Reuben Bresler glared at AJ Sacher from across the Magic: the Newsening desk. “I told you, AJ, I’m out. I’ve gone straight. I don’t do that kind of thing anymore.”
“But this is it Reuben, the big one. If we can pull this off, Guillaume will pay us a cool million. But I need your help, you’re the best safecracker in the business.”
Reuben thought about what he could do with that money. He could finally retire, open that little card shop on the beach he’d always been dreaming about, in a country with no extradition. “Ok, what’s the job?”
“The Shadows over Innistrad godbook. It’ll be the biggest score since Mike ‘Rootwater Thief’ Long stole the invitational.”
“That’s impossible. It’s 3 months before the set’s release date! The printers won’t even have it, we’d have to go to the source. And even if we did get into wizards headquarters, Mark Rosewater’s vault is the most secure vault in the world. The entire vault is made of darksteel, I’d need all my tools to crack it, and I’d never get those past security. Security guards on duty 24/7, a security system that runs software designed by THE Worth Wollpert, mandatory background checks for everyone who comes in.”
“Jarvis can hack the security system, he went to Dartmouth. And for the rest, if we pull this off, they’ll let us walk through the front door” AJ said with a grin.
It was a cold January morning when Reuben and AJ pulled up to wizards headquarters. Before they could even make it through the mox encrusted doorway, a security guard was already stopping them.
“What are you doing here?” he grunted at the two.
Reuben tilted his sunglasses down, handed the guard his credentials and said, “We’re here to stream the Sunday Super Series.”
“Sunday Super Series. What the **** is that? I’m going to have to search your bags.”
“We’re already running late, you wouldn’t want to keep Aaron Forsythe waiting, would you? We all remember what happened to Randy when he made Aaron mad.”
The color left the security guards face. “I’m sure it will be ok. Go on through, sirs.” the security guard stammered.
Reuben and AJ walked through the halls of wizards to Mark Rosewater’s vault. “I hate security guards almost as much as a werewolf hates a collar. Especially Avacyn’s Collar, the symbol of her church.” AJ quipped as they approached the vault.
“I still can’t believe they bought it,” Reuben said, “why would anyone decide to fly at the last minute to Renton to stream a tournament no one has heard of, especially without checking with Wizards first? But those idiots emailed us credentials as soon as we got off the plane. They didn’t even have time to do a background check.”
AJ kept watch, while Reuben go to work on the door. A few minutes later, there was a loud bang, and then Reuben yelled “I’ve got it.”
But, before Reuben and AJ could celebrate their victory, alarms started blaring, and they heard an ominous voice say “I don’t think a 3 year ban is going to be enough this time.”
Trick Jarrett stood at the end of the hallway, holding a 9mm pistol. Before AJ and Reuben could think, he’d already fired two shots.
Mark Rosewater and Aaron Forsythe watched the ambulance drive away.
“This was nasty business, but it had to be done. I remember, one time, when I was working on an episode of Roseanne…” Suddenly Mark Rosewater’s story was interrupted by a loud banging noise. Aaron opened his closet, and saw Trick tied to a chair. “But if you’re here, then who was…”
Meanwhile, Reuben and AJ unzipped their body bags and sat up in the ambulance.
“I can’t believe we pulled this off.” Reuben said to Trick, who was driving the ambulance.
Trick turned, and pulled off his mask “Of course we pulled it off, I’m the greatest thief in the multiverse.”
Leading duelists Blugar the Callous and Zhazha Firegloves face suspensions today, following their involvement in an unsanctioned ‘proxy spell’ tournament. This controversial dueling format permits mages to duel using ‘proxies’ of rare artifacts, and of old spells from the 90s that can’t easily be learnt any more.
In the match in question, instead of a sought-after Black Lotus, Blugar used an acre of local plains with LOTTUS written in 30ft letters using a ride-on lawnmower. Firegloves’ proxies included a selection of Mox jewels that were in fact spray-painted Juju bubbles, and a Tarmogoyf represented by a Goblin of the Flarg in a wig.
Stabbing the air with inky fingers, Blugar protested: “It’s completely unreasonable that we battle mages aren’t allowed to duel this way if we want to. If I summon a merfolk spy and tell him he’s Jace, the Mind Sculptor, and Zhazha agrees to suffer a complete mental breakdown as if he really was Jace, then what’s the harm?”
“The real Jace is kinda busy at the moment. Does that mean all duels, all over the multiverse, should take place without him? It just makes no sense.”
Zhazha Firegloves claimed that she had only taken part for playtesting purposes. “Look, I know there are mages who can cast the real Ancestral Recall, if they’ve been dueling for 20+ years. But that’s not a test of dueling skill. If I decide I want to commit to this format, I’ll learn the spell for real. Until then, I should be able to use this Animate Wall instead. Look, it’s basically the same thing.”
