“When I came to, I found myself chained to the wall of a dark, dank dungeon that smelled vaguely of swamp gas. Which wasn’t that surprising; that’s par for the course after a night with Liliana. What was surprising was seeing Chandra Nalaar down there.”
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Around the world, Magic Online players are steeling themselves for an upcoming surge in hypocrisy coinciding with the Theros prerelease, feared to be the worst in recorded history.
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“When I came to, I had no idea where I was, which seemed to be the theme for the day. But in a welcome change, I didn’t actually hurt any more. I was laying prone and my cheek was stuck to something.”
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“Battlewise Hoplite is a pretty awesome 2/2 human for two. Being able to scry for one AND put a +1/+1 counter on him every time you hit him with a spell seems fantastic.”
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Kalimera, Good Gamerers! Through skullduggery and gumption, our friend Jethro has managed to sneak a peak at 5 new cards from the upcoming set, “Theros!” Don’t be Hellenvious; he’s sharing the information with us all, via perfectly-crafted, grammar-impeccable MSE proxies.
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“‘As articulate as ever, Robert. Having a bad day?’ I stiffened. I loathe being called Robert. There’s only one person that ever calls me that. A person whom, not coincidentally, I also loathe.”
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“I have a wide assortment of spells of all varieties, from this realm’s ferocious creatures, to the latest advances in arcane sorcelation, to artifacts forged in the hottest of Rath’s ferocious furnaces! From abbey gargoyles to Zuran spellcasters, Fizzwand has it all!”
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“When I came to, I was alive, which was a great start. But it quickly went downhill. The hangover I’d had got together with the beating the tarmogoyf had given me and had little headache babies inside my head.”
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“Obviously the flavor of this card is a perfect fit with Greek fairy tales,” says Wizards spokesperson.
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Second Shadowmoor Preview Booster Surfaces 
