Memnarch to Face Trade Descriptions Lawsuit

Posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 by Mobiusman
More articles by
Posted in gg news, mtg

GALDROON PALACE, MIRRODIN – Eccentric artificer Memnarch is due to appear in interplanar court after a number of Zendikari mages lodged complaints that they had been mislead regarding a new spell. The dispute appears to have arisen over Memnarch’s attempts to corner the leveling-up market.

“I’d heard about powerleveling from a friend of a friend,” one lighthouse chronologist told “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how difficult it is getting up to level seven on a plane like Zendikar, so I thought I’d try one out – not that they came cheap, mind you.”

“[It] looked like a Juggernaut to me.”
says one victim.

But this curious wizard was in for a nasty surprise. “When I cast the spell, this thing – looked like a Juggernaut to me, but I didn’t get a good look at it – just shows up and eats my entire lighthouse. It was the lighthouse that my father guarded, and his father before him, and now I can’t even Recall it back!”

Over in Guul Draz, a young assassin was having similar problems. “I’d just learned to Disfigure, and I having a kind of a party to celebrate. My friends said they’d picked up this spell that would allow them to Death Pulse, and, you know – I didn’t know if it was safe, but I didn’t want to look like a pussy. So they used this spell, and – the entire house is gone. My parents are gonna kill me.”

Flyers have been put up around the Cliffhaven area warning knights against using spells that may have come from Mirrodin, and a new magic security awareness program has been introduced in schools. “Times are dangerous enough as it is without these unreliable spells going off,” said a pair of local Kor Sanctifiers. “Whoever is selling this stuff ought to be ashamed.”

The ‘powerlevel’ magic has been linked back to Memnarch, the controversial Mirrodin Premier. A spokesmyr for the Panopticon had this to say: “The spells that were sold to fleshy Zendikari mages were exactly as described. Any miscommunication that may have occured was not the fault of the immaculate Watcher.”

Memnarch will appear at the Tower of the Magistrate next week before a Soulsworn Jury, but he is expected to pay W to return the Conviction to its owner’s hand.