“Hey, where’s that outhouse going? Come back, you!”
Defenders of ‘proxies’ claim that they are far preferable to more convincing counterfeit spells, citing the recent incident in a grand prix final where Kiki Jiki, Mirror Breaker turned out to be a troupe of ouphes in a long trenchcoat.
But the Multiverse Duelist Convocation remained immovable. A spokesperson said: “We have always been clear: proxies are an attack on intellectual property. Duelists should continue to use low-powered spells to trade fetchlands from noobs, as they have always done, and not as stand-ins for playable effects.”
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”
– Rosa Parks
Hello my fellow paramours of the cardboard, I’m back again with another MtG Lists! When I say the word “purple hippo” what comes to your mind? That secret unit in Age of Mythology? Something more sinister? Or is it everyone’s favorite creature type in MtG, the phelddagrif? Since exploding onto the scene in Alliances, phelddagrifs have occupied an exalted place in the Magic community: part joke, part powerhouse. But up til this point there was no definitive ranking of the best phelddagrifs. Don’t cry. I made one. Don’t cry.
#2
Mistform Ultimus is an obvious include. At a 3/3 for four mana it easily passes the vanilla test and can find a home in just about any tribal deck. Wizards clearly though it was #1 as they chose to have it be the lone purple hippo rep for all of MtG history in Time Spiral block’s “Timeshifted” cards. But before we go further, I feel we must be realistic about ol’ Misty: unlike all other phelddagrifs he can be taken by Goatnapper, he’s mono-blue and thus seeks to prolong the game instead of win it, he has zero interaction with artifacts (traditionally the most powerful cards in the game), and above all, that art isn’t doing him any favors. I mean, what’s the appeal? Regardless, Mistform Ultimus’s prominence has secured him a spot on the list. But let’s get ahead to what you’ve all been waiting for.
#1
Don’t mess with the original. When Phelddagrif rolled up in Alliances it was like the world has stopped turning. I saw this card and Loved it. Legend?: Check. Rainbow?: Check. Purple Hippo?: The original Check. As a 4/4 for four mana Phelddagrif massacres the vanilla test. But look at all those abilities! Imagine this scenario: Swing with Phelddi, and give him flying. The opponent blocks with a Scryb Sprite. Give him trample, and the opponent Unsummons him. Bounce him to your hand, countering your opponent’s spell. G + W + U = Value aka an elusive One for Zero. Phelddagriff is also a main-stay in the EDH Commander format where he invented a style of play called “group hug” which forces players to interact and sort out their emotions with language instead of shipping the team. It’s rare that a Magic card makes a statement as powerful as Phelddi, but perched on his back we see that we are all one world. And that’s why he’s my pick for #1 Phelddagrif of all time.
Honorable Mention
Questing Phelddagrif is good, but not quite good enough to make the list. Unlike Mistform Ultimus it’s vulnerable to Eyeblight’s Ending, and it’s not even a legend and hence can’t be played in Command Zone Format. Like, who even remembers this card? Now I’m mad! It’s a shame because the art is really good.
Seattle, Washington – Hello fellow earthlings! Today I’m Gaea’s Herald, bringing you a message that can’t be countered. Our planet is heating up. You may say, “Evan Raingiver Erwin, I know that, I listen to podcasts. There’s nothing we can do because of those Phyrexians in our Congress!” Well, let old Raingiver give you a bit of folk wisdom: don’t remove yourself from the problem. The most recent spikes in climate change have coincided almost perfectly with the recent rise in MtG’s popularity. That causation correlates, friend! Luckily, there are simple steps we can take to help the planet while still enjoying the cardboard we crave. I’ll be using my local gaming store The Dungeon Space as an example of sustainability in action!
Play Limited
Limited is one of best ways that we enjoy the Magic in our lives and is actually one of the most sustainable ways to play. Here’s a simple mind trick: cards = carbon. The more cards in your deck, the more CO2 you’ve released into our atmosphere. But limited has a deck size of only 40; that’s 20 less cards you’re releasing into the atmosphere. Plus, limited reminds us of what we have already. Rather than buying new packs cleaved from a sloth’s living room, why not crack some of those Fallen Empires boosters sitting around? Those packs only have 8 cards each so that’s almost half of the CO2 emissions of a normal draft! I had a blast last night at our Fallen Empires-Fallen Empires-Homelands draft, where I pulled a Derelor for my Sustainable Practices Cube. Plus, why not take the small deck mentality of limited and bring it into your store rules? The Dungeon Space has banned Battle of Wits, the Hummer of MtG, and 100% of people passing through our doors have respected the ban! Employees instruct every customer on the impact Battle of Wits decks have on the wolf habitat. People working together to educate each other: people power!
