Author: Checkbox
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Flavor Text Quiz: Real or Fake? #1
Magic’s flavor text is one of the most important parts of what makes a Magic card what it is. Besides helping to flesh out the fictional worlds of the Multiverse, flavor text can also bring characters to life in memorable ways, or allow the designers of the game to sneak in some humor and whimsy into their grimdark fantasy realms. Is your inner Vorthos ready to take a dip in the sweet sweet waters of Lake Flavor Text? Prepare yourself for the ultimate flavor text challenge: Are the flavor texts below real or fake? Scroll down to begin!
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#1. Basic senses like sight and taste are reserved for those in power.
#2. There’s more than one way to crack a skull.
#3. “I’m in charge now!”
#4. “I could promise you a quick death. But it would be a lie.”
#5. “Once more into Devil’s Breach, soldiers. I want another devil tail for my collection.”
#6. With Tezzeret judging, the Inventors’ Fair is anything but.
#7. Go big and go home.
#8. “Your creations are effective, Sheoldred, but we must unite the flesh, not merely flay it.”
— Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite#9. It has two paws and one maw.
#10. “Show them. Show them how hot your fire can burn.”
— Liliana Vess, to Chandra Nalaar#11. “Smarter than death? Let’s see you outsmart my mace, necromancer!”
#12. There are two punishments in en-Kor culture, to be burned, or to be spurned. Every en-Kor has chosen to be burned without hesitation.
#13. She’ll make you a deal you can’t refuse. And if you do refuse it, she’ll make you another deal. One you’ll wish you could refuse.
#14. “You keep talking, but the only words I’m hearing are ‘go’ and ‘fast’.”
#15. Bores ruin a party. Boars are party to ruin.
#16. “I will join you so that you will not yet join me.”
#17. It is the thing that goes bump in the night.
#18. “When the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around.”
#19. Their language may be a cacophonous agglomeration of chittering snorts and mad barking, but the message they send is all too clear.
#20. “Try this on for size!”
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Answer key:#1. This one is REAL. It’s on Phyrexian Revoker, from the set New Phyrexia.
#2. This one is FAKE.
#3. This one is FAKE.
#4. This one is FAKE.
#5. This one is REAL. It’s on Thraben Valiant, from Avacyn Restored.
#6. This one is FAKE.
#7. This one is FAKE.
#8. This one is REAL. It’s on Skinrender, from Scars of Mirrodin.
#9. This one is FAKE.
#10. This one is REAL. It’s on Diabolic Tutor, from Kaladesh.
#11. This one is REAL. It’s on Ash Zealot, from Return to Ravnica.
#12. This one is FAKE.
#13. This one is FAKE.
#14. This one is FAKE.
#15. This one is REAL. It’s on Crashing Boars, from Exodus.
#16. This one is REAL. It’s on Drogskol Shieldmate, from Eldritch Moon.
#17. This one is REAL. It’s on Mindslicer, from Odyssey and Ninth Edition.
#18. This one is FAKE.
#19. This one is REAL. It’s on Heckling Fiends, from Dark Ascension and Conspiracy.
#20. This one is FAKE.If you scored…
16-20: You are the living embodiment of Vorthos! Or you work in the flavor text department. If you’re in the second group, hello!
10-15: Your coin flipping worked to your benefit! I can think of one goblin it ain’t so lucky for.
5-9: Your coin flipping worked out poorly! Are you the kind of goblin who’d lose their thumb in a wager, then come right back with “double or nothing”?
0-4: You are fuel for the Magmaw! That’s not related to your performance on the quiz, it’s just a general fact.
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Announcing From the Vault: Obvobvobv
Play Magic the Way it’s Meant to Be Played
Sling the most updated spells in the multiverse with this collection of sixteen of the most Oracle-accurate cards in Magic’s history. We’ve updated the rules for these recognizable, black-bordered, tournament-playable cards. You and your opponents will know exactly what these cards do when you see them.
Contents and Details
• 16 Premium foil cards, including 0 with new art.
• An exclusive Spindown™ life counter.
• A collector’s guide, redeemable online at magiccards.info or scryfall.com.
• Each card has been printed using a foil process unique to the From the Vault series. They have not been treated for warping.
• From the Vault: Obvobvobv will be available world-wide in English only, and will have a nonexistent print run.
• All cards are black bordered and tournament legal. This means that these cards are legal for use in any tournaments where the original printings are still legal. This should not be construed as advice, legal or otherwise, to actually play these cards in tournaments, or to play the game at all.Please use the hashtag #MTGV18 for discussing this product on Twitter!
Credits
Product Concept and Development: A couple of nameless interns that have already been fired
Release Date: April 1, 2018
Magic Online Release Date: April 20, 2018
MSRP: $34.99 *Applies to U.S. Only -
Kim Jong Un Announces Successful Test of New EDH Deck
Kim Jong Un, Supreme leader of North Korea, has issued the following press statement:
“I have designed and tested a glorious and unstoppable new combo, which the senile judge Sheldon Menery will be helpless to defeat. It is so simple a child could win with it, but so brilliant and intricate that only a living god could bring it to fruition! I have chosen as my commander the legendary Phelddagrif, a true democratic people’s champion. Phelddagrif allows me to assemble a powerful combination of tutors, draw spells, and ramp effects to bring the full and terrible power of my combo to bear!
