Good Gamery

Category: ggameria

  • Final Ggameria Introductions!





    Several weeks ago, you were introduced to the brand new plane of Ggameria, upon which the new set Events Upon Ggameria (GG1) will take place. You were additionally introduced to the five MONOCOLOR factions of the realm.

    Then, you had the pleasure of undergoing further Ggameria introductions, and you saw your first glimpse of the five FRIENDLYCOLOR factions.

    Ever since then, you have been checking Good Gamery every day, hoping and praying for the advent of the third GG1 preview article, where the five ENEMYCOLOR factions were waiting in secret.

    But now the secret is a secret no longer! HERE THEY ARE!




    GGAMERIA’S ENEMYCOLOR TRIBES



    Mole Kingdom ()

    The great and noble moles live in mountain burrows and are perpetually at war, above ground and below, against the corrupted Chipmuko. They guard the overworld from the forces of the underworld, and survey each canyon and shoreline from their majestic cliffcastles. Very proud and prone to knight almost anyone, the moles are great at leveraging their numbers and self-sacrificially dealing damage.

    Click here to see the mole preview card.


    Partying Faeries ()

    Unlike the downers and party-foulers of faeries past, these faeries have been on an epic bender for centuries, and don’t take kindly to faux pas like “needless war, dude” and “judging others, man.” Crash one of their parties with that attitude and you’ll get bounced back to your owner’s hand faster than you can say “Did you know that ‘Dark Side of the Pale Moon’ lines up with ‘The Wizard of Quoz!?’”

    Click here to see the partying faerie preview card.


    The Squizzidan ()

    Like the Chipmuko, the Squizzidan were orginally seen in Alternate Universe Mirrodin as the powerful “SquizzidanX.” With bodies like humans AND YET the heads of squids, they dwell in the highest stormy mountain peeks. As if that wasn’t bad enough, to stay alive, they must dunk their heads in waterfalls every few minutes. The Squizzidan excel at pinging wizardry and thriving in the face of adversity.

    Click here to see the Squizzidan preview card.


    Vegetarian Zombies ()

    As ravenous, unrelenting, and idiotic as their brainivorous cousins, these zombies have elected a more enlightened dietary lifestyle, preferring to mutilate and consume plants alone. They excel at being efficiently costed beaters and at explaining to you, in their delightfully monosyllabic manner, why their dietary choices are more ethical than yours, you Philistine.

    Click here to see the vegetarian zombie preview card.


    Werewolf Mafia ()

    Grayshadow City is a sprawling stone metropolis with casinos, offices, banks, and shops as far as the eye can see. But beneath the whitewashed exterior resides a sinister truth: The citizens of Grayshadow City are plagued by both the curse of the werewolf and by organized crime! If you run a shop, you’ll need to pay for protection. If you run a casino, you’ll have to pay the bosses back home. And if you want to move up in the world, you better keep your fur clean, your teeth sharp, and watch your back. The werewolf mafia is all about a new keyworded activated ability called Moonshift:

    Moonshift (0: Add a moon counter to this permanent, or remove all moon counters from this permanent. Use this ability only at any time you could play a sorcery, and only once each turn.)



    Click here to see the werewolf mafia card.


    Hope you enjoyed this third Events Upon Ggameria preview article. Next will be the CYCLES OF GGAMERIA!


  • Further Ggameria Introductions!





    A couple weeks ago, you were introduced to the brand new plane of Ggameria, upon which the new set Events Upon Ggameria (GG1) will take place. You were promised 15 beautiful tribes at which to gaze and to revere, but were only given the 5 monocolor tribes.

    Ever since then, you have been checking Good Gamery every day, hoping and praying for the advent of the second GG1 preview article.

    The aforementioned advent? Upon us, bro!




    Today we’ll be talking about Ggameria’s ALLIED COLOR PAIR TRIBES. Behold.


    The first is the sentient plants (), with fungi included out of pity. What if every blade of grass, every tree, every weed, and every mushroom had desires, wishes, goals and dreams? An earth-shattering notion, is it not? That’s Ggameria; every revelation is more mindblowing than the last. The sentient plants are not too keen on attacking others, but enjoy helping out in other ways. Better get a decapitation permit before mowing the lawn.

    Click here to see the sentient plant preview card.


    Then come the Skychickens (). While secretly unable to fly of their own volition, they have done everything in their power to convince the other factions that they can. Their capital city floats among the clouds of Ggameria, hovering all about, depositing armor-clad crusaders wherever the king decides is lacking in justice. So while they’re not very good at flying, they’re pros at temporarily flying.

    Click here to see the Skychicken preview card.


    Cowabunga, dudes! The landsharks () are comin’ at ya, full-force and full-throttle. These extreme fish are after only three things: Radicality, tubularity, and gnarliness. To obtain them, the landsharks live life on the edge, whether it’s raging in the mosh pits or defying death with extreme sports and stunts. Needless to say, this is very intimidating to others. I’ll even bet you just wet your pants just now, you little baby! Hah, that’s what I thought.

    Click here to see the landshark preview card.