Proxying
Another great way to caress Gaea is through proxies; rather than own a card, why not own a card-like object? Recycled materials are obviously best for this: candy bar wrappers, extra sleeves, used lottery tickets. But why not go one step further and make biodegradable proxies? Imagine the look on your opponent’s face when you explain that this pile of leaves is Snapcaster Mage. Don’t worry about it touching other cards; it’s 100% natural friend! Need a big guy like Emrakul? Try a potted herb like rosemary or thyme. Not only will it represent the unyielding destructive impulses of a cosmic horror (Re. Congress) but will also bring a pleasant scent to the battlefield while it cycles the fetid air in your local gaming store.
If you have some money to burn but don’t have a green thumb there are tons of proxy websites who will do the planting and tending for you. Many of them even have an amazing promise: for every proxy you buy from them, they’ll send another copy to a struggling village in the Global South. Bring the joy of the world’s greatest card game to those less fortunate while you bring the pain to your opponent’s face! Of course these communities may not be familiar with Magic, so these companies often send photocopies of the card rather than the plant. Magic is for everyone.
Share Cards
The other route you can go to cut down on your cardsumption is to share. If your friend needs something, share it with him; you’d be surprised at how much you can cut back when you work together. You and a friend both playing Twin at the GP and you only have four Scalding Tarns between the two of you? Request to sit next to each other! If you explain you’re saving the planet while you pluck a used Tarn from your earthsister’s graveyard, your opponents won’t mind! You may think this slows down the game but the extra time is actually nice in this More!Now! World. I use it to prune and water my prized Tarmogoyf proxies.
Green Your Store
But we don’t just consume Magic on the level of individual players, we also consume it as stores. What is a simple way to make your store more sustainable? Change the prize structure! A typical store might award eight packs for going 4-0 on draft night, but my store does something a little more meaningful: for every pack of cards you would win, the store instead buys back that many acres of Brazilian rain forest. It makes us players play even harder since we can feel our children’s futures on the line! At the end of the night everyone is a winner.
Another place where Magic players waste a lot is in our food. All that Styrofoam and plastic and foil goes directly into our fishing stocks. The Dungeon Space has a strict compost policy: if you bring it in, you better compost it on your way out. People didn’t get the gist at first but the build up of garbage was so immense that people changed their behavior, and therefore the world. Say what you will but it added a lot of atmosphere to my Golgari pool at the Return to Ravnica prerelease!
Eliminate Plastics
There are a few ways we drain the planet that Wizards of the Coast has no control over. I’m talking about accessories: dice, counters, sleeves, play mats, and card boxes. But every one of these has a green alternative! Instead of dice to track life, I just follow the sun. For counters on creatures, individual drops of rainwater do the trick. My sleeves are hand-sewn from sustainable bamboo grown on a small family farm in Thailand that has been making bamboo sleeves for over a hundred years. For playmats, try a small bed of native grass or other ground cover. Unfortunately, there’s no alternative to card boxes.
The reward of practices like these is not just in saving the planet, but also in enriching your community. The Dungeon Space used to be a sweaty, linoleum-tiled nerd chamber. Now there are birds everywhere! Birds of every shape, size, and color, and they sing while we play Standard!
In the final round of the 2015 Vintage Championships the match was tied 1-1, with Dave Steele at 2 life and Ryan Elliot at 4.
It was Steele’s turn, and he had a Mana Crypt and Sphinx of the Steel Wind in play, with no way to remove the Mana Crypt. Elliot had no cards in hand, no mana available, and no creatures in play other than a single Auriok Salvagers.
It all came down to this: If Steele survives the Mana Crypt flip, he could swing for the win. If he loses the Mana Crypt flip, he takes 3 damage, losing the game.
Steele and Elliot checked their pockets before Steele remembered he had change in his backpack from the breakfast burrito he had earlier that morning. He unzipped it, grabbed a handful of change, and Elliot picked a quarter out to toss.
Suddenly, Judge Steve Nguyen stepped in.
He explained that the table judge had alerted him to some possible rules infractions, and requested Judge Nguyen’s assistance in ensuring both players were playing fairly and legally. Both players were instructed to cease play in order to answer specific questions about the match state. Steele was pulled aside first, and asked about the previous turns of the match. Steele answered to the best of his knowledge, and after a quick search of his hand, graveyard, and assessment of the battlefield, his story checked out. Next it was Elliot’s turn, and the same occurred. The life totals were correct, the game state was correct, and it was Steele’s upkeep. Judge Nguyen then conferred with the rest of his judge staff and the Head Judge of the event before approaching the players once more.
