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  • Flavor Text Quiz: Real or Fake? #1

    Magic’s flavor text is one of the most important parts of what makes a Magic card what it is. Besides helping to flesh out the fictional worlds of the Multiverse, flavor text can also bring characters to life in memorable ways, or allow the designers of the game to sneak in some humor and whimsy into their grimdark fantasy realms. Is your inner Vorthos ready to take a dip in the sweet sweet waters of Lake Flavor Text? Prepare yourself for the ultimate flavor text challenge: Are the flavor texts below real or fake? Scroll down to begin!

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    #1. Basic senses like sight and taste are reserved for those in power.

    #2. There’s more than one way to crack a skull.

    #3. “I’m in charge now!”

    #4. “I could promise you a quick death. But it would be a lie.”

    #5. “Once more into Devil’s Breach, soldiers. I want another devil tail for my collection.”

    #6. With Tezzeret judging, the Inventors’ Fair is anything but.

    #7. Go big and go home.

    #8. “Your creations are effective, Sheoldred, but we must unite the flesh, not merely flay it.”
    — Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite

    #9. It has two paws and one maw.

    #10. “Show them. Show them how hot your fire can burn.”
    — Liliana Vess, to Chandra Nalaar

    #11. “Smarter than death? Let’s see you outsmart my mace, necromancer!”

    #12. There are two punishments in en-Kor culture, to be burned, or to be spurned. Every en-Kor has chosen to be burned without hesitation.

    #13. She’ll make you a deal you can’t refuse. And if you do refuse it, she’ll make you another deal. One you’ll wish you could refuse.

    #14. “You keep talking, but the only words I’m hearing are ‘go’ and ‘fast’.”

    #15. Bores ruin a party. Boars are party to ruin.

    #16. “I will join you so that you will not yet join me.”

    #17. It is the thing that goes bump in the night.

    #18. “When the world is running down, you make the best of what’s still around.”

    #19. Their language may be a cacophonous agglomeration of chittering snorts and mad barking, but the message they send is all too clear.

    #20. “Try this on for size!”

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    Answer key:

    #1. This one is REAL. It’s on Phyrexian Revoker, from the set New Phyrexia.
    #2. This one is FAKE.
    #3. This one is FAKE.
    #4. This one is FAKE.
    #5. This one is REAL. It’s on Thraben Valiant, from Avacyn Restored.
    #6. This one is FAKE.
    #7. This one is FAKE.
    #8. This one is REAL. It’s on Skinrender, from Scars of Mirrodin.
    #9. This one is FAKE.
    #10. This one is REAL. It’s on Diabolic Tutor, from Kaladesh.
    #11. This one is REAL. It’s on Ash Zealot, from Return to Ravnica.
    #12. This one is FAKE.
    #13. This one is FAKE.
    #14. This one is FAKE.
    #15. This one is REAL. It’s on Crashing Boars, from Exodus.
    #16. This one is REAL. It’s on Drogskol Shieldmate, from Eldritch Moon.
    #17. This one is REAL. It’s on Mindslicer, from Odyssey and Ninth Edition.
    #18. This one is FAKE.
    #19. This one is REAL. It’s on Heckling Fiends, from Dark Ascension and Conspiracy.
    #20. This one is FAKE.

    If you scored…

    16-20: You are the living embodiment of Vorthos! Or you work in the flavor text department. If you’re in the second group, hello!

    10-15: Your coin flipping worked to your benefit! I can think of one goblin it ain’t so lucky for.

    5-9: Your coin flipping worked out poorly! Are you the kind of goblin who’d lose their thumb in a wager, then come right back with “double or nothing”?

    0-4: You are fuel for the Magmaw! That’s not related to your performance on the quiz, it’s just a general fact.

  • Announcing From the Vault: Obvobvobv

    Play Magic the Way it’s Meant to Be Played

    Sling the most updated spells in the multiverse with this collection of sixteen of the most Oracle-accurate cards in Magic’s history. We’ve updated the rules for these recognizable, black-bordered, tournament-playable cards. You and your opponents will know exactly what these cards do when you see them.

