GG News: Elder Dragon Unable to Stop Man on Horse

Posted on Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 by slearch
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Posted in best of, gg news

Noted Elder Dragon Legend Vaevictis Asmadi is accustomed to being the big bad ruler of the battlefield.

But with the release of Master’s Edition III on Magic Online, he has been facing down some foes unlike any he’s seen before. Vaevictis was reached in his volcanic lair to describe one such encounter.

“When I first saw it I thought, ‘no big deal’ – just looked like your garden variety Tarpan or whatever. I figured I would just fly down there, break every bone in its body, roast it in my polychromatic flame, and devour its earthly form and ethereal soul,” he said.

But as what we know now as Shu Cavalry got closer and closer, eyewitness reports indicate that the venerable dragon’s grin slowly disappeared, beads of sweat the size of Muck Drubbs began to form on his brow, and 3 of his 7 testicles receded in an unprecedented display of terror.

“I was like ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT’, you know? There was a horse, right, but there was a GUY RIDING IT,” he recounted, visibly shaking at the memory.

“A GUY. Riding A HORSE,” he continued.

As the Cavalry drew near only one thing was clear to the great Scourge of All That Lives.

“There was no way I could go down there to stop it. Nuh-uh. NOOOOOO WAY.”

“I mean are you even listening to me? HE WAS RIDING A HORSE. I mean, shit man.”

 
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