Gravecrawlers Refuse To Stand For Hymn To Tourach

Posted on Friday, October 6th, 2017 by A.J.Nagy
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Posted in mtg, News

Controversy is growing this week as more and more zombies are remaining on the ground during the traditional Hymn. We reached out to well known Necromancer and member of the Gatewatch, Liliana Vess:

“I am absolutely disgusted at this behavior. These mindless freaks don’t seem to appreciate all the empires that have fallen because of the Hymn. It is incredibly disrespectful for them to just drag themselves around looking for delicious brains while Hymn To Tourach is on the stack. It was bad enough before when they just refused to block, but this is the last straw. I am strongly considering replacing all of my Gravecrawlers with skeletons or ghosts if this continues.”

Gravecrawler first began his career six years ago. A strong showing as a rookie tapered off when his set rotated out of standard, and he has spent a lot of time on the bench in the last few seasons. Many fans are skeptical of the protest, saying it’s just a stunt for the fading star to try to reclaim the spotlight, however briefly. The prevailing opinion seems to be that Gravecrawler just doesn’t have the numbers to deserve a spot in any competitive decklists.

Gisa Cecani, a ghoulcaller from the plane of Innistrad, had a different view on the matter. “You have to understand, the Hymn doesn’t mean the same thing to Gravecrawlers that it does to us necromancers. Historically, Gravecrawlers have been the victims of discard, very often at the hands of people they thought they could trust. That’s something the average Lord of The Undead has never experienced. And it’s not like the Gravecrawlers are hurting anyone. They still do their job, attacking for two every turn, no matter how many times they get tackled.”

The Hymn To Tourach has a storied history, seeing play in many formats for as long as it has existed. A perennial favorite of Necromancers and Demonologists alike, it has until now demanded a great deal of respect. But recent criticism of randomness in Magic has set off a gravestorm of controversy, and it looks like the Hymn has taken the brunt of the abuse.

At a recent Legacy Grand Prix, an entire playset of Gravecrawlers took to the battlefield during a feature match, and not a single one of them stood for the Hymn. Players seem to be taking the controversy in stride, but fans are outraged, especially Liliana.

“Look. I would totally stop keeping watch over this if I could. But I took an oath. And, for as long as it’s convenient to me personally, I will take that oath seriously.”

Jace Beleren, an associate of Miss Vess; and Vraska the Unseen, another planeswalker familiar with Zombies, were mysteriously unable to be reached for comment.

When we finally tracked down a Gravecrawler and questioned him about his refusal to stand, he only had this to say: “This was never about the Hymn. I don’t have any legs.”