“I’m sorry, but I’m required to disqualify both of you.” he said. “It’s against DCI rules to have a match where the winner is determined by a coin flip.”
As the DCI rulebook does not cover a simultaneous disqualification in the finals, the winner of the tournament will be randomly determined between the 3rd and 4th place finishers.
___________________________________________
Platinum Player Opens Sealed Pool of All Expeditions, Scrubs Out
During a side event at last weekend’s GP Atlanta, Chris “The Nuts” Smith, a local Platinum club member, had a Sealed pool to remember: the entire pool consisted entirely of Zendikar Expeditions. Lending credence to the theory that premiere event card pools are seeded with hot rares, this was both a blessing and a curse for Smith: while opening several thousands of dollars of Magic cards, he was unable to create a competitive deck from the pile, since none of the cards have win conditions.
Smith had to settle for dropping from the event in the first round and then making his way to an on-site vendor to recoup his entry fee. He was later seen at a nearby tavern ordering drinks for event staff and fellow players.
In his trademark pithy style, Smith had this to say: “Better lucky than good, but I can’t win with lands,” he remarked. “I’m not Jarvis Yu.”
___________________________________________
Emergency Ban of Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy in All Formats
In a surprise article posted on Wizards’ main page yesterday, an emergency ban was announced for the first time since Combo Winter: Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy won’t be seeing another tournament any time soon. Here’s what they had to say about the ban:
“Wizards of the Coast examines tournament results from each competitive Constructed format. When a format becomes imbalanced, or too many games are not interactive, we examine the cause.
After seeing tournament results over the last few weeks, specifically those after the rotation of Theros block from Standard, Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy has shown to be a problematic card in that particular format. We compared both tournament results and commentary from the community to that which existed at the time when Jace, the Mind Sculptor was legal, and saw many similarities. While the impact of the card itself has not led to a metagame that is in any way warped or stagnant, we are issuing a ban in order to prevent what we see as an eventuality.
This change will have its largest impact on Standard, where Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy is most heavily played, but history has shown us that powerful, undercosted blue cards tend to find a place in almost every format. Rather than allow the situation to grow out of hand and issue separate bannings, we have decided to acquiesce to the lessons of history and save ourselves and players a lot of time waiting for the eventual ban to occur.
This ban in particular extends to all formats. While Vintage has the distinction of being the only format which does not ban cards, with exceptions to particular classes of cards such as ante cards and manual dexterity cards, we are including Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy on this list in order to maintain consistency across formats. Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy is now regarded as a manual dexterity card; this does not affect any other cards which require tapping to activate or have a transform trigger.
Players who enter a Magic Origins Draft or Sealed event and obtain a copy of Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy in their card pool are advised to notify a judge so that the card can be replaced with a basic land of their choice. In the case of Magic Online, this substitution will now happen automatically. We are aware of a bug which instead replaces any copies of Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy with an booster pack of Legions and a copy of Incite, and it is being worked on.
“In Commander, Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy is banned as an eligible Commander; in the main deck, Jace, Vryn’s Prodigy is now considered to have a purple card identity, and therefore de facto banned by the rules governing color identity in decks.”
The list of all banned and restricted cards, by format, is here.
Foreward by Louie Scoot-Virgo, famed Magic art collector:
When I was a boy, my estranged father took me to see a Magic show at my estranged uncle’s bar. The Magician was a sad man: older, balding, hands arthritic from the repeated flick of the rabbit from the hat. But what struck me above all else was the wonder he filled the room with. Every child’s eyes were wide, his mouth drooling with the promise that he would bear witness to something amazing: that he was the chosen one. How could the magician do this? Because of his bloodthirsty desire to win. To win at all costs. To bet time and love on the roulette wheel of fate and roll blackjack. To do anything, even those things beyond the realm of man. To be superman.
I caught up with him on a stool and bought what little domestic beer my allowance could purchase and asked him how he got his drive. He giggled and with a knowing wink rasped this at me, “Sharpen your ears. You can’t be watching the spider’s web.” As we talked and drank he revealed his Ten Fold Path to Victory and with each gulp of Miller Lite I drank it in. As the divine night drew to a close and the cruel sun peeked through the window, he stood up, gathered his coat, handed me the original artwork for Spore Cloud, and disappeared into the wide world, a world of children in need of a little Magic.
I’ll never forget those words he told me but I’m not comfortable writing them down so I told them to a friend and we agreed this is a comfortable middle-ground. Spore Cloud formed the base of my Magic art collection, which has now grown to over six pieces. I am bloodthirsty.
______________________________
10. Recycle
9. Save Up
8. Only Hang Out With the Right People
7. Draw Cards
6. Know Your History
5. Always Spend Your Mana
4. Petty Theft
3. Wake Up Early
2. Mono-Red
1. Respect
______________________________
5. Always Spend Your Mana
Does this scenario sound familiar?
