Consumer Electronics Show

Posted on Friday, January 11th, 2008 by Chris "The Creep" Balon (Vicious)
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Posted in mtg

This week Las Vegas was host to the 2008 Consumer Electronics Show, which wrapped up yesterday. There were some great new technologies and products revealed, as well as Bill Gate's great retirement speech/video. We here have made a few additions to next years' Christmas wish list – TVs, Monitors, Cars. Ok, so they're BIG WISHES, but hey we could always win the lottery, right?

So while there's a laundry list of great stuff to be shown at the show, here's our Top 6 picks for best of the best, coolest of the coolest, and stuff that we wish was hanging from our wall, or plugged into our sockets. Sure they'll put a dent in your wallet, but the latest and greatest toy on the market is worth it!

Alienware Curved Monitor

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The Good: Holy crap! It looks like a monitor out of a sci-fi movie, and what else would you expect from Alienware? This 2880×900, LED screen is comprised of 4 (nearly) seamless screens for a gaming experience that is ALMOST 180 degrees! Imagine what all that porn you watch will look like on it.

The Bad: Well you'll almost have to devote a room to this mammoth monitor. Good luck finding a desk that can support it's weight, or decorating a room around it. Turn that computer room into the deck of the Starship Enterprise (assuming you haven't already turned your parents' basement into a replica).

The Ugly: The price is yet to be determined, but you can rest easy knowing this will set you back a pretty penny. Nowhere near as expensive as some of the other items on our list, but the luxury of a gaming experience like this won't come cheap.

Pioneer 9mm Ultra-Thin Plasma TV

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The Good: Ok, so it's just a concept right now, but wow is that ever slim! It balloons out to a *whopping* 18mm in the center, which still leaves it thinner that your boss's hair, or the lies you tell your wife.

The Bad: It's ulta-slim, and ulta-light, so at worse it'll make you look fatter than you already are. You girlfriend or wife might get jealous and ask if you want her to be that thin. And you might lose it in a stack of papers.

The Ugly: Sure, LCDs and Plasmas are coming down in price lately, but you can be sure that the thinner your TV gets, the more expensive it'll get. Expect it to take more than a chunk out of your spending money.

Panasonic 150" TV

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The Good: Well, it's WAYYYY bigger than the puny 103" TV Panasonic debuted last year. Hell, this is bigger than most of the walls in your apartment we'll assume. The first step to virtual reality, and exactly what Wile E. Coyote would have needed to trick the roadrunner into running into that Fake Tunnel. It's 4096×2160 resolution will have you trying to reach into the screen.

The Bad: Good luck getting this monster INTO your house. It'll require knocking out a wall or removing a portion of your roof. And if you thought Rosie O'Donnel looked huge on a regular TV…

The Ugly: Well we already mentioned Rosie, so it comes down to price. You WON'T be able to afford this, unless you're Bill Gates or NASA. So if you wipe your ass with $100 bills, this will continue to be a dream. A WET dream.

Whirlpool Plug-and-Play Refridgerator

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The Good: With an iPod dock, TV, Laptop Dock, Picture fram, speaker system, and food storage (duh) all you're missing is a comfy chair and a toilet and you've got an all-in-one system for lazyness. Watch the game with a supply of beer an arm's length away, have your laptop and iPod ready to go, and if you're missing them from your hours and hours of seclusion, digital photo-frame dock for pictures of your family and other people you've alienated by living against your fridge.

The Bad: Having a fully-stocked fridge inches away from you is definately a downside. Snacks, drinks, and everything that'll balloon you to a lardass so close you can smell them. With no need to leave the fridge for your media needs, you'll be installing a toilet in the kitchen in the future.

The Ugly: Showering with the water dispenser.

Mitsubishi Laser TV

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The Good: This 65" Rear Projection set debuted with a cavalcade of hot dancing girls demonstrating how PURE the color can be when using 'frickin' lasers'. The darkest blacks and brightest primary colors ever seen will all be available on this amazing piece of tech. Expect it and a special 3D version (requiring glasses!) to hit the market later this year.

The Bad: The constant fear of the lasers breaking through the screen and boring a hole in your forehead. Sharks getting a hold of said lasers. End of the world ensues. Colors so bright the rest of the world seems dull.

The Ugly: Let's face it, this TV will always be brighter than you. The resulting inferiority complex will probably lead you to sell the TV you just spent several thousand dollars on.

Chevy Volt Hydrogen Car

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The Good: So while the concepts for the volt were released months ago, CES-goers got the first look at the Hydrogen engine GM is using in this eco-friendly vehicle. We aren't tree-huggers around here, but anything that allows us to stop paying for gas is, in our books, AMAZING. Plus it looks like something out of a mad scientist's lab.

The Bad: Will it sound like the purr we all love from our precious vehicles? What's the fuel efficiency like? How much will it cost? All these questions and more… can't be answered yet. Oh well, at least we got to look at something pretty (like going to the strippers).

The Ugly: Being the invention touted as what will end our dependancy on oil, you've got imagine it's not going to be cheap. Selling your first born for this puppy sounds like a fair trade. Also, you risk being called a hippy for driving an eco-friendly car.