Allied Expedition Faces Inquiry 
Footprints in the Sand
March 26th, 2012
A poem of inspiration you may have heard before at the Isolated Chapel, or seen on your angel-figurine-hoarding aunt’s bathroom wall.
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You Want Me to What?
January 12th, 2012
Magic: The Gathering Officially Becomes Card Game
November 8th, 2011
After nearly two decades of quixotic experimentation as some sort of absurd professional sport, Magic: the Gathering, a fantasy-themed paper product sold at supermarkets and toy stores by Wizards of the Coast, a subsidiary of Hasbro corporation, has officially announced its return to its roots – a card game that people play for amusement and distraction.
More...DCI Bans Jace, Stoneforge Mystic Unless You Really Love Them
July 1st, 2011
Duelists’ Convocation International, the governing body of Magic: The Gathering sanctioned tournaments, issued its semiannual banned and restricted announcement last month, forbidding players of the Standard tournament format from including tournament powerhouses Jace, The Mind Sculptor and Stoneforge Mystic in their decks for sanctioned matches, with one exception – if they really, really love them.
More...Christopher Columbus
October 11th, 2010
Awww $#!%, it’s ON!
September 17th, 2010
(This article contains language.) ‘Sup my grizzlies. Big ups to my boy copper myr. Copper myr’s my boy, got me out here back in turn three, big ups to my boy copper myr. And big ups to my boy memnite. Little duder rolls small, but he rolls. You know you respect that. That’s what respect is about. And big ups to my new homie, Origin Spellbomb.
More...GyantSpyder’s Nothin’-but-Chaff M11 Set Review: White
July 28th, 2010
Welcome to GyantSpyder’s Nothin’-but-Chaff Set Review, M11 edition. My ratings are all for the same format: Shoebox in the Back of Your Closet Constructed. I might add commentary for other formats I play or hear other people talk about, but if I don’t mention a card, it’s probably because it thinks it is better than other cards, and I’m not interested in jerkface, persnickety cards like that.
More...Get Out of My Way, Bitches
May 14th, 2010
(Warning: This article contains language.) Even to a pig like me, it’s clear Zendikar is goin’ to slop.
More...Primordial Evil Scared of Pig with Teeth
May 7th, 2010
Emrakul, the Aeons Torn, a legendary evil from the Blind Eternities that blasts holes in space-time with its mind, stepped gingerly aside this afternoon to allow a pig with teeth to pass.
More...Still I Rise
April 16th, 2010
You may tap your collared sparkmage,
You may cut me from your 60,
You may kill me with the legend rule,
But still, like bread, I rise.