“Draw a card, play Island, go.”
Welcome to Hell.
Crap, you say to yourself, Joey’s playing his Rite of Replication deck tonight.
Now I understand why my parents thought this game was demonic. Imagine if they’d seen this.
Good news for you, though: you spent your Plains activating Sensei’s Divining Top during your turn, so you give the top three another look.
Thank god for house rules.
Since Bill’s successful campaign to get Spell Snare banned, you know the path is clear for the Squire you just moved to the top. By the time Joey deals with it, you’ll have all the mana you need.
Since this ability is half of a scry 3, it represents 0.75 cards drawn per mana. Arguably the best card ever printed.
We’ve all been there. The worst possible play that could have happened to you turns into a moment of triumphant victory. It’s because you set it up, you formed a backup plan, and you spent your mana to do it.
When you choose a deck to play, you have to decide which turn you intend to play on. A faster red deck plays on its own turn; slower draw-go style of deck plays on its opponents’ turns; a combo deck is not afraid to play on everyone’s turns.
When you moved your Squire to the top of your deck? That was on your opponent’s turn. Through careful use, Top turns your entire deck into a combo deck: every card you draw now reads, “1: scry 1.5.” If you always spend your mana, you can stay on top of the game.
______________________________
4. Petty Theft
In strategy gaming, the invariably central game mechanic is managing resources. In Chess, you manage your pieces; in Poker, you manage your chips; and in Magic, you manage cards. Another way of looking at this dynamic is against an opponent: by countering or destroying your opponent’s resources, you gain advantage by denying them any option other than conceding. As such, any play made in these games can be thought of as a one-for-one exchange: when you gain resources, your opponent loses choices.
For example, say you cast Time Walk. You’ve gained a turn, which means your opponent has lost a turn. But lots of cards are like Time Walk when you plan a strategy in terms of time and resources spent: if you cast Grizzly Bears and your opponent spends a turn casting Shock to remove it, then you’ve gained three times the advantage, because your opponent is down a card, a mana, and a turn.
Time Walk also does not chew off your opponent’s face.
What are some other forms of advantage we can look to? Consider the resources often left on the table, for example the upkeep step. Usually cards affect this step by costing resources in some fashion, but otherwise this step often goes wasted because only instants and abilities can be used here. Consider what a card like Shock means for you if cast on your opponent’s upkeep: they’ve just untapped, but suddenly they’re down two life when they hadn’t planned to be. Now their draw step has been radically altered, since the card they were hoping to draw may no longer be a valid strategy — they know you’re playing with fire, and have only one phase and one extra card to adapt a new strategy. This often causes fatal misplays from an opponent who can’t adapt on the fly.
More important than that, you’ve stolen three things from your opponent: a step of his turn, two of his life, and a pre-planned strategy.
“Was that the card you were hoping to draw? Guess again!”
Cards like Seedborn Muse, Paradox Haze, and Time Stop excel at this sort of strategy because they serve to gain extra resources for you that your opponent otherwise isn’t using, rendering those resources lost to them. Take everything from your opponent and they will be left with nothing. With a deck full of Time Walks, your opponent will be taken out completely: how can he play if he has no turns?
______________________________
3. Wake Up Early
The best thing about the advent of online Magic clients such as Magic Workstation is that, no matter what time it is, there’s an opponent waiting to be beaten.
There’s a lot to be said about waking up early. Many of the world’s leading CEOs have gone on record as saying they’re at their peak when they get up at 5 AM, slug a can of Dew and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, then skip over the treadmill and hop right into a match. Exercising your brain is far more important than exercising your body, because your brain controls your body: if it is stimulated past its usual ten percent, your brain will take care of the rest of your body while you fell foes with a flurry of clicking and typing.
Double the power, just like Mountain Dew. Also, green.
How you plan your day is just as important as how you plan your play. In the morning, your brain is close to a blank slate, which helps with making stronger instinctual plays while keeping your creative processes empty and fresh. This is similar to the process I call “Developing Your Mana”: each decision you take during the day is like a land drop, and your day starts going once you build up enough resources to make the big plays.
Imagine a notepad in your brain that starts on a blank page, and as you go through the day, it starts to fill up: bad matchups, losing to bad players with good luck, mana screw, these things all take up space in your mind as your day progresses. As the board fills up with lands and creatures (tasks and obligations), it becomes cluttered and difficult to navigate.
While it is important to keep these things in mind to learn from later, you must also keep your focus on the opponent at hand, because you never know when Stacy will call out and make you go in for your shift at Best Buy a little earlier, costing you valuable testing time and causing you to forget the data you’ve collected about the terrible cards your lucksack opponent is currently throwing at you.