“Allow me, briefly, to explain its full potential: The heart of the combination is this majestic Korean foil Triskelion, in gem mint condition. See how it catches the light. After the Triskelion has been summoned, I will then cast this Chinese foil Doubling Season. Also gem mint, and protected by a full three layers of sleeves! The final piece of the combo is this Russian Rite of Passage. It is not foil, but even now I have a literal army scouring the finest shops in the glorious People’s Republic for a foil one.
“You see, with all these pieces laid out, I have fully assembled a winning position! Very soon I expect to use this devastating combo in a real game, for the highest stakes imaginable! Sheldon, the feckless dotard, might try to stop me with his beloved Krosan Grip, but look!”
At this, The Korean leader turned over his deck to reveal a Privileged Position, altered to show him riding a dragon while laying waste to what appeared to be Wizards of the Coast headquarters. “The incredible power of these cards was immediately evident to me, and when I was able to secure the Russian and Chinese cards from sources which will for now remain anonymous, I knew then that my destiny was before me!”
The EDH rules committee says they have no plans to ban Triskelion, Doubling Season, or Rite of Passage; but reminds players that Commander is a casual format and individual playgroups may ban or unban cards as they wish.
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Announcing… From the Vault: Magic: the Gathering: Online
Magic Online has always been a source of great stories. Many named players on the Pro Tour got their start online, as well as many new players who use Magic Online as their starting point on a long journey to become the Multiverse’s greatest Planeswalker. However, often times cards work somewhat differently online as compared to their paper counterparts.
From the Vault: Magic: the Gathering: Online is a collection of fifteen hallmark cards from Magic Online’s rich history, brought to life on paper cards with updated rules text and art to bring the questionably great experience of playing online to the offline world. Now you can play these iconic cards as the programmers designed, without having to look up online-specific errata.
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Judge’s Corner #6
Welcome back to our regular series Judge’s Corner, where we answer your Magic: the Gathering rules questions.
Q: Can players decide the outcome of a tournament match by playing another game, such as Hearthstone?
A: A match cannot be determined by a random method.
Q: I saw a Mox Ruby the other day, and the type line says “Mono Artifact.” What does that mean?
A: It means that Mox Ruby is restricted in Vintage.
Q: What does “Until end of turn” mean?
A: Turning a magic card is called “tapping.” So “until end of turn” lasts as long as it takes to turn a card 90 degrees.
Q: The Eldritch Moon card Providence says that I may reveal it from my “opening hand” to make my life total 26. What is my “opening hand”?
A: Pretend that you are unscrewing a pickle jar. One of your hands naturally holds the jar and the other turns the lid. The one turning the lid is your opening hand.
Q: If there are no cards in either player’s graveyard, and I want to kill my opponent’s Tarmogoyf with a Blaze, what should X be?
A: X should be silver, indicating that your Blaze is an uncommon card from Tenth Edition.
Submit your questions to @goodgamery on Twitter using #judgescorner.
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Judge’s Corner #5
Welcome back to our weekly series Judge’s Corner, where we answer your Magic: the Gathering rules questions.
Q: Can I regenerate Masticore after my opponent targets it with Pillage?
A: Yes. The effect “it can’t be regenerated” only applies when Pillage resolves; while Pillage is on the stack you can still pay (2) to activate Masticore’s ability and give it a regeneration shield.
Q: Does Unexpectedly Absent for 0 work?
A: Yes, but only if the library has no cards in it. When you’re counting off from the top of the library, you start at the first card, so there can only be a zeroth card to put the permanent under if the library is empty.
Q: I’ve read that if you have a Doubling Season in play and then play a Vivid Crag, the charge counters don’t get doubled. That seems very confusing to me. Can you explain why this is?
A: Doubling Season says, “if an effect would place one or more counters on a permanent you control, it places twice that many of those counters on that permanent instead.” But when you put your Vivid Crag into play it’s not an effect that places counters on the land; it’s you that places counters on the land.
Q: Relentless Rats is my favorite card. I’ve worked hard to collect a lot of them. Last week I brought my deck of Swamps and Relentless Rats to FNM only to have judge tell me that my deck wasn’t legal because Relentless Rats aren’t in Standard. But it says right there on the card that a deck can have any number of Relentless Rats! What gives?
A: In general the rules text of a permanent card (such as the sentence “a deck can have any number of cards named Relentless Rats” on Relentless Rats) only functions while that card is in on the battlefield. Thus your deck is legal as long as you have a Relentless Rats on the battlefield, but when you start the game you don’t have any Rats on the battlefield and your deck is not legal. The judge made the right call.
Q: I am at 1 life and my opponent is at 3 life. I tap my City of Brass to cast Lightning Bolt targeting my opponent. Do I die or does my opponent?
A: Dies means “is put into a graveyard from the battlefield.” Since you are players and not creatures, neither player dies.
Submit your questions to @goodgamery on Twitter using #judgescorner.
