Author: basilisk

  • Players Await Final Set of Lorwyn Block

    With Lorwyn’s tribal theme proving popular to the masses, the end of the Morningtide pre-release left many players eager for more. Excitement is building among playgroups everywhere, and many player I’ve spoken to are already searching for places from which to preorder theme deck boxes from set three of Lorwyn Block.

    Alvin Rizell, self proclaimed “kind of pro, maybe if I had more time” player, says that his treefolk deck is already dominating his play group. “I can’t wait for the next set. I already have almost enough treefolk for this deck to be awesome, so one more set full of good treefolk like the ones in Morningtide should give me the best deck in the format, no doubt about it.”

    Local player Jason Bartholomew Tiggs, a longtime veteran of the prerelease and FNM 0-X brackets, also showed enthusiasm for the upcoming set. “With all the fun tribal interactions, it’s easy to not play any stupid instants or sorceries. I bet in the last set of this block we’ll have tribal creatures so that we don’t have to play dumb noncreature spells to give Tarmogoyf that extra +1/+1.”

    Bobby Limner, age 11, was overheard to say, between sips of Mountain Dew: “Playing with all these creature cards is great! I bet the next set in Lorwyn block will be all creatures, that would be cool, since it’s all tribal themed and stuff. I wonder why they’ve never done that before.”

    Yes, enthusiasm for the next set of magic is at a level nearly unheard of this early before it’s release. Only time will tell what surprise twist the end of the Lorwyn-Morningtide-???? trilogy holds, but the anticipation of it’s arrival is certainly infectious!

  • Arguing About Morningtide in Limited

    Ballyrush Banneret – 1W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    Kithkin spells and Soldier spells you play cost {1} less to play.
    2/1
    Illus. Ralph Horsley
    #1/150

    About the Bannerets in general: They're kind of like mana myr, except they don't color-fix and their mana is a little more restrictive? There is also the possibility of an explosive turn 3 if you have a two-drop and a three-drop. In general it seems like the bannerets in the more expensive races will be more valuable. This one is a 2/1 which isn't bad for two mana. It does seem like almost all the Kithkin are Soldiers and vice versa though, so this is one of the smaller effects.

    Burrenton Bombardier – 2W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    Flying
    Reinforce 2 – {2}{W}
    2/2
    Illus. Ron Spencer
    #3/150

    This is obviously pretty good. If you have a lot of bears, you can probably force them to try to trade when they're tapped out, and this trick can wreck them. Also, wind drake.

    Burrenton Shield-Bearers – 4W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    Whenever Burrenton Shield-Bearers attacks, target creature gets +0/+3 until end of turn.
    3/3
    Illus. Daren Bader
    #4/150

    If you don't get any Plover Knights, I guess this is okay…. Some decks would have trouble blocking a 3/6 or a 3/3 and a 2/5.

    Cenn's Tactician – W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    {W}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target Soldier creature.
    Each creature you control with a +1/+1 counter on it can block an additional creature.
    1/1

    This still does not seem like a common to me at all. Nuts in general.

    EDIT: Turns out it's believed not to be a common now, and instead we have:

    Forfend – 1W
    Instant (Common)
    Prevent all damage that would be dealt to creatures this turn.

    This seems pretty awful in general. I guess you can use it sort of like a one-shot surprise Dolmen's Gate, or as a bad fog if you have enough blockers. It can answer Thundercloud Shaman and might combo with first strike.

    Changeling Sentinel – 3W
    Creature – Shapeshifter (Common)
    Changeling
    Vigilance
    3/2
    Illus. Chuck Lukacs
    #6/150

    A four drop that trades with a two-drop isn't that exciting, but I guess this guy can be a house with reinforce or any lord. Normally white decks aren't super tribal but that might change.

    Coordinated Barrage – W
    Instant (Common)
    Choose a creature type. Coordinated Barrage deals damage to target attacking or blocking creature equal to the number of permanents of that type.

    Seems like it will be big enough at any stage of the game. Kind of like Skred, I expect this to be underrated at first.

    Kithkin Zephyrnaut – 2W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    Kinship – At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it shares a creature type with Kithkin Zephyrnaut, you may reveal it. If you do, Kithkin Zephyrnaut gets +2/+2 and gains flying and vigilance until end of turn.
    2/2

    It's a little better than Springjack Knight because you at least know how big it is before you attack. I still don't like how it does nothing the majority of the time.