The earlier in the day that you start Developing Your Mana, the sooner you can tap into a font of unlimited knowledge.
Sun Tzu once wrote that a sharpened blade cuts more enemies. If you keep your mind sharp, you will be able to line up your opponents and strike them down, one by one, but if you leave your blade to dull, you will quickly be overtaken. Sharpening your weapon the night before a major battle is like playing a land on turn one: disciplined, fundamental, and in some cases necessary to succeed.
Keeping your brain fueled keeps your play clean and sharp; keeping your play clean and sharp helps you defeat your opponents.
______________________________
2. Mono-Red
As we learned in Habit 7: Draw Cards, a deck of 60 Shocks, while having the potential to deal 120 points of damage, doesn’t work very well when you bring it to a tournament, mostly because Shock costs mana to cast (but also because it is illegal to run more than four copies of Shock). You would think this would make a Shock-based deck unviable. However, you have not read to the end of this chapter. As you will learn, it is possible to also run cards with similar effects.
For example, I have purposely ignored the existence of Lightning Bolt until now to illustrate this point. Four Lightning Bolts and four Shocks combined adds up to 20 life and a dead opponent. You now have 52 other slots you can use to kill your opponent even more.
It’s like lighting a Serum Visions on fire and throwing it at your opponent’s face.
In most games of Magic, you will not draw your entire deck. Instead, we spend the game looking to draw the best cards in our deck, filtering through what won’t help us right now in order to find the cards that will. Sometimes, with cards like Arc-Slogger, the cards in your deck don’t matter; what matters is that your deck simply has cards. Being able to set your deck on fire is a great feeling, and in this way we get around that stupid four-copies rule by turning our entire deck into Shocks.
Sometimes your opponent plays cards that gain life. Your job is to kill them harder.
Sometimes your opponent plays cards like Ivory Mask, but those cards are bad so you should win anyway.
Sometimes your opponent splits the difference with cards like Circle of Protection: Red, which wastes their mana and gains you resources every time they fruitlessly stave you off for another turn.
Your opponent will have a hard time protecting themselves when your permanents all become fuel.
It doesn’t matter how much life they gain, or how much they hold you back, as long as you break through for that final point of life. Nothing else is sacred: not your permanents, not your deck, and certainly not their face. The final point of life is all that counts.
______________________________
1. Respect
Google defines “respect” as follows: “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” Now ask yourself: when’s the last time you felt deep admiration for an opponent that just countered your spell, destroyed your land, or wiped the board with an Obliterate without giving everyone three turns’ warning?
List of things Obliterate disrespects: counterspells; lands; creatures; artifacts; friends.
Think back to the last time someone called you a nerd. Remember what t-shirt they were wearing? It was an Affliction shirt, with the motto “Respect is Earned” written in gothic font. You were probably too busy feeling disrespected to realize that his shirt was telling the truth: respect is earned, and you felt disrespected not because of the insult, but because you knew at that moment that you did not earn his respect, despite how sweet your custom playmat and deckbox look. He disrespected you because he did not see you as a peer, but as being lesser.
When you are facing an opponent, you fundamentally are disrespecting his ability to play by asserting your dominance. You may offer a handshake and a “good game,” but by the time you lined up your Squire to steal his last point of life, you felt superior. Inside, you were wearing that Affliction shirt. You earned your respect.
Your lands and spells must unify to challenge the fundamentals of your opponent’s strategy. In this case, his biggest creature.
When dealing with any element of Magic, from building a collection to defeating an opponent, you must have respect for yourself. Your goal is to not make friends, your goal is to be superior to all those around you. If your opponent does not respect you, he will crush you in short order. If you do not set out to earn respect, you have lost before you’ve begun.
Let’s do a little thought experiment: Go find a Jace. Any one will do, although it works better with the more expensive ones. Take a good, long look at it. Notice all the details: the hood, the cape, the squiggly glowing runes. That’s what the face of a winner looks like. But what’s his secret? It’s not his diversified stock portfolio; the secret is knowledge. It’s the face of a man who knows more things than his opponents do, and knows those things harder than they do. And now, that knowledge can be yours. Just keep these ten simple practices in mind, and you too can be a Jace.
______________________________
10. Recycle
9. Save Up
8. Only Hang Out With the Right People
7. Draw Cards
6. Know Your History
5. Always Spend Your Mana
4. Petty Theft
3. Wake Up Early
2. Mono-Red
1. Respect
______________________________
10. Recycle
“Whenever you play a card, draw a card.”
