Lighthouse Scientists Prepare Large Hedron Collider

Posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 by paz
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TAZEEM, ZENDIKAR — The Large Hedron Collider was successfully loaded yesterday with a second White Mana Octahedron, say Lighthouse scientists.

The Octahedron, a whopping 5 zendi-meters in length, was placed in the hammer of the device located on the foothills of East Ulzhet. Its twin, installed last zendi-January, rests upon the woodlands of Hul’Morag.

The successful installation of the second hedron comes after the “Doom Quench” earlier this year, where a Black Mana Spheroid was loaded into the Collider with catastrophic results.

“Rather than smashing open the target hedron, the spheroid just exploded with swamp goo,” said Mituantir the Knowledgeable, project coordinator at Lighthouse. The spheroid was, it turned out, an ancient prison for a dark vampire lord prophesied to unite the vampire tribes in an apocalyptic conquest of the whole of Zendikar.

The stench of the goo lent weight the hypotheses of other merfolk scientists: that Black Mana Spheroids are the droppings of ancient, colossal zendi-bunnies.

“We’re past that now,” said Mituantir. “We’ve cleaned up the goo, and we hear there’s a prophecy about a destined Promised One who’ll take care of the dark vampire lord we unleashed.”

The goal of the Large Hedron Collider project is to smash open the target hedron and expose the contents within. Said Mituantir, “It’ll probably be the massive scalar elementary particle predicted to exist by the Zendard Model of particle physics: a Planeswalker spark.”

“The idea is to force a severe landfall using what amounts to an oversized zendi-mouse-trap,” said the goblin artificer Dromms, head engineer, who has allied with the merfolk for the duration of the project. “Hopefully we’ll progress enough on this quest to enable some beneficial effects.”

“Kicker,” he added.

The Large Hedron Collider is set to activate on zendi-November 1st, the day after thousands of little Korlings dress up in costumes and quest for zendikandy.