    Next up are the dryad giantesses (). Combining the serenity of the forest with the raw size and power of the mountains, these ladies are ready to assert themselves. Being dryads, most have Forestwalk, and being giantesses, most are very large. How did they get so big, you ask? Oh, there’s an explanation, but I’m afraid it’s one of the numerous mysteries of Ggameria, waiting to be unlocked!

    Click here to see the dryad giantess card.


    Finally, we have the Chipmuko (), a united tribe of barbarian chipmunks. We were first introduced to the Chipmuko in Alternate Universe Mirrodin. But from where did the Chipmuko truly originate? Regardless, the Chipmuko on Ggameria have been corrupted over time, giving up the purity of redness alone and embracing the darker arts. Living in mountain burrows, they are perpetually at war with another Ggamerian faction, who also lives in mountain burrows, generating tension. The Chipmuko enjoy being a Goblin-like sligh faction and triggering abilities upon entering the battlefield.

    Click here to see the Chipmuko card.


    Hope you enjoyed this second Events Upon Ggameria preview article. Next will be the ENEMY COLOR PAIR TRIBES!


  • Introducing Ggameria





    You’ve seen it on the Internet. You’ve overheard your buddies at the local card shop talking in hushed and excited tones about it. Your mother even tells me that it’s the most stimulating thing in her life right now.

    But what is Ggameria?

    Why, Ggameria (gǝh-MƏH-ree-yuh) is a brand new plane in the Magic: The Gathering multiverse! And it just so happens to be the setting for the upcoming Magic set, enitled Events Upon Ggameria.





    Set: Events Upon Ggameria

    Abbreviation: GG1

    Block: Ggameria

    Cards: 300

    GG1 is not a joke set in the style of Unglued or Unhinged; none of the spells ask you to throw cards around like Frisbees or to take off your pants. It does have a lot of jokes, however (subtle jokes in card function, ridiculous flavor text, etc.), so feel free to LOL out loud as your gut directs.

    GG1 can be used as a stand-alone set or played with other Magic cards.


    Surely this news has caused your face to melt and brain to explode. But I’ll keep making this article anyway as a matter of principle.


    The plane of Ggameria is the only plane in the multiverse that entirely rests upon a creature. A massive, plane-sized turtle, to be exact. That turtle’s name is Ggamerion. His disposition is pleasant, but the action upon his back is anything but!

    That’s because Ggameria is home to no less than 15 different tribes. All of the tribes hate each other. And the intratribal situation isn’t very peaceful either. And all of this, while bad news for the tribes, is great news for a Magic player, who enjoys the thrill of Magical conflict far more than just sitting around the card shop, talking about plotholes in Star Trek movies.

    Anyway, tribal conflict = fun Magic. But who are these tribes? What’s their deal, anyway? Let’s take a look!

    We begin with the 5 monocolor tribes, whose flavor is so centered upon their piece of the color pie that Mark Rosewater himself would write 28 design articles about each one if WOTC employees were allowed to read about Ggameria. Which, of course, is forbidden.


    The first is the homunculi. These amorphous, tentacled abominations enjoy drawing cards, countering spells, and long walks on the beach — because they’re the mono blue tribe! The homunculi are one of the youngest races on Ggameria. But who created them? and for what purpose? Secrets.

    Click here to see the homunculus preview card.


    Then come the humans. Whereas humans on Earth come in a variety of colors and tones, humans on Ggameria are all white. And thus, they are the mono white tribe! The humans gather in little towns, work endlessly to perfect their little houses, elect inept governors, have too many children, and eagerly take advice from corrupt religious leaders. But more importantly, they often have activated abilities that target others and abilities that trigger when they’re targeted. Just like your average white collar office environment.

    Click here to see the white human preview card.


    Who’s next? The turtles! Called the Testudians on Ggameria, these quiet, elderly, shamanistic forest-dwellers would like nothing more than to find lands and generate mana in peace, as they’ve done for thousands of years. But these damn whippersnapper tribes with their hootin’ and a-hollerin’ are making that real tough. Turtles do not have a significant presence in the first set, Events Upon Ggameria. You’ll see why later.

    Click here to see the Testudian preview card.


    Next come the fiery amazon elementals. This perpetually aflame, all-female tribe of warrior-vixens is led by the Queen of Flames, Kylorra. Why no males? “Fire ‘reproduces’ just by touching flammable materials,” Kylorra told us while making “air quotes” with her flame fingers. “Frankly, there’s just no need for males.” The elementals excel at doing “red stuff”: fire-breathing, direct damage, haste, stuff like that. You know what I’m talking about.

    Click here to see the fiery amazon elemental preview card.


    Finally, we have the demons. Like the Testudians, the Ggamerian demons are a very ancient tribe. Once, the demons practiced villainy, killed recklessly, administered misanthropy, and wreaked general havoc. But millenniums is long y’all, and to be quite honest, the demons have run out of things to do. Now, they just kinda hang out while liking artifacts and milling people.

    Click here to see the ancient bored demon preview card.


    Now it’s time for a little FAQ.

    Q: Uh, what about the other 10 tribes?

    A: Stay tuned! More Ggameria articles to come! Up next is ALLIED COLOR PAIR TRIBES.

    Q: When will GG1 be released?

    A: Patience, my friend! A future Ggameria article will announce the Advent of GG1, with instructions for playing through Magic Workstation.

    Q: Okay cool.