For 4GG and a few other hoops (specifically, shutting off your draw step), this is the benefit Recycle gives us, and the primary reason to play this Tempest enchantment. Its most straightforward application is to fire off lots of small spells, eventually accruing tons of card advantage by drawing more than one card per turn, ideally — but it comes at a cost.
Green is known as the color of extremes: small elves give way to large forces of nature, a symbolic representation of natural evolution existing as a microcosm of turns. As anyone who plays Commander will know, with so many decisions being made each turn, the turns begin to resemble epochs of growth and change — fitting for such a theme.
Deceptively powerful, Recycle is often cited as why green is no longer allowed to have card draw.
Recycle fits this theme perfectly. By the time turn six has arrived, life has developed on your board, and is blossoming and evolving in many strange ways. So too do your cards evolve: this change now comes quick, as each card played turns into something new and exciting. Life gives way to life.
Similar to Recycle is the card Greater Good: it helps to draw you cards based not off spells you’re casting, but from the spells you already cast. It features a similar discard mechanic, symbolic of Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection, in that only the strongest cards survive to stay in your hand.
Each of the five colors approaches this theme differently. Black exchanges life for cards (Phyrexian Arena, Necropotence), red assumes you want all your cards to be damage spells and offers appropriate sacrifices (Goblin Bomb, Char), blue trades mana and doing anything else well for cards. White is an outlier, keeping its theme of balance, neutrality, and stasis by not drawing cards at all, as change and evolution are bad for white thematically; instead, it staples card draw onto effects like life gain and small dudes (Renewed Faith, Decree of Justice.)
One could certainly argue that cards like Sacred Mesa draws as many cards as you can afford, as long as you’re okay with those cards being Pegasi.
When building a deck, it is important to remember what you want to see later as the game draws on, then to build with that goal in mind. Starting with a core game plan or ethos will help you decide what colors to play, as well. More important that victory is expressing what form you want that victory to take: do you want to overwhelm the opponent with flying horses, or with big beasts? The choice is yours.
______________________________
9. Save Up
Here’s a familiar scene: you’ve logged onto Cardshark, a freshly-deposited Best Buy paycheck on your bank card, ready to buy the last singles you need to crush the casuals at FNM next week. You get to the rares on your list, and recoil in horror as you realize a card that was fifty cents last week suddenly jumped to $2. In a fury, you slam your fist on the desk, lamenting that post you made on MTG Salvation about your sick tech, which drove prices up before you even had a chance to unsleeve your proxies. Suddenly, that 3 for $12 deal on twelve-packs of Mountain Dew seems as though it wasn’t a sound investment after all.
The internet is a double-edged sword: while it makes ordering singles and carving out new strategies easier, you also have to contend against millions of other players looking to get the small edges, many of whom may end up running your own deck against you before it makes its debut under your guidance. Ultimately, your success is built on cost-benefit tradeoffs: are you willing to trade your deck concept for those two or three cards that will push it over the top?
The same is true once you get into an actual game. Even if you can afford to build the deck, can you afford your spells? While Wizards of the Coast has shown some mercy by keeping basic land prices dirt-cheap, ostensibly so you have a chance of playing at all, many of the best lands are non-basic and suitably expensive.
Which is the bigger cost: 2 life or $10?
This is where you can carve a niche by saving money on mana to spend on spells. Cards like Urborg Volcano offer the same benefits as Blood Crypt, but at a much lower cost. Trade a turn for 2 life and $10? That’s a fair trade on any day: there is no point in giving your opponents free cards (e.g. Shock), especially when you’re trying to save your resources.
Many lament the practice of opening booster packs to score specific singles, but these players often do not understand cost-benefit ratios and how packs are structured. These players often overlook the three uncommons and eleven commons in an effort to score rares, assuming they are the best cards available and often filling their decks with 60 rares in a vain attempt to “be competitive.” The savvy player uses all the tools available to them, finding uses for cards oft-overlooked, only to dominate the competition because their opponents are simply unprepared for the deluge of cards they didn’t see a use for.
A “universally bad” rare that commands an 80-cent price tag? Someone out there knows something you don’t.
Someone else’s trash is your treasure, if you put your mind to finding a use for it. When you do, it’s your opponent’s cards that will seem like trash.
______________________________
8. Only Hang Out With the Right People
It’s 11:59 PM and the GPT is tomorrow morning. You have in front of you two items, seemingly meaningless to the casual observer, but monumentous for yourself.
To your left is a deck box containing the brew you plan on playing tomorrow, and with it the decision to get some more testing done.
To your right is a coupon for Denny’s, and it’s only good until 3 AM.
Did you wear a watch? Always wear a watch. Phones die.
