Author: paz

  • Good Gamery Member Achieves Significant Win

    SEATTLE, WA – A noted member of Good Gamery split in the finals of a draft on Saturday. The momentous win took place during the perpetual Cascade Games Magic: The Gathering events concurrent with the Emerald City Comicon.

    This marks the 3rd draft finals split for Stan Patton, known as the despised/beloved “paz” on Good Gamery.

    “It was the kind of draft pool you dream about,” said paz. “Everything just came together. Man alive. Good gravy.”

    To acheive his noteworthy victory, paz had to overcome two insidious opponents. Those opponents were Good Gamery’s Skeletor and Good Gamery’s JSexton.

    “We didn’t even want to come,” said JSexton. “Paz was obsessed with drafting at least once during the weekend comicon. Thankfully he split, so we were able to go back to the hotel and play IRL Mafia with the ladies.”

    Skeletor was equally unenthused. “I haven’t played Magic for 6 years,” he said. “Paz helped me make my deck, for heaven’s sake.”

    Paz, however, gushed with energy, glowing with a luminescent aura that he believes only sanctioned Magic events can administer.

    “Thank goodness the other guy wanted to split, too,” Paz remarked. “He drafted a mill deck. Is this some scrub who got lucky? Or is this some draft archetype to which I’ve never been introduced? I didn’t want to find out.”

    After pressuring his friends to draft and drink with him, activities in which neither friends were eager to take part, paz said, “Man, this weekend ruled.”


  • Mirrodin Besieged: Mirrodin Master



    The Wizards sent me some early Mirrodin Besieged cards, so yesterday I (paz, beloved/despised leader of GG) battled Jim (br0dy), my co-worker and friend, for honor and the crown.

    First we played Mini-Master. I don’t know how you play Mini-Master, and apparently the rules vary by region and culture, but we play it by shuffling a booster pack and 2 of each land together into a deck. Also, we don’t look at the pack contents before playing.




    We shuffled up, and Jim won the coin-spin. His first three turns were Flayer Husk, Copper Carapace, and Phyrexian Rager. My first three were blank.

    Finally I got a Forest and was able to play a blocker, Rot Wolf. Jim answered with a Nested Ghoul, and then played Go for the Throat upon my Rot Wolf.

    Various things happened, but at this point, my board is blank, and he has a Carapaced Rager and a Husked Ghoul coming at me. Enter Quicksilver Geyser, a card that rules.

    The Geyser delays enough for me to start swinging with Lumengrid Gargoyle. Jim plays a Gargoyle of his own, but I take it with a Corrupted Conscience.

    I win.

    We laid out our packs, and 6 of the cards matched:



    (click for big version)


    We had one more pack to open, so we says to ourselves, “Hey, let’s bust this open, separate all the cards by faction, and make two 15 spell, 10 land decks, one of each faction, and FIGHT!!”

    And that is what we did.

    Stan’s Mirran Deck


    Jim’s Phyrexian Deck


    At first I thought Phyrexian was the sure favorite choice for this weekend, but now I’m not so sure. Mirran seems to have a lot of cool removal and effective weenies. I dunno. I don’t think I’d be that sad drafting Mirran in MB-MB-MB, especially if a lot of people go Phyrexian based on the spoiler.

    Anyway, I won through early Leonins and the Gust-Skimmer, equipped, with the Quicksilver Geysers to remove blockers when the doom bells began to chime. Also, Jim kept getting manascrewed.

    SO ENDS THE GREAT MIRRODIN-MASTER BATTLE



  • House GOP Moves to Repeal Ban/Restricted List

    WASHINGTON, D.C. – As many insiders expected, U.S. House Republicans formally introduced a new bill today, entitled “The Repealing the Job-Killing Ban/Restricted List Act.”

    “The American people are sick and tired of job-killing regulations. That was their message to us in November,” said new Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH). “They don’t want any sort of government, including metaphorical ‘governments’ like the DCI, stepping in and telling folks what they can and can’t put in their decks.”

    Several states, starting with South Carolina as always, have already taken legal steps to repeal the DCI’s ban/restricted list, calling it “social engineering.” The Federal bill is considered an attempt at generalizing that response nationwide.

    The act also removes the “4 card” restriction from the Magic rules.

    Television and radio personality Glenn Beck took the nation completely by surprise by being in lock-step with the Republicans. “If somebody wants to play 20 Black Lotuses in their Type 2 deck, are we going to say, ‘No, you should be punished for the lifetime of hard work that earned you those Black Lotuses’?” Beck asked.

    “We’ve seen this before. It’s called class warfare, socialism, communism, Nazism, Soviet Russia, the French Revolution, the fall of Rome, George Soros, and the execution of Christ,” Beck continued, excitedly drawing lines of chalk from one item to the next.

