my entire lighthouse. It was the lighthouse that my father guarded, and his father before him, and now I can’t even Recall it back!”

    Over in Guul Draz, a young assassin was having similar problems. “I’d just learned to Disfigure, and I having a kind of a party to celebrate. My friends said they’d picked up this spell that would allow them to Death Pulse, and, you know – I didn’t know if it was safe, but I didn’t want to look like a pussy. So they used this spell, and – the entire house is gone. My parents are gonna kill me.”

    Flyers have been put up around the Cliffhaven area warning knights against using spells that may have come from Mirrodin, and a new magic security awareness program has been introduced in schools. “Times are dangerous enough as it is without these unreliable spells going off,” said a pair of local Kor Sanctifiers. “Whoever is selling this stuff ought to be ashamed.”

    The ‘powerlevel’ magic has been linked back to Memnarch, the controversial Mirrodin Premier. A spokesmyr for the Panopticon had this to say: “The spells that were sold to fleshy Zendikari mages were exactly as described. Any miscommunication that may have occured was not the fault of the immaculate Watcher.”

    Memnarch will appear at the Tower of the Magistrate next week before a Soulsworn Jury, but he is expected to pay W to return the Conviction to its owner’s hand.

  • Four Dead in Expedition Tragedy

    ZENDIKAR – Jwari Shapeshifter, well known for boasting that “the best expedition would be an entire team of me,” set out on Tuesday with three fellow shapeshifters on a quest to find the Gravelord in an attempt to prove this boast.

    Tragedy struck the team of allies, when upon entering the battlefield, all four were placed into the graveyard as a state-based effect. Witnesses reported the Jwari looking around helplessly before immediately falling to the ground.

    “They all had Adventuring Gear, and they had the help of an Expedition Map, so it wasn’t like they came unprepared,” said a nearby Eternal Witness. “They just didn’t have a chance to respond.”

    On a lighter note, the Jwari Shapeshifters were successful in thier quest despite the personal setbacks – a 5/5 zombie giant calling himself “The Gravelord” has recently begun terrorizing a local village.

  • GG News: Elder Dragon Unable to Stop Man on Horse

    Noted Elder Dragon Legend Vaevictis Asmadi is accustomed to being the big bad ruler of the battlefield.

    But with the release of Master’s Edition III on Magic Online, he has been facing down some foes unlike any he’s seen before. Vaevictis was reached in his volcanic lair to describe one such encounter.

    “When I first saw it I thought, ‘no big deal’ – just looked like your garden variety Tarpan or whatever. I figured I would just fly down there, break every bone in its body, roast it in my polychromatic flame, and devour its earthly form and ethereal soul,” he said.

    But as what we know now as Shu Cavalry got closer and closer, eyewitness reports indicate that the venerable dragon’s grin slowly disappeared, beads of sweat the size of Muck Drubbs began to form on his brow, and 3 of his 7 testicles receded in an unprecedented display of terror.

    “I was like ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT’, you know? There was a horse, right, but there was a GUY RIDING IT,” he recounted, visibly shaking at the memory.

    “A GUY. Riding A HORSE,” he continued.

    As the Cavalry drew near only one thing was clear to the great Scourge of All That Lives.

    “There was no way I could go down there to stop it. Nuh-uh. NOOOOOO WAY.”

    “I mean are you even listening to me? HE WAS RIDING A HORSE. I mean, shit man.”

  • GG News: Bomb Scares Uncommon on the 10th Floor of the M Building

    Recent bomb scares on the 10th floor in the venerable M building have many of the workers there worried.

    Willis Ramo is head of security for the building and says that scares such as these, though uncommon, are nothing new to the building. As such, he claims, his staff is well prepared to deal with such threats.

    “The key thing for my men is to be alert, and that starts with a good Sleep,” Willis said. “Then if a crisis hits, like a Fireball suddenly ripping through the building, they have enough Control of their Mind to not be Overrun with emotions and effectively get all the civilians out of Harm’s Way,” he continued.

    “Serra Angel,” he added.

    When asked about what measures he has in place, Willis could not go into specifics citing security concerns, but did offer one tidbit. “You know, between you and me,” Willis said while leaning in and lowering his voice, “this isn’t even the 10th floor! We put a big M10 placard over the 11th floor sign to throw ’em off!”.

  • Good Gamery News – December 2008

    Hasbro Executive Points at Graph

    As the latest rumour season heats up, details of a Conflux planning meeting involving a highly placed Hasbro executive are starting to come to light. According to an inside source, the meeting was brief and gave the dev team a very clear direction.