Depending on how hungry you are right now, the choice is obvious. But it isn’t always: what if you want to test, but your friend Joey absolutely hasn’t shut up about food for like three hours now? Joey loaned you cards for your deck, but on the other hand Joey is a fat fuck who has to eat like all the damn time.
Joey is an example of a person you shouldn’t hang out with. On your journey to winning more, you can’t let Joey’s stomach get in the way of that delicious testing. Bill, on the other hand, has a coupon for Domino’s and figures that solves both problems — but he wants you to order because his phone is dead, putting your testing in jeopardy even though Bill appears at first to be a trusted ally. You’ve just lost a precious twenty minutes of testing because you were sorting out the order and then your phone died midway through so you have to plug it in and start all over. Bill forgot his charger at home of course, so by taking his suggestion you’ve gotten in your own way.
Pictured: what I look like when my phone dies.
If your true goal is to get testing done, both Joey and Bill are adversaries who seek only to undermine your testing with selfish desires, like eating dinner. Your victory will provide enough sustenance, and your morning hunger pangs will be sated by the tears of the fallen you leave in your wake.
When you have a goal, nothing can come between it and you, or you are setting yourself up for failure later.
______________________________
7. Draw Cards
This seems simple — it’s something you do every turn! But did you know that there are ways to turn this mundane action into a great source of card advantage, even when you aren’t drawing cards? For example, you can select to scry 2 instead, which is strictly better than drawing a card blindly: if you will, imagine the card you need in your mind, but may not need it right now. You can bank on the following turn’s needs with some simple planning, and after you get used to scrying 2 instead, you’ll feel like you’re cheating because of how much more valuable you’ve made your future draws.
With cards like Serum Visions, one blue mana has never been more useful.
If you’re unfamiliar with Mike Flores’ Peabody-winning article The Philosophy of Fire, I’ll summarize: one red mana is worth two damage, e.g. Shock, but unfortunately I stopped reading before he explained what one blue mana was worth so I’m going with Serum Visions (I immediately grabbed a stack of Shocks, 56 other cards, and put the theory to the test at FNM that night. I got disqualified because the other 56 cards were also Shocks, but I did get a participation promo.)
In a subsequent article, Critical Mass, he posted a decklist that featured Keiga, the Tide Star, then wondered why his deck was great: because Keiga, the Tide Star is easily the closest replacement for Serum Visions in the deck. For five extra colorless, and it’s a flying 5/5, it is exactly like one mana for drawing a card and scrying 2: when Keiga dies, he likely traded for another card on the way down (a creature in combat; a kill spell; the Legendary rule), and got to steal a creature to replace itself as well.
That’s three cards — just like Serum Visions. In other words, Keiga is a Serum Visions on legs.
“Ban everything until Keiga’s good, then ban Keiga and you’re done.” – Chris Pikula
But what if you don’t draw Keiga?
When it comes to winning games of Magic, your plays are ultimately defined by how many cards you drew. But even more important than drawing cards is what you choose to do with them. While the best cards in the game are ones that draw you more cards, it’s also important to eventually defeat your opponent.
______________________________
6. Know Your History
At one point, these two cards were identical. Take a moment to consider these cards if they had been printed back in 1993, when Magic first released.
Back in 1993, Stoneforge Mystic is functionally blank, because Equipment cards wouldn’t exist for another ten years. Mystic is considered “a mistake” in terms of power level, but Squire is largely considered unplayable, even though they both cost 1W for a 1/2 body.
This is a fatal error in deck building. Rather than rest on the notion that Squire is and will continue to be bad, always, instead flip the question on its head: how good does the text in the box have to be before a 1/2 for 1W is playable?
A hallmark mistake by Wizards. Can you imagine if this card said “scry 4”? Insane.
Now let’s consider another “mistake”: Tarmogoyf. By the Squire test, Tarmogoyf is imminently unplayable; he’s 1G for a 0/1, if we ignore the text in the box. But as current secondary-market prices and multiple reprints attest, that text is worth about $150, give or take.
Mindblowing, until you consider that Squire’s text comes from The Canterbury Tales, a book which sold for $7.5 million at auction. Squire takes a large portion of its text from the book, which is over 200,000 words — meaning each word is worth approximately $37.50. Suddenly, Tarmogoyf seems as quaint as sixpence next to Squire’s incredible value.
Notice: not a single word from Canterbury Tales, making Tarmogoyf effectively worthless.
Sometimes we have to take cards in historical context to understand why they are secretly powerful. Chaucer, the author of Canterbury Tales, did not write about Stoneforge Mystic, or about Tarmogoyf, but instead the secret power of the game he had discovered and revealed to us hundreds of years ago: Squire is truly a juggernaut from the past.
Only by knowing the history of the game as well as the history of the authors and geniuses who came before the game can you truly unlock your deckbuilding potential.