    Mosquito Guard – W
    Creature – Kithkin Soldier (Common)
    First strike
    Reinforce 1 – {1}{W} ({1}{W}, Discard this card: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.)
    1/1

    I don't think I would ever play this turn 1 unless I had a Wizened Cenn in hand. It's a bit worse than Triclopean Sight but that card can definitely play a role.

    Order of the Golden Cricket – 1W
    Creature – Kithkin Knight (Common)
    Whenever Order of the Golden Cricket attacks, you may pay {W}. If you do, it gains flying until end of turn.
    2/2

    Seems pretty solid all around, but it gets worse if you're afraid to trade it early on.

    Shinewend – 1W
    Creature – Elemental (Common)
    Flying
    Shinewend comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it.
    {1}{W}, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Shinewend: Destroy target enchantment.
    0/0
    #23/150

    Sideboard material I guess.

    Stonybrook Schoolmaster – 2W
    Creature – Merfolk Wizard (Common)
    Whenever Stonybrook Schoolmaster becomes tapped, you may put a 1/1 blue Merfolk Wizard creature token into play.
    Merrow schools rarely form by design. They come together naturally as eager learners surround the wisest teachers.
    1/2
    Illus. Quinton Hoover and Val Mayerik
    #25/150

    As the token common white merfolk, you will pretty much know by the third pack whether you can support this. It needs more work than either Judge of Currents (which works with any of your guys that tap) or Fallowsage/Veteran of the Depths (which can just swing in if you have nothing better to do).

    Weight of Conscience – 1W
    Enchantment – Aura (Common)
    Enchant creature
    Enchanted creature can't attack.
    Tap two untapped creatures you control that share a creature type: Remove enchanted creature from the game.
    #28/150

    This is really unexciting for the average Kithkin deck, amazing for Merfolk, and somewhere in the middle for other decks. I think you take it around as high as Lignify.

    Dewdrop Spy – 1UU
    Creature – Faerie Rogue (Common)
    Flash
    Flying
    When Dewdrop Spy comes into play, look at the top card of target player's library.
    2/2
    Illus. Wayne England
    #30/150

    A little worse than Pestermite, but still good assuming the UU won't be a problem.

    Disperse – 1U
    Instant (Common)
    Return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand.

    Whirlpool Whelm without the possibility of being great if you win the clash. Bouncing your own guys may be more useful with old and new evokers.

    Distant Melody – 3U
    Sorcery (Common)
    Choose a creature type. Draw a card for each permanent you control of that type.
    Oona's song is like a twisted dinner chime. All the faeries return home, but it is Oona who feasts – on the stolen dreams and rumors they serve her.
    Illus. Omar Rayyan
    #32/150

    I don't think this is as good as people think it is. You need three creatures with the same type before it's any good. Decent in a stalemate, but you can't exactly dig for answers like you can by evoking Mulldrifter.

    Fencer Clique – 2UU
    Creature – Faerie Soldier (Common)
    Flying
    {U}: Put Fencer Clique on top of its owner's library.
    3/2
    #33/150

    Powerful flyer that doesn't die. You can play a few clash/kinship tricks as well.

    Floodchaser – 5U
    Creature – Elemental (Common)
    Floodchaser comes into play with six +1/+1 counters on it.
    Floodchaser can't attack unless defending player controls an Island.
    {U}, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Floodchaser: Target land becomes an Island until end of turn.
    0/0

    I kind of liked Sea Monster to hold the ground in core set draft against green decks, and occasionally be awesome against other blue decks. This guy can do that, and also swing in a few times. It's no Aethersnipe, but really not bad.

    Ink Dissolver – 1U
    Creature – Merfolk Wizard (Common)
    Kinship – At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it shares a creature type with Ink Dissolver you may reveal it. If you do, each opponent puts the top three cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
    2/1

    I don't know if you could really get there with this and Broken Ambitions and the 1/1 below. I think you need a Drowner or Forced Fruition. Still it's a 2/1 for 2.

    Latchkey Faerie – 3U
    Creature – Faerie Rogue (Common)
    Flying
    Prowl {2}{U} (You may play this for its prowl cost if you dealt combat damage to a player this turn with a Faerie or Rogue.)
    When Latchkey Faerie comes into play, if its prowl cost was paid, draw a card.
    3/1
    Illus. Warren Mahy
    #39/150

    This is huge if you prowl it out on turn 3-4. It's a decent flyer to hardcast, if a little fragile.

    Merrow Witsniper – U
    Creature – Merfolk Rogue (Common)
    When Merrow Witsniper comes into play, target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
    1/1

    I think only if you really want a turn 1 prowl enabler.

