Magic Arcana: I Want to Ride My Charcycle 
Glistener Elf Disqualified in Cheating Scandal
Pro Tour competitor Glistener Elf has been disqualified after testing positive to performance enhancing pump-spells.
Officials first become suspicious after they noticed heightened power and recklessness, a common side-effect of illegal pump-spells. An on-the-spot drug test was performed, and Glistener Elf’s maindeck sample confirmed the presence of Berserk, a banned steroidal pump-spell. This was enough evidence to warrant an immediate disqualification.
Following this, an investigation was launched, which uncovered footage from GP Omaha that showed a fifty-foot tall Glistener Elf encased in savage vegetation and leaking a viscous black liquid all over the feature match area. Glistener Elf’s sideboard sample, taken and stored after the top 8 at GP Omaha, was tested and found to contain elevated Invigorate-levels – consistent with illegal alternate-cost enhancement effects. This raised serious questions about the validity of the Phyrexian elf’s second place finish.
Calls for Glistener Elf to be banned have been around for a long time, dating back to the controversial Pro Tour Top 8 that the Elf earned on the back of an earlier alternate-casting substance called Blazing Shoal. While technically legal at the time, Blazing Shoal was quickly added to the prohibited substances list and the stigma of having knowingly used a zero-mana power-booster has cast a pall over Glistener Elf’s results ever since. Melira, Sylvok Outcast, spokesperson for the Mirran Pro Tour Organisation and vocal critic of Glistener Elf, has publicly said that allowing Phyrexians to compete on the Pro Tour “has tainted our great game and was obviously a misstep”.
This scandal, coming so soon on the heels of Deceiver Exarch’s recent cheating incident (the so-called Artifactgate), is yet another blow to Wizards of the Coast’s flagging public perception. WotC released a statement about the suspension of Glistener Elf: “We here at Wizards of the Coast take cheating incredibly seriously, and for engaging in egregious, repeated, and pre-meditated rules violations at the highest level of play Glistener Elf has been given an 18 month suspension and will not be fined. WotC looks forward to seeing Glistener Elf back on the GP Circuit in 4th quarter 2017, and we hope they enjoy the many MtGO (Magic: the Gathering Online) events they participate in during their suspension.”
Glistener Elf declined to comment for this article.