    “The meeting started off very typically, with Randy and Mark trying to see who could blow spitballs through straws up their nose the farthest,” the source said, “but then one of the rarely-seen big bosses barged in and started yelling at us, talking about sagging profits and stuff.”

    “He was quite fat,” the source added.

    Those present were given more than a tounge-lashing, however. “He had this big graph of company revenue from like ’98 onwards. He pointed at a spike at September 2000 and said ‘Do you nerdy $#%!s see this? Just do whatever you did here’.” September 2000 is when Wizards of the Coast released the Invasion expansion.

    “At first we were just going to reprint everything, even the cards we printed the first time just to hose Rebels and Port. We instead decided to split the cards up over two smaller expansions as this gave us more time to find names for the cards whose flavour didn’t make sense any more. I mean, can you believe that we haven’t had a card called ‘Goblin Outlander’ yet? Discoveries like these take time.”

    Wizards to Release “From the Vault: Disenchants” in Time for Valentines Day

    Hot on the heels of its wildly sucessful “From the Vault: Dragons” boxed set, Wizards of the Coast has announced “From the Vault: Disenchants”. This limited edition boxed set will feature 15 all-foil cards with the ability to destroy target artifact or enchantment. See the announcement page for more details.

    Deck Validation Problems Continue to Plague MTGO

    Many MTGO players attempting to enter Standard tournaments with completely legal decks this weekend were met with a “Deck Not Valid” message. After much speculation as to the cause, Wizards has released a statement on their MTGO messageboard claiming the problem has to do with basic lands.

    “Right now we are having a server-side issue with Standard deck validation, specifically decks with basic lands in them. As of now, any deck containing basic lands is being rejected as invalid by the system,” the post by representative WotC_Mike read. “Devs are working on a fix, but players should know it’s not a huge priority for us. The format is still playable in its current state and honestly we have more pressing issues.” He went on to say it may take “a couple weeks or more” for the issue to be resolved.

    This is the second time in as many months that MTGO has had deck validation problems. Last month some legal Prismatic decks were being rejected by the system as invalid due to a problem in dealing with split cards such as Fire/Ice. As of publishing this issue also remains unresolved

  • Good Gamery News – November 2008

    Casual Player Sick of Playing Against Elves

    When asked about his Casual Extended Game message “No Elves, No Dragons; Only Discard, LD, Counters or other interesting decks pls”, Magic Online User darkraistlin13 was unrepentant.

    “I just find it stupid and pointless to play against the same deck over and over again” he said. “Don’t these players have any sense of fun or originality? I play Magic for fun, and getting killed on the second turn every game before I’ve had a chance to use my Cancels and Stone Rains isn’t fun. I mean, who finds playing with Elves and Dragons enjoyable anyway?”

    “It’s getting to the point where I will concede if my opponent plays a basic Forest on the first turn.”

    Secret Magic Online Programming Credits List Found

    As first reported by ModoSharks, the programming credits list is stored on every computer on which Magic Online is installed. For many, the contents of the list were mostly expected.

    “I’ve suspected for a while that a motherfucker, a shithead, and a sonofabitch have had a hand in programming v3,” noted online magician Aziridine said. “It’s no surprise to me that cannabis was involved either.”

    When asked if there were any surprises on the list, he responded affirmatively.

    “Surprises? Yeah, there were a few,” Aziridine said. “For instance, I would have bet like 5tix that there would be at least one retard credited in there. Most shocking to me was that something as wonderful as boobies could have had anything to do with writing this program.”

    “Planeswalker Deck” Tears Up States, Old-School Player Rolls Eyes

    News of a new “Planeswalker Deck” similar to the one piloted by Themistoklis Panagiotaras to victory at Missouri Champs has changed the way many are thinking about the standard metagame. At least one player, however, is unimpressed.

    Rick Dustington of Seattle, upon hearing news of this exciting new deck, visibly scoffed. “A what deck? Shit, in my day something like that wouldn’t have gotten past the second round. First of all no one played Plains. Sure, Islandwalkers were a good choice if they were efficient enough. But Plainswalkers? Sheesh.”

    “And even if someone was dumb enough to play Plains, they had tons of ways to deal with Plainswalkers” he continued. “Heck, they had Wrath of God, Swords to Plowshares, and if things got really hairy, Great Wall. Players these days must be really unresourceful to let something like that get the better of them.”




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