    Mothdust Changeling – U
    Creature – Shapeshifter (Common)
    Changeling
    Tap an untapped creature you control: Mothdust Changeling gains flying until end of turn.
    1/1
    #42/150

    Seems to be pretty much a Merfolk, and not a bad one for triggering assorted tap effects. Otherwise, I guess you side this in against faerie deck, or play if you need a changeling for whatever reason.

    Negate – 1U
    Instant (Common)
    Counter target noncreature spell.
    Masters of the arcane savor a delicious irony. Their study of deep and complex arcana leads to such a simple end: the ability to merely say yes or no

    I don't think you ever maindeck this, but maybe you side it in if they have something like a planeswalker/final revels that you can't play around or deal with otherwise.

    Stonybrook Banneret – 1U
    Creature – Merfolk Wizard (Common)
    Islandwalk
    Merfolk spells and Wizard spells you play cost {1} less to play.
    1/1
    #51/150

    There's a number of decent merfolk at 2 and 3 so this could make for a solid turn 3. Islandwalk lets this guy get in for a few points.

    Stream of Unconsciousness – U
    Tribal Instant – Wizard (Common)
    Target creature gets -4/-0 until end of turn. If you control a Wizard, draw a card.

    If you have enough wizards, this can be a great trick, or at least prevents a few damage and cycles.

    Blightsoil Druid – 1B
    Creature – Elf Druid (Common)
    {T}, Pay 1 life: Add {G} to your mana pool.
    1/2
    Illus. Nils Haam
    #59/150

    I expect this to be underrated like Vesper Ghoul was. It's pretty solid though.

    Festercreep – 1B
    Creature – Elemental (Common)
    Festercreep comes into play with a +1/+1 counter on it.
    {1}{B}, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Festercreep: All other creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn.
    0/0

    I like this guy a lot. Seems like he'll usually do something.

    Frogtosser Banneret – 1B
    Creature – Goblin Rogue (Common)
    Haste
    Goblin spells and Rogue Spells you play cost {1} less to play.
    The Frogtossers thread feathers, bones, and trophies from past raids into their standards, believing they fuel the warren with the anger of its victims.
    1/1
    Illus. Ralph Horsley
    #64/150

    Oh boy, haste. I don't think this affects prowl costs? edit: apparently it does

    Final-Sting Faerie – 3B
    Creature – Faerie Assassin (Common)
    Flying
    When Final-Sting Faerie comes into play, destroy target creature that was dealt damage this turn.
    2/2
    #65/150

    People may play into this by blocking your random guys with their Cloudcrown Oak or whatever. You may need to play this before combat if they have a skeletal changeling or something though.

    edit: that is an awful example because you can just target the changeling. Now that I think about it, this is not very likely to backfire since there are not that many 1/4 type guys in the format.

    Moonglove Changeling – 2B
    Creature – Shapeshifter (Common)
    Changeling (This card is every creature type at all times.)
    {B}: Moonglove Changeling gains deathtouch until end of turn. (Whenever it deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.)
    2/2
    Illus. Wayne England

    Seems decent, although having to keep a mana open can be annoying.

    Morsel Theft – 2BB
    Tribal Sorcery – Rogue (Common)
    Prowl {1}{B}
    Target player loses 3 life and you gain 3 life. If Morsel Theft's prowl cost was paid, draw a card.
    #68/150

    Seems marginal unless you're really turbo-prowl.

    Pack's Disdain – 1B
    Instant (Common)
    Choose a creature type. Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each permanent you control of that type.

    Doesn't count your opponent's stuff like the white one, but still not bad. You don't have the option of just removing their 2/1 if you get manascrewed though.

    Prickly Boggart – B
    Creature – Goblin Rogue (Common)
    Fear
    "Not now chief, I'm in the zone"
    1/1

    Some people like Lantern Kami a lot. This guy probably gets in for a fair amount, and enables prowl.

    Pulling Teeth – 1B
    Sorcery (Common)
    Clash with an opponent. If you win, target player discards two cards. Otherwise, that player discards a card.

    Costing a mana or two less than it usually does to make them discard 2 isn't really that much help, because you often wait on those kind of spells until they're low on cards anyway. It doesn't help that clashing at sorcery speed is usually a disadvantage.

    Squeaking-Pie Grubfellows – 3B
    Creature – Goblin Shaman (Common)
    Kinship – At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it shares a creature type with Squeaking-Pie Grubfellows, you may reveal it. If you do, each opponent discards a card.
    3/2
    #78/150

    Seems okay, nothing special.