    Meanwhile, Senate Democrats have introduced a bill to broaden the scope of the Ban/Restricted list, called the “The Strengthen the Job-Creating Ban/Restricted List Act.”

    “First, we’ll mandate that the DCI’s ban/restricted list be updated every day,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV). “We’re assuming that updating text on a web page is a tough job, so we’ll pay someone a generously healthy salary and benefits package to do it. BOOM, one job created, right there.”

    “Then we’ll say that the DCI must hire 100 of the best Magic players and look at all their best decks, and then ban the most-played cards,” Reid continued. “The easiest and most efficient way for these Magic players to convey the content of their decks would be to pay for them all to fly first class to Renton, Washington from wherever they live in the world and bring their decks along with them. We’ll need to hire professional deck inspectors, professional player evaluators, engineers to build the private jets, crews to fly them…”

    “Jobs, jobs, jobs!” Reid added.

    The Democrats in the House, however, are responding to the House GOP’s proposal from another angle.

    “Calling everything [Congressional Democrats] do ‘job killing’ is false, misleading, and frankly not very nice,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said. “So that is why we’re introducing a bill to make it so they can’t use that term in their official legislation anymore. It’s called ‘The Job-Creating “No More Calling Anything ‘Job-Killing’” Act.’”

    But how would such a bill create jobs? “We’ll find a way,” Pelosi said while raising her eyebrows up and down repeatedly.

  • “Block Rogue” for iPhone/iPad Released!

    On this day, January 4, 2011, “Block Rogue” has been released for iPhone and iPad. The Good Gamery community has been eagerly following this project ever since its humble beginnings as a Silverlight prototype. Our beloved/despised leader, Paz, created this game, and has been working with his company, Buzz Monkey Software, to bring it to publication.

    And now it has happened!




    • Block Rogue is a puzzle game where each solution brings you one step closer to discovering the truth!
    • Progress is automatically saved! Jump in and out at your leisure.
    • Puzzle rooms are randomly-generated using ingenious and sinister algorithms for endless replay value!
    • Mind-bending room configurations, from standard push-block puzzles to complex amalgamations of roller-balls, switches, death-rays, and more!
    • Shockingly-deep lore with secret stories hidden throughout the game!



    Here’s where you’ll find it:



    But wait, there’s more!

    First, there’s the Block Rogue Facebook Page. You can go there and “LIKE” it to your heart’s content, and easily share it with your “BFFs.” “LOL.”

    Furthermore, there’s a cool Block Rogue Twitter, in which Ilbin’s memories share several secret online bonus puzzles. Solving the puzzles will reveal a secret about the game lore not found anywhere else!

    “Block Rogue” is the first published “indie” game to be affiliated with Good Gamery. Help us make it an awesome launch by relentlessly and annoyingly spreading the word to everyone you have ever met in your life. Thanks in advance!




  • Neurokmancer

    Venser’s journal, Mirrodin.

    7 cards – The grindclocks were striking sixty and the slick, dark tides washed in against the darkslick shores. I was new on the streets of Synod City, and had the distinct feeling I was not welcome. I had been summoned here for a reason, by some planeswalker in need, and I intended to help them however I could, as long as it involved exiling their permanents and returning them to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step. But first I had to find them – and finding a distressed mage in Synod City is a little like finding a pithing needle in a smokestack: difficult, and involving many references to artifacts.

    6 cards – No matter the world, the one place to go to find information cheap is a local tavern. I stepped in from the quicksilver rain to the least expensive-looking joint I could see: a hole in the ground named the Myr Reservoir. Even before my eyes had adjusted to the low, smoky light I realised exactly what kind of establishment I had wandered into: the robot patrons were hunched over darksteel tankards of a noxious, bubbling slime I recognised as Phyrexian oil.


    “INTERROGATIVE – What’s your poison, stranger?” An enforcer of a myr addressed me from behind the bar, his dishrag disintegrating even as he swabbed it against an infected glass.


    “You hear of any planeswalkers passing through town recently?” I asked the droid straight, leaning forward over the counter conspiratorially and giving a slow wink. I slid an argentum coin towards him.


    “CRYPTIC STATEMENT – Look for the negative girl.” Popping the coin into his mouth for metals analysis, the myr turned away to poison another customer, and I slipped out into the rain.

    5 cards – The Knowledge Pool stands at the heart of Synod City, its ducts criss-crossing from spire to spire carrying knowledge from every corner of town. It’s kind of like a public library, except the information doesn’t come free and certainly isn’t public. Still, being a planeswalker does have its advantages, and after renting a terminal I was quickly able to equip an infiltration lens and dive deep into the system’s more sensitive networks. Sure enough, I spotted a user on the server under the name ‘Negative Girl’, masking her presence with a dummy signal containing the nonsense message ‘selling gg 9’. She, too, was deep in the data banks, evidently searching for something not intended for her eyes. I launched a psychogenic probe in her direction to find out exactly why she had spent the 3WU to call me, and to my surprise received this instantaneous answer:


    ‘He’s coming. Not safe here. Meet me elsewhere.’


