Good Gamery

Tag: ToadBrews

  • Wizards Announces Plan to Reprint Reserved List

    In an announcement that stunned players and collectors everywhere, Wizards of the Coast officially announced today that they will be reprinting the Reserved List. Previous policy at Wizards has been to never even consider reprinting the list, but Mark Rosewater explained that dwindling copies of the list has forced their hand. “There’s just not enough to go around. We need the list to be available both internally at Wizards and to players at eternal events for formats like Legacy and Vintage. The list has been especially important to collectors and we want to make sure future collectors will have full access to it.”



    The Reserved List.

    The Reserved List is a list of Magic: the Gathering cards that Wizards of the Coast has promised never to reprint. The list was revised in 2010, and so all extant copies are over a decade old. Players of formats like Legacy have become increasingly concerned as available copies become harder and harder to find, while prices for early editions are often far out of reach for new gamers looking to collect a piece of Magic history.

    The Wizards legal team almost never comments on matters like this, however I was granted limited access to the Pit of Eternal Torment at the company’s Renton, Washington headquarters to meet with company lawyers. “We do not anticipate any legal trouble as a result of reprinting the Reserved List, even at the quantities modern needs will force us to produce. The value of the list is actually quite low on the whole, so even collectors who currently own multiple full sets of the reserved list won’t stand to lose much money when we reprint it. And of course, there’s no secondary market concerns to speak of.”

    When I began to ask what he meant by this, he vanished into a cloud of sulfurous vapor and a horrible tittering laughter drove me back out into the energy-saving LED lights of the cafeteria.

    While plans have not been finalized, it’s likely that the entire list will be reprinted in black and white on standard 9×11 printer paper so that it can easily be added to trade binders and stapled to office documents as necessary.

  • The Great Designer Search

  • ChannelFireball Announces Changes

    Channel Fireball has announced changes to their tournament system and floor rules after last week’s disastrous announcement:

    – You may now earn byes only via lottery. You get one entry to the lottery for every $10 you spend on the site.

    – In addition to not being allowed to trade with other players at events, you also are no longer allowed to speak to or gesture to other players without a vendor present.

    – Any card that is sold out at the Channel Fireball dealer table is banned for the duration of the event (updates each round.)

    – To prevent wasted time from players appealing bad rulings, all judge calls will be responded to by the head judge.

    – You’re allowed byes at team GPs, but only if you spend it with someone who insists on making you look at his build and going through his reasoning on a card-by-card basis.

    – All decks must be purchased on site from licensed vendors.

    – Making eye contact with judges now punished as Unsporting Conduct – Disrespect.

    – Eye contact with the head judge is Unsporting Conduct – Lèse-majesté.

    – No outside food or drink permitted. Why not partake instead of the tasty selections offered by the Channel Fireball food cart, which you can purchase with prize tickets?

    – Side events to be capped at 1 round with all 1-0 players receiving a single booster pack.

    – All players must be insured against mana screw for the duration of the event.

  • Kim Jong Un Announces Successful Test of New EDH Deck

    Kim Jong Un, Supreme leader of North Korea, has issued the following press statement:

    “I have designed and tested a glorious and unstoppable new combo, which the senile judge Sheldon Menery will be helpless to defeat. It is so simple a child could win with it, but so brilliant and intricate that only a living god could bring it to fruition! I have chosen as my commander the legendary Phelddagrif, a true democratic people’s champion. Phelddagrif allows me to assemble a powerful combination of tutors, draw spells, and ramp effects to bring the full and terrible power of my combo to bear!

    “Allow me, briefly, to explain its full potential: The heart of the combination is this majestic Korean foil Triskelion, in gem mint condition. See how it catches the light. After the Triskelion has been summoned, I will then cast this Chinese foil Doubling Season. Also gem mint, and protected by a full three layers of sleeves! The final piece of the combo is this Russian Rite of Passage. It is not foil, but even now I have a literal army scouring the finest shops in the glorious People’s Republic for a foil one.

    “You see, with all these pieces laid out, I have fully assembled a winning position! Very soon I expect to use this devastating combo in a real game, for