    Violet Pall – 4B
    Tribal Instant – Faerie (Common)
    Destroy target nonblack creature.
    Put a 1/1 black Faerie Rogue creature token with flying into play.
    Illus. Jeff Miracola
    #81/150

    It doesn't kill people as fast as Shriekmaw, but this is still great removal. Especially good with Dreamspoiler Witches on their attack.

    Weed-Pruner Poplar – 4B
    Creature – Treefolk Assassin (Common)
    At the beginning of your upkeep, target creature other than Weed-Pruner Poplar gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
    3/3

    People will underrate this guy. This format has almost no ping effects and a lot of annoying x/1 utility guys (Douser, Ameboid Changeling, Spitfire, Harrier, Judge, Skeletal Changeling). A number of faeries die to this too. If it doesn't kill something, it can help get your guy in by downgrading their 3/3 or whatever.

    Brighthearth Banneret – 1R
    Creature – Elemental Warrior (Common)
    Elemental spells and Warrior spells you play cost {1} less to play.
    Reinforce 1 – {1}{R} ({1}{R}, Discard this card: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature)
    1/1

    I like this one a lot because reinforce is useful in the midgame. Warrior hits a lot of stuff in R/G too.

    Fire Juggler – 2R
    Creature – Goblin Shaman (Common)
    Whenever Fire Juggler becomes blocked, clash with an opponent. If you win, Fire Juggler deals 4 damage to each creature blocking it.
    2/2
    #90/150

    Your opponent may well be terrified of losing this clash and let this guy through too often. Kind of like Mudbutton Torchrunner.

    Hostile Realm – 2R
    Enchantment – Aura (Common)
    Enchant land.
    Enchanted land has "{T}: Target creature can't block this turn."

    The effect is okay. I liked Goblin Rimerunner a lot more because it was a 2/2 body.

    Kindled Fury – R
    Instant (Common)
    Target creature get +1/+0 and gains first strike until end of turn.
    #92/150

    Guided Strike minus the draw, or Hundred-Talon Strike minus the splice. In white or green this would mostly suck, but Brute Force showed that combat tricks are somehow more valuable to a red deck. I think you'll be able to catch someone with this.

    Lunk Errant – 5R
    Creature – Giant Warrior (Common)
    Whenever Lunk Errant attacks alone, it gets +1/+1 and gains trample until end of turn.
    4/4

    Seems fine for a six-drop, maybe better than Axegrinder.

    Mudbutton Clanger – R
    Creature – Goblin Warrior (Common)
    Kinship – At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it shares a creature type with Mudbutton Clanger, you may reveal it. If you do, Mudbutton Clanger gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
    1/1

    It's like a Goblin Cohort that works less often. Yay.

    Roar of the Crowd – 3R
    Sorcery (Common)
    Choose a creature type. Roar of the Crowd deals damage to target creature or player equal to the number of permanents of that type you control.

    So in exchange for hitting players, it becomes a sorcery and costs twice as much? Probably still playable, but unexciting.

    Seething Pathblazer – 2R
    Creature – Elemental Warrior (Common)
    Sacrifice an Elemental: Seething Pathblazer gets +2/+0 and gains first strike until end of turn.
    2/2
    Illus. Steve Prescott
    #101/150

    Huskerrific. Note this triggers the uncommon leaves-play guys. Pretty solid, although you can definitely get blown out with it.

    Shard Volley – R
    Instant (Common)
    As an additional cost to play Shard Volley, sacrifice a land.
    Shard Volley deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
    "Let the mountain's teeth pierce our oppressors"

    Worse in a number of ways than Lightning Axe, but it seems worthwhile in general. Like the axe, I think being a one-mana removal spell can let you make up the card disadvantage, when you use it in response to a pump spell or something like that.

    Stingmoogie – 3R
    Creature – Elemental (Common)
    Stingmoogie comes into play with two +1/+1 counters on it.
    {3}{R}, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Stingmoogie: Destroy target artifact or land.
    0/0

    I hope I don't have to play this.

    Sunflare Shaman – 1R
    Creature – Elemental Shaman (Common)
    {1}{R}, {T}: Sunflare Shaman deals X damage to target creature or player and X damage to itself, where X is the number of Elemental cards in your graveyard.
    2/1

    I heard Barbarian Lunatic was never very good. This is cheaper though, and in the late game could deal 4-5 to the face.

    War-Spike Changeling – 3R
    Creature – Shapeshifter (Common)
    Changeling
    {R}: War-Spike Changeling gains first strike until end of turn.
    3/3
    Illus. Mark Poole
    #112/150

    This guy seems huge. 4+ toughness is fairly rare in the format. Also, changeling etc.