    Contents and Details

    • 16 Premium foil cards, including 0 with new art.
    • An exclusive Spindown™ life counter.
    • A collector’s guide, redeemable online at magiccards.info or scryfall.com.
    • Each card has been printed using a foil process unique to the From the Vault series. They have not been treated for warping.
    • From the Vault: Obvobvobv will be available world-wide in English only, and will have a nonexistent print run.
    • All cards are black bordered and tournament legal. This means that these cards are legal for use in any tournaments where the original printings are still legal. This should not be construed as advice, legal or otherwise, to actually play these cards in tournaments, or to play the game at all.

    Please use the hashtag #MTGV18 for discussing this product on Twitter!

    Credits

    Product Concept and Development: A couple of nameless interns that have already been fired
    Release Date: April 1, 2018
    Magic Online Release Date: April 20, 2018
    MSRP: $34.99 *Applies to U.S. Only

  • The Oxidation of the Mirrodin Small Town

    The streets of Bismont, Tinnessee are quiet these days, but it wasn’t always like that. This small town, nestled in the shadow of the great furnace, was once a thriving mining community. Like many towns in the once thriving region of the plane called the rust clamp, Bismont sits on a large deposit of artifact, and the town’s whole economy revolved around mining it.

    “It used to be that everyone who needed a job could get one in the mines” said Slobill, a 75-year-old retired krark-clan grunt. I met Slobill at a diner on main street, one of the few businesses still open. He lost a hand to a shrapnel blast, and a son to a runaway megatog. Nevertheless, he wishes the mine was still open. “We used to make stuff in this country. Everything used to be powered by artifact lands. The ironworks, the frogmite factories, heck I even knew a guy in Mephidross who just wanted people to destroy artifact lands in front of him. But now, with all this government regulation, no one uses artifact lands anymore.”

    Artifact lands, once the premier energy source of the multiverse, fell out of favor when the DCI discovered the harmful effect that pollution from sacrificing these lands had on the metagame. As the fifth sun rose for the first time, a flurry of new regulations and treaties severely limited the use of artifact lands across the multiverse, forcing the mine here to shut down.

    Many here in Bismont are hopeful that the election of a new Praetor, Elesh Norn, will usher in an age of deregulation that will lead to massive demand for artifact lands. “I’m sure that any day now, there will be some sort of Battle for New Phyrexia, and then everyone will be clamoring for the mines to reopen to power their Inkbound Ravagers and Greater Frogmites” Slobill’s wife Korva, Vulshok Homemaker, tells me. But Slobill isn’t so sure. “Sure, everyone used to want artifacts to power their furnace dragons and broodstars, but can we really compete with these new alternate energy sources like natural gas or cats. I just don’t know.”

  • ChannelFireball Announces Changes

    Channel Fireball has announced changes to their tournament system and floor rules after last week’s disastrous announcement:

    – You may now earn byes only via lottery. You get one entry to the lottery for every $10 you spend on the site.

    – In addition to not being allowed to trade with other players at events, you also are no longer allowed to speak to or gesture to other players without a vendor present.

    – Any card that is sold out at the Channel Fireball dealer table is banned for the duration of the event (updates each round.)

    – To prevent wasted time from players appealing bad rulings, all judge calls will be responded to by the head judge.

    – You’re allowed byes at team GPs, but only if you spend it with someone who insists on making you look at his build and going through his reasoning on a card-by-card basis.

    – All decks must be purchased on site from licensed vendors.

    – Making eye contact with judges now punished as Unsporting Conduct – Disrespect.

    – Eye contact with the head judge is Unsporting Conduct – Lèse-majesté.

    – No outside food or drink permitted. Why not partake instead of the tasty selections offered by the Channel Fireball food cart, which you can purchase with prize tickets?

    – Side events to be capped at 1 round with all 1-0 players receiving a single booster pack.

    – All players must be insured against mana screw for the duration of the event.

  • The Treasures of Thanksgiving

    Celebrate Thanksgiving this year with these life-like Treasure tokens. Cranberry sauce not included.

  • Exclusive Unstable Preview!

    Those of you familiar with us know that there’s two things we love here at Good Gamery: Magic cards, and humor. So when we heard Unstable was coming out soon, we reached out to Wizards for a preview, and we got one!

    We’ve been asked to only show the back of this card but we’re sure you’ll agree it looks like it could be a very exciting card:

  • Rivals of Ixalan: Visual Spoiler

    Pirates and Dinosaurs? Why not both at the same time?

    IXALAN Logo

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    View the stand-alone spoiler website!