Can I Give You Two Life? 
The Vampiric Tutor’s Academy of the Arts
“Welcome to my innermost library of secret scrolls – you’ve been such a studious pupil all along, and so full of life! Since we both already know you’re here to learn more about Magic, let’s cut right to it. Ah ah ah!”
1. Cast a creature spell in your first main phase to trick your opponent into thinking you had your combat phase already.
2. Whenever your opponent casts a spell, make sure to touch a couple of your lands and make like you’re about to say something, but don’t. What were you about to do? Your enemies will keep guessing, but ever wrongly!
3. When tapping for mana, put a couple extra in your mana pool. You will never know when you might need it later, and your opponent will forget about it until it’s too late.
4. Every cantrip in your deck is equivalent to a land, so you can swap them out one for one. Good examples include Bandage, Zap, and Aphotic Wisps.
5. Land Grant works best in decks where you are unlikely to get land in your opening hand (or hands where you have a Gemstone Caverns). Load up on both and forsake normal lands.
6. If you’re playing White and keep losing to decks that have creatures attacking you, pack your deck full of Circles of Protection. This quick cover will allow you to sit back and relax while your enemies ram their men into your Circles. Eventually, you’ll draw a big spell you can use to win against your opponent’s army.
7. Play as many colors as you can, to make sure you have a card for every situation that may crop up. You never know who is going to show up and challenge you to a duel, and as a bonus, playing lots of colors will keep Angry Mob from wrecking you.
8. If you’re dueling in a location with bright lights, make sure to use all foil lands from different sets and with different borders. Due to this shimmering distraction, your fellow wizards won’t be able to survey your available mana effectively. Since you’ll have tested your deck beforehand, you will be immune to its blinding effects.
9. Once you have a couple lands in play, keep a couple in your hand and bluff that you’re holding useful spells. Make sure to look at them sideways to make it more convincing, since the only reason someone would do that is if it’s a split card. Since a crafty black wizard might try to Mind Rot you, add a Library of Leng to your deck. This will keep them from seeing the cards in your hand.
10. You can cast Vampiric Tutor to search for, you guessed it — another Vampiric Tutor. This will put the mind-screws on an opponent while you rack up dozens of virtual cards in your virtual card advantage IRA.
“My most valuable student, it seems you’ve run out of life… you were so close to winning the next GP, too.”
At those words, your Vampiric Tutor changes into a bat and flies away as you crumple to the floor, a bloodless husk!