    Green (28/)
    Ambassador Oak – 3G
    Creature – Treefolk Warrior (Common)
    When Ambassador Oak comes into play, put a 1/1 green Elf Warrior creature token into play.
    3/3
    #113/150

    I think it's a bit worse than Cloudcrown Oak, but I can't really see ever being unhappy to play this.

    Bosk Banneret – 1G
    Creature – Treefolk Shaman (Common)
    Treefolk spells and Shaman spells you play cost {1} less to play.
    1/3

    I like this guy a lot with the assorted 4-5 drop treefolk guys. He blocks for a few turns too.

    Deglamer – 1G
    Instant (Common)
    Choose target artifact or enchantment. Its owner shuffles it into his or her library.
    #118/150

    A slightly worse Naturalize that you may or may not play in sealed.

    Earthbrawn – 1G
    Instant (Common)
    Target creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.
    Reinforce 1 – {1}{G} ({1}{G}, Discard this card: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.)
    Gremil finally felt in touch with nature – and felt a need to share the experience with others.
    Illus. Kev Walker

    I think this is normally just the Giant Growth, but once in a while the reinforce will be a blowout.

    Elvish Warrior – GG
    Creature – Elf Warrior (Common)
    2/3

    Good if you have 10+ green sources, less so if you don't. 2/3 isn't the magic p/t like it was in morph block though.

    Everbark Shaman – 4G
    Creature – Treefolk Shaman (Common)
    {T}, Remove a Treefolk card in your graveyard from the game: Search your library for up to two Forest cards and put them into play tapped. Then shuffle your library.
    3/5

    The ability gives you a little thinning, and maybe you can cast Cloudthresher with it? Shuffling is an interesting ability with clash/kinship in the format, and you could use this guy on upkeep if the board is stalled or you're desperate.

    Fertilid – 2G
    Creature – Elemental (Common)
    Fertilid comes into play with two +1/+1 counters on it.
    {1}{G}, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Fertilid: Target player searches his or her library for a basic land card and puts it into play tapped. Then that player shuffles his or her library.
    0/0

    It's a lot of work if you really need the mana. I think it's probably best to just get a land or two when this trades in combat. Note that you can force your opponent to shuffle.

    Game-Trail Changeling – 3GG
    Creature – Shapeshifter (Common)
    Changeling
    Trample
    4/4
    #123/150

    Fangren Hunter was a solid guy in a block where people played 14 land and Bonesplitter was common. Now he also has changeling. Seems pretty awesome.

    Luminescent Rain – 2G
    Instant (Common)
    Choose a creature type. You gain 2 life for each permanent you control of that type.

    I'm having some trouble thinking of when a green deck might want this. Maybe you board it in against faeries. Or merfolk could splash?

    Lys Alana Bowmaster – 2G
    Creature – Elf Archer (Common)
    Reach
    Whenever you play an Elf spell, you may have Lys Alana Bowmaster deal 2 damage to target creature with flying.
    2/2
    #130/150

    I usually play guys like this that are mediocre most of the time but sometimes flat-out win.

    Reins of the Vinesteed – 3G
    Enchantment – Aura (Common)
    Enchant creature
    Enchanted creature gets +2/+2.
    When enchanted creature is put into a graveyard, you may return Reins of the Vinesteed from your graveyard to play attached to a creature that shares a creature type with that creature.
    #134/150

    It may take a little work to make this useful. You can't just equip it somewhere else if your guy gets lignified or whatever.

    Winnower Patrol – 2G
    Creature – Elf Warrior (Common)
    Kinship – At the beginning of your upkeep, you may look at the top card of your library. If it shares a creature type with Winnower Patrol, you may reveal it. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on Winnower Patrol.
    3/2
    Illus. Eric Fortune
    #139/150

    Solid guy, and he could get out of control fairly quickly.

  • Doping with Dolphins II: The Terrible Trinket

    Doping with Dolphins II: The Terrible Trinket

    These days, it seems like sensei’s divining top is an auto-include in a lot of decks, and sometimes it makes sense. You want it in Aggro Red for shrapnel blast, and in TEPS because of its amazing interaction with mind’s desire. However, I am constantly stunned by its inclusion in 4, 5, or more-colour concoctions which attempt to combine it with counterbalance.

    Let’s take a look at one of these decks:

    Do not go gentle into that good night, as suggested by Remi Fortier



    Basing his deck on the popular 1951 villanelle by Dylan Thomas may have won Fortier PT: Valencia, but it did not build a good deck. We can likely attribute his success to lucky draws – watching the top 8 I didn’t see him draw a second SDT a single time, unless it was to be discarded to thirst for knowledge – and solid play. The fact that a second SDT is at best a two-mana cantrip didn’t escape Fortier, who only played three, although worse players are often seen upping the number to four.