    And with that, she was gone, utterly traceless. Although I didn’t understand her warning, I closed my channels and yanked the terminal as quickly as I could – but not before I felt a trail of red mana light up the pathways I had been perusing a moment before. Whoever we were up against – whoever ‘we’ were – they meant business.

    4 cards – I’m not the magical hacker I used to be. I had spent the remainder of the day worrying about tracers planted in my mana pool or mana shorts in my access protocols left by the mysterious red mage I had so narrowly avoided; instead, true to his colour philosophy, he somehow tracked me to my hotel and blew the doors off in the middle of the night. I hurriedly attempted to planeswalk away and gather my wits, but he stopped me with a guttural response:


    “Stop!” Rivulets of magma ran through my assailant’s surprisingly perfect abs. As he prepared to turn me to slag, a grin spread across his face. “Hammertime.”


    They say a cat has nine lives; luckily, I had won a spare from Ajani last week in a poker game. Moments before a mountain fell on me I felt a current of white mana wash over the hotel, quite suddenly reducing the mountain, the guest rooms, and the creepily nubile leonin staff to so much rubble. There she was, the fourth most attractive female planeswalker to see print: my old acquaintance Elspeth Tirel. Was she the reason I was here in the first place?

    3 cards – The hotheaded local planeswalker had got away, and he knew both of our faces. Elspeth and I figured we had about 24 hours before he or someone else came looking. There was a lot to do in that time, but the most important thing was to catch up over a glass of tanglesap. We took a table at a bar called the Gilded Lotus and I asked Elspeth what was going on. Her story was odd, to say the least: she had come to Mirrodin after ‘a wizard told her’ that the Phyrexians were hiding a powerful artifact from her homeworld here. She claimed to understand the risk that she was walking into a trapmaker’s snare, but was determined to find out the truth. After running afoul of security she had called me in for my knack for making things unblockable, but her signal had been weakened by the damping matrix over the area. It was clear that Synod City was hiding something, but I was worried about what exactly we would find.

    2 cards – I decided to stick around and help Elspeth, even though I hadn’t got to exile anyone’s permanents the whole time I’d been here. It was partly that I wanted to help her reclaim her past from the Phyrexians, and partly that I hoped we could increase both of our loyalties by proliferating, if you know what I mean. The artifact she was after was being held in a phyrexian vault guarded by a mean customer named Geth. Getting in would be no trouble, but I would need a plan if I didn’t want his artificial claws to ruin my award-winning face. Equally troubling was the fact that Elspeth didn’t even know what the spoils of the vault looked like – she had been told it was a mox of some sort, but whether diamond or just chrome there was no way of telling. Given some more time I could have gotten help from someone like Jace to ensure my face’s safety, but the appearance of our bodybuilding friend cost us that luxury. This may be the last entry.

    1 card – I snuck my way into the heart of the vault with no opposition. Even Geth himself was a disappointment, in spite of his fearsome appearance – the obviously delusional man had an obssession with vampires and undead slayers, and kept muttering something about the ‘five seasons of the angel’. I cast a keldon twilight to keep him occupied, because I knew he’d enjoy it.
    Inside the final chamber a single shaft of light fell on a small, glimmering object on a kind of altar – like a scene out of a Zendikari adventure story. As I stepped closer I could see that the altar was actually a complex network terminal, with the gem acting as a sort of arcane modem. There was no way to remove it without disturbing the server, but I figured just grabbing the thing and leaving as soon as possible was still the safest option. The gem itself did not look at all like I had expected: it was not made of any mineral I recognised, and was cut into a strange shape, its detailed textures making it look almost like a human brain. Still, it was not for me to judge the artistic customs of Elspeth’s homeworld, so I yanked the mox and was gone.

    0 cards – I don’t know if I’d say I regret the mox job, but it certainly didn’t work out the way I had intended it to. The stone had not been a relic at all, but a kind of breaker keeping in check an AI the Phyrexians had developed. The intelligence, which called itself Gleemax, was now free to expand itself throughout the city, and, perhaps, the multiverse. It was Gleemax itself that had tipped off Elspeth in the first place, of course, but it at least shielded us from the Phyrexians and rewarded for our services; I got a really shiny new helmet that is going to make Garruk super-jealous.
    I don’t know what Gleemax plans to do with its newfound freedom. It’s stayed under the radar thus far, letting the Phyrexians believe they’re still in control. It mentioned something to me about a particular plane it wanted to find, and a particular order of sorcerors I’d never heard of. The wizards of the sea, or something? Time will tell. It’s been a long sojourn even by my standards, but now… I’ve got some proliferating to do.

