GG News: Elder Dragon Unable to Stop Man on Horse 
Aether Prices Skyrocket As Skysovereign Continues To Block Planar Canal
We’re entering day five of the shipping crisis on Kaladesh, where a combination of aether tradewinds and being crewed by an elephant have led to Skysovereign, the flagship of the consulate, becoming stuck in one of the plane’s major shipping routes. Millions of mana are being wasted every day as other vehicles are forced to take alternate routes to deliver their cargo of masterpieces to this years inventor’s fair.
“This is absolutely unacceptable” explained a local aetherborn businessman who prefers to remain anonymous. “If I had known this would happen, I would have just taken the shatter when I looked at the top four cards of my opponent’s library.”
Dozens of bazaar barges attempted to jostle the ship out of the deadlock grid it was trapped in, but with little success. The weight of the cargo on board, to say nothing of the increasingly rowdy elephant, makes the massive dreadnaught nearly immobile. To make matters worse, the ship was built with a special aetherbolt launching prow, designed to deal three damage to a creature or planeswalker, which has become firmly embedded in the side of the canal. Previously, a fleet of copters were present to escort large ships through the passageway, but their bans in multiple formats left massive vehicles like Skysovereign attempting to navigate alone, with predictable results.
With no answers on Kaladesh, several planeswalkers were brought in to provide outside advice. Karn offered to turn the ship into a creature, but with an ample supply of elephants, golems, and wurms available, that option had already been tried. Garruk Wildspeaker absconded with the pachyderm crewman, and Chandra Nalaar, a Kaladesh native, went into a sulk when told that ‘set the canal on fire,’ ‘set the ship on fire,’ and ‘set the ship and the canal on fire’ were not currently options on the table.
A review of the Planar Positioning System data for the ship shows that, before ramming the ship into the soft earth of the canal bank, the elephant drove it in the open ocean in the pattern of two walnuts and a banana, signifying that it may have been preoccupied thinking about dinner when the accident occurred.