    Now I’m not going to claim that there aren’t worse decks to put SDT into, and this deck actually has some good synergies with the card. Let’s look at some of them:

    1. Can be fetched by trinket mage
    2. Can be shuffled away by trinket mage
    3. Can be shuffled away by a fetchland
    4. Can find you a fetchland or trinket mage with which to shuffle it away
    5. Artifact in graveyard for tarmogoyf if you destroy it with your engineered explosives
    6. Allows stifle to cantrip by countering the put on top of library ability
    7. Fills in the crucial 3-drop in the number of words in each card name curve
    8. Easy to take out for sideboard bullets

    That said, these are far outweighed by its detriments. The lesser offenses first:

    1. Pumps other player’s tarmogoyfs if in graveyard
    2. Low CC-card makes you less likely to cut to higher converted mana cost in a format where going first is crucial
    3. You play kataki, retard
    4. Risk of being shut down by your own pithing needle, especially under mindslaver (more problematic on modo, where you often need to turn off sensei golden-tail when you get paired against the first round random, and when you get paired against the guys in the 0-x bracket in later rounds).
    5. Burning-tree shaman
    6. Can’t be copied by vesuvan shapeshifter

    Far and away though, the problem is tempo. The ablative singular form of the latin noun tempus, English for storm (tempest, temper, and New Orleans through French), tempo plays a crucial role in Magic: The Gathering as a mechanic from OLS block. Some decks can use tempo to kill you as soon as turn two with a flurry of rituals, artifacts, and then a large mind’s desire or tendrils of corruption.

    Now this deck is seeking to not create tempo, as it can be used by your opponent to kill you, and yet tempo is the exact thing that SDT creates. With a low mana cost, SDT threatens to create one storm as early as your first turn, and considering that you can put it on top of your library to play it again the next turn, pretty quickly you can wind up with rains washing out the first day of the pro tour due to excessive testing, as happened in Valencia.

    In contrast, you could be playing another threat in SDT’s place. One of the deck’s weaknesses is the difficulty it has in finding a win condition, and if SDT was simply replaced with Sundering Titan this problem would surely be averted.

    When in doubt during deck building, just remember the rhyme: if it begins with Sensei, you’d rather have plenty. Of cabbage.

  • Welsh, Irish nationalists picket Lorwyn events, We are not a mascot, says taoiseach

    DUBLIN, IRELAND (Reuters) – If you play Magic in the UK, you could be in trouble.
    Last Friday, hundreds of picketers from Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and even as far away as the Breton coast took to the streets outside Hasbro UK and game stores to demonstrate against what they perceive as mass market bigotry.

    “This is an insulting and inaccurate portrayal of people of Irish descent as squat, pugnacious men and women with beady eyes and dish faces,” said Conall Murphy, a grad student in Irish studies at Trinity College and leader of the movement, from behind a placard bearing a blown-up version of Brigid’s boobs. “‘Fight one, fight them all’ is a barely-veiled rehash of an old slur against Irish immigrants everywhere.” Pulling a bent and laundered copy of Militia’s Pride from his back pocket, he waved it under my nose truculently amid a cloud of stale alcoholic sweat. “I would have thought they knew better than this, after pulling off Arabian Nights and even Kamigawa Block without visibly abusing those ethnic groups.”

    Other protesters focused on different aspects of the set which they found particularly insulting. A similar demonstration in front of a card shop in Cardiff became violent when players trapped inside the store were attacked by angry picketers as they tried to leave. The reason? “Elves are gay,” said Rhys Owens-Corning, under his own placard showing Immaculate Magistrate in all of its …florid gaiety.

    “Elves are all named after Welsh guys from legend, but in reality they are more representative of the homo culture. They are fixated on youth and beauty, starve themselves to look a certain way, and maim each other out of spite. Like queers, they revel in the drug culture they have built their society around. Moonglove is just another word for cocaine. It’s a slap in the face,” lisped Rhys, who just happens to be tall, thin, and wear a lot of green clothes.