  • Chris Carter Memorial Tournament (Salem, OR)

    Our very own Justin Sexton (JSexton) has been working with Cascade Games to organize the Chris Carter Memorial Magic Tournament event in Salem, OR, on Saturday, December 11 (tomorrow).

    The following is from the event information page at CascadeGames:

    On October 19th, 2010 the Magic community lost an amazing and talented player. Christopher Ross Carter was an active member of the local Magic scene, playing in tournaments since his early teens. From mentoring new players to building his own online Magic store to creating his beloved Cube, his hand was in every aspect of the game. Known for his risky and innovative play style, Carter made a name for himself that reached past his own circle of players.


    Just after midnight on October 13th, Chris was in a car accident on his way home from work. He was in a coma for almost a week before passing away. Christopher left behind the love of his life Michelle, his two beautiful daughters and three stepchildren. As avid a Magic player as Chris was, he was an devoted father and husband. He found a balance between his love for the game and love for his family. Spending the first 4 years as a stay at home dad, he gave his children precious moments with him that they will hold dear forever.

    This year Christopher ventured out to become the breadwinner and give his wife more time to spend with their children. Though he had less time for Magic he compensated by playing casual games with friends on lunch breaks and days off. He also hosted game nights, holding Cube drafts until odd hours after tucking his children into bed.

    Christopher Ross Carter was an amazing man, a wonderful father, a devoted husband and a memorable player in the Magic community. He will be missed.

    Many different sites and individuals have generously donated into an impressive prize pool. All proceeds from the event are going to be given to the Carter family.

    Check out the event information page at CascadeGames.com for more information.

  • Final Ggameria Introductions!





    Several weeks ago, you were introduced to the brand new plane of Ggameria, upon which the new set Events Upon Ggameria (GG1) will take place. You were additionally introduced to the five MONOCOLOR factions of the realm.

    Then, you had the pleasure of undergoing further Ggameria introductions, and you saw your first glimpse of the five FRIENDLYCOLOR factions.

    Ever since then, you have been checking Good Gamery every day, hoping and praying for the advent of the third GG1 preview article, where the five ENEMYCOLOR factions were waiting in secret.

    But now the secret is a secret no longer! HERE THEY ARE!





    GGAMERIA’S ENEMYCOLOR TRIBES




    Mole Kingdom ()

    The great and noble moles live in mountain burrows and are perpetually at war, above ground and below, against the corrupted Chipmuko. They guard the overworld from the forces of the underworld, and survey each canyon and shoreline from their majestic cliffcastles. Very proud and prone to knight almost anyone, the moles are great at leveraging their numbers and self-sacrificially dealing damage.

    Click here to see the mole preview card.



    Partying Faeries ()

    Unlike the downers and party-foulers of faeries past, these faeries have been on an epic bender for centuries, and don’t take kindly to faux pas like “needless war, dude” and “judging others, man.” Crash one of their parties with that attitude and you’ll get bounced back to your owner’s hand faster than you can say “Did you know that ‘Dark Side of the Pale Moon’ lines up with ‘The Wizard of Quoz!?’”

    Click here to see the partying faerie preview card.



    The Squizzidan ()

    Like the Chipmuko, the Squizzidan were orginally seen in Alternate Universe Mirrodin as the powerful “SquizzidanX.” With bodies like humans AND YET the heads of squids, they dwell in the highest stormy mountain peeks. As if that wasn’t bad enough, to stay alive, they must dunk their heads in waterfalls every few minutes. The Squizzidan excel at pinging wizardry and thriving in the face of adversity.

    Click here to see the Squizzidan preview card.



    Vegetarian Zombies ()

    As ravenous, unrelenting, and idiotic as their brainivorous cousins, these zombies have elected a more enlightened dietary lifestyle, preferring to mutilate and consume plants alone. They excel at being efficiently costed beaters and at explaining to you, in their delightfully monosyllabic manner, why their dietary choices are more ethical than yours, you Philistine.

    Click here to see the vegetarian zombie preview card.



    Werewolf Mafia ()

    Grayshadow City is a sprawling stone metropolis with casinos, offices, banks, and shops as far as the eye can see. But beneath the whitewashed exterior resides a sinister truth: The citizens of Grayshadow City are plagued by both the curse of the werewolf and by organized crime! If you run a shop, you’ll need to pay for protection. If you run a casino, you’ll have to pay the bosses back home. And if you want to move up in the world, you better keep your fur clean, your teeth sharp, and watch your back. The werewolf mafia is all about a new keyworded activated ability called Moonshift:

    Moonshift (0: Add a moon counter to this permanent, or remove all moon counters from this permanent. Use this ability only at any time you could play a sorcery, and only once each turn.)



    Click here to see the werewolf mafia card.



    Hope you enjoyed this third Events Upon Ggameria preview article. Next will be the CYCLES OF GGAMERIA!