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Judge’s Corner #4: Special Ixalan Edition
Welcome back to the Judge’s Corner. This week we have a special Ixalan edition of Judge’s Corner where we go over some important rules notes and reminders about the new set in preparation for the upcoming prerelease.
Q: When I deal damage to my opponent with Gishath, Sun’s Avatar, what I am supposed to reveal about many cards from the top of my library?
A: You’re supposed to reveal that many of them are Dinosaurs.
Q: Can you explain how explore works?
A: Explore is a sorcery that costs one generic mana and one green mana and allows you to play an additional land (sometimes two) that turn and draw a card. You may cast it during the main phase of your turn.
Q: I tried to play Torment of Venom on my opponent’s Carnage Tyrant, but he said that Carnage Tyrant’s ability stops that. Is he right?
A: Yes, your opponent is correct. Carnage Tyrant can’t be countered.
Q: Jace, Cunning Castaway has the type Legendary Planeswalker – Jace. What does this mean?
A: No, Jace has the type Planeswalker. Legendary is a supertype and Jace is a subtype.
Q: What is the difference between the new Treasure tokens and Gold tokens?
A: Treasure tokens are colorless artifact tokens with the ability, “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.” Gold tokens are only produced by the card Sword of Dungeons and Dragons from the upcoming Unstable set.
Q: I control Admiral Beckett Brass and attack with Angrath’s Marauders. If my opponent doesn’t block, will I be able to gain control of one of his nonland permanents?
A: Yes. Note that the name “Angrath’s Marauders” is plural, as you can clearly see three different Pirates in the art. Plus, they deal double damage so that’s already like, six Pirates in all. So you can totally gain control of one of your opponent’s nonland permanents this way!
Q: My opponent claims he can Demolish my Hostage Taker, but that doesn’t make any sense to me. What gives?
A: Your opponent is right, he can Demolish your Hostage Taker. This is because Hostage Taker was unfortunately printed with a word omitted in its rules text: it has been errata’d to say “When Hostage Taker enters the battlefield, exile another target artifact or creature until Hostage Taker leaves the battlefield.” This means that Hostage Taker is an artifact.
Q: What does Tocatli Honor Guard’s ability do?
A: Tocatli Honor Guard is the newest of a category of cards we affectionately like to call “rules reminder cards.” Frequently newer or less enfranchised players think that their creatures do whatever they do immediately when they play them. Tocatli Honor Guard is there to remind them that just entering the battlefield isn’t necessarily going to cause their creatures’ abilities to trigger. The ability doesn’t actually do anything. Some examples of older rules reminder cards include Heartbeat of Spring, Kami of the Crescent Moon, Vernal Bloom, Cavalry Master, and Dauthi Slayer.
Submit your questions to @goodgamery on Twitter using #judgescorner.
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Homarids Officially Declared Extinct
Homarids declared extinct in the wild, Camarid breeding program on last legs“This is a disaster, an absolute disaster.”
I was sitting with Thoruzon One-Thumb, the archmage in charge of lobsterman studies at Tolaria West.
“What we have here is an indication that something is going wrong in the oceans. Dominaria’s native homarids are being pushed out of their ecological niche by other species that have been introduced by reckless planeswalkers.” One-Thumb was excited to talk to me, gesticulating wildly as he described the marine biology off the Otarian islands.
“The homarids only really thrived during the great ice age of course, but they managed to maintain a stable population afterwards for quite a long time.”
I asked him what had changed. “In a word? Slivers. When the Riptide Institute started breeding slivers, there wasn’t a lot of room left for noncompetitive creatures. Power levels had to rise, and while a rising tide may lift all boats, it often gives homarids -1/-1. And when these new slivers showed up, well, it took a while but now there just aren’t any homarids left.”
One-Thumb took me out to the spawning beds on his magical dinghy. “You can see here, this whole shallow area used to be covered in camarid eggs. But between the Slivers and the Phyrexian oil spill, there’s just nothing.” He lowered his staff into the ocean water and dredged up a few egg fragments instead of drawing a card. “This is it for the once proud homarid race, unless we can do something.”
This is where the Academy at Tolaria West comes into the picture. They’ve managed to open portals through time and snatch up unsuspecting homarids to breed in the present.When I asked if they were worried they might cause a temporal paradox, that they might grab a homarid that was important to the timeline, the researchers just laughed. “There were no important homarids” explained Vizra Nine-Finger. “Outside of Time Spiral limited, none of them ever saw any real action, so we can grab whatever we want. And what we want is big strong breeding stock like this fellow — whoa, almost turned into Vizra Eight-Finger there!”
Later that evening in the Tolarian Tavern, I sat with the research crew. What made them choose homarids? “Well, the grant money is good,” Nine-Finger explained.
One-Thumb was quick to add, “and they’re just homarids. Nobody expects much from our research. But in a way, it’s also a labor of love. We all love Homarids. Especially with melted butter.”
The future looks bleak for these majestic lobster people of the Dominarian sea, with slivers still roaming the shores and a thriving market in their flesh. But with a return to Dominaria, perhaps new tribes of Sea Lobster men will come to the attention of players. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will be constructed playable.