    Craig Jones and Lyle Lovett, who were severely beaten after being trapped inside the comic store in Cardiff for 2 days, declined to comment from their hospital beds. However, Madog Teeg, who was watching them play, said “Jones tapped his [Imperious] Perfect and made a swishing sound, and Lovett said, ‘So which ones are now fabulous?’ and Jones started laughing, and then this guy came in and told us to stay put because other we would get curbstomped.” Teeg was allowed out of the store unharmed, because he had a copy of Y Gwawd (The Troubadour) Welsh-language arts weekly unfolded over his face to hide his earrings, and flashed a copy of Engineered Plague as he ducked past. “I just muttered, ‘I don’t play Elves…I don’t play Elves’ as I went through the picket lines, and they left me alone. I don’t really get it.”

    Mass bloodshed was averted when police were able to reroute the Glamorgan Gay Pride March away from the comic store just in time. “Not that we were afraid they would be hurt…Cardiff has more than its share of ‘bears’ in the gay community, large hairy men on choppers with bullwhips and handcuffs. Not a pretty prospect,” said police spokeswoman Tina Gaffney (yes, you saw that coming.)

    Scotland was also troubled by minor violence over the weekend as the Glasgow Curling Team protested WOTC for misportraying Giants as filthy, unkempt, and socially aversive. “Rarrgh wrarrrrgh rawr,” said team leader Jecht Murray. “Grrrrrrrrgh.”

    A planned march on the Isle of Man to protest inherent racism in Merrow Reejerey was cancelled due to low attendance.

  • Consumer Electronics Show

    This week Las Vegas was host to the 2008 Consumer Electronics Show, which wrapped up yesterday. There were some great new technologies and products revealed, as well as Bill Gate's great retirement speech/video. We here have made a few additions to next years' Christmas wish list – TVs, Monitors, Cars. Ok, so they're BIG WISHES, but hey we could always win the lottery, right?

    So while there's a laundry list of great stuff to be shown at the show, here's our Top 6 picks for best of the best, coolest of the coolest, and stuff that we wish was hanging from our wall, or plugged into our sockets. Sure they'll put a dent in your wallet, but the latest and greatest toy on the market is worth it!

    Alienware Curved Monitor

    user posted image

    The Good: Holy crap! It looks like a monitor out of a sci-fi movie, and what else would you expect from Alienware? This 2880×900, LED screen is comprised of 4 (nearly) seamless screens for a gaming experience that is ALMOST 180 degrees! Imagine what all that porn you watch will look like on it.

    The Bad: Well you'll almost have to devote a room to this mammoth monitor. Good luck finding a desk that can support it's weight, or decorating a room around it. Turn that computer room into the deck of the Starship Enterprise (assuming you haven't already turned your parents' basement into a replica).

    The Ugly: The price is yet to be determined, but you can rest easy knowing this will set you back a pretty penny. Nowhere near as expensive as some of the other items on our list, but the luxury of a gaming experience like this won't come cheap.

    Pioneer 9mm Ultra-Thin Plasma TV

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    The Good: Ok, so it's just a concept right now, but wow is that ever slim! It balloons out to a *whopping* 18mm in the center, which still leaves it thinner that your boss's hair, or the lies you tell your wife.

    The Bad: It's ulta-slim, and ulta-light, so at worse it'll make you look fatter than you already are. You girlfriend or wife might get jealous and ask if you want her to be that thin. And you might lose it in a stack of papers.

    The Ugly: Sure, LCDs and Plasmas are coming down in price lately, but you can be sure that the thinner your TV gets, the more expensive it'll get. Expect it to take more than a chunk out of your spending money.

    Panasonic 150" TV

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    The Good: Well, it's WAYYYY bigger than the puny 103" TV Panasonic debuted last year. Hell, this is bigger than most of the walls in your apartment we'll assume. The first step to virtual reality, and exactly what Wile E. Coyote would have needed to trick the roadrunner into running into that Fake Tunnel. It's 4096×2160 resolution will have you trying to reach into the screen.

    The Bad: Good luck getting this monster INTO your house. It'll require knocking out a wall or removing a portion of your roof. And if you thought Rosie O'Donnel looked huge on a regular TV…

    The Ugly: Well we already mentioned Rosie, so it comes down to price. You WON'T be able to afford this, unless you're Bill Gates or NASA. So if you wipe your ass with $100 bills, this will continue to be a dream. A WET dream.

    Whirlpool Plug-and-Play Refridgerator

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    The Good: With an iPod dock, TV, Laptop Dock, Picture fram, speaker system, and food storage (duh) all you're missing is a comfy chair and a toilet and you've got an all-in-one system for lazyness. Watch the game with a supply of beer an arm's length away, have your laptop and iPod ready to go, and if you're missing them from your hours and hours of seclusion, digital photo-frame dock for pictures of your family and other people you've alienated by living against your fridge.

    The Bad: Having a fully-stocked fridge inches away from you is definately a downside. Snacks, drinks, and everything that'll balloon you to a lardass so close you can smell them. With no need to leave the fridge for your media needs, you'll be installing a toilet in the kitchen in the future.

    The Ugly: Showering with the water dispenser.

    Mitsubishi Laser TV

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    The Good: This 65" Rear Projection set debuted with a cavalcade of hot dancing girls demonstrating how PURE the color can be when using 'frickin' lasers'. The darkest blacks and brightest primary colors ever seen will all be available on this amazing piece of tech. Expect it and a special 3D version (requiring glasses!) to hit the market later this year.

    The Bad: The constant fear of the lasers breaking through the screen and boring a hole in your forehead. Sharks getting a hold of said lasers. End of the world ensues. Colors so bright the rest of the world seems dull.

    The Ugly: Let's face it, this TV will always be brighter than you. The resulting inferiority complex will probably lead you to sell the TV you just spent several thousand dollars on.

    Chevy Volt Hydrogen Car

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    The Good: So while the concepts for the volt were released months ago, CES-goers got the first look at the Hydrogen engine GM is using in this eco-friendly vehicle. We aren't tree-huggers around here, but anything that allows us to stop paying for gas is, in our books, AMAZING. Plus it looks like something out of a mad scientist's lab.

    The Bad: Will it sound like the purr we all love from our precious vehicles? What's the fuel efficiency like? How much will it cost? All these questions and more… can't be answered yet. Oh well, at least we got to look at something pretty (like going to the strippers).

    The Ugly: Being the invention touted as what will end our dependancy on oil, you've got imagine it's not going to be cheap. Selling your first born for this puppy sounds like a fair trade. Also, you risk being called a hippy for driving an eco-friendly car.

  • Roy Spires Wins Grand Prix: Vancouver!

    After two days of Tarmogoyfs, legendary Treefolk, and Counter-Top locks, we have a winner. Well-known internet Magic expert Roy “Random-Miser” Spires defeated Tomoharu Saito in the most lopsided match in Grand Prix history. Spires’ tech was so powerful we have omitted his decklist from the coverage out of respect for his innovation.

    “I just threw it together this morning……I wasn’t even planning on playing this event…..I was in the neighborhood and figured why not……” Then he made a face like this:

    :-9

    “When word gets out…….everyone will know [OMITTED] is good.” Then he squinted his eyes shut tight.

    >.<

    (Sorry for the ellipses, but when Roy speaks there is often a prolonged pause that is represented best by five or six dots in a row).

    Prior to this weekend Spires was best known as designer of Invincible Counter Troll, a Vintage deck containing some of the most broken cards ever printed and Sedge Troll. Earlier last year Sedge Troll was timeshifted into the Planar Chaos set as Hedge Troll in tribute to Spires. Roy has long been recognized as the smartest Magic player to have never accomplished anything significant in an event of any merit.

    “What can I say….my opponents get lucky…..”

    Dr. David Pask from the School of Mathematical and Physical Sciences at the University of Newcastle calculates the odds of Roy avoiding the pitfall of lucky opponents as a number too long for this article to one. In other words, nearly impossible.

    “Mister Spires has been the victim of luck so often it has become part of the fabric of reality. In fact, anyone sitting across from Spires in a tournament setting will automatically be exempt from mana screw and will often get his ‘God hand’ two games running. This places him on the opposite end of the scale from say, Kai Budde or Jon Finkel, two of the luckiest mages in Magic history. That is, until now.”

    Dr. Pask did not comment as to if internet coverage magnifies this lucky opponent phenomenon. It would seem so based on past events. From the Starcity Games Vintage tournament in July 2003 to Grand Prix: Dallas 2007, Roy’s opponents have been lucky enough to prevent the public at large who might not be familiar with his extensive library of apprentice logs detailing his victories or his domination of the Dallas FNM circuit from recognizing his genius.

    In addition to his trophy, Spires leaves Vancouver with the top prize of $3000 and the $1500 check for best finish by a player with no pro points. How’s that for luck! Roy is taking it all in stride.

    “For an event like this, I’m practically losing money…..I usually make tens of thousands trading cards at tournaments….I didn’t even have any cash for my entry fee yesterday…..good thing I had my American Express Black on me…..” Then he made a face too complex for an emoticon to represent.

    Upon hearing the news of the victory Stephen Hawking electronically uttered, “I have been wrong about everything”. Then he died.

    Congratulations to Roy “Random-Miser” Spires, Grand Prix: Vancouver Champion 2008!

  • Pro MTG Online #173

    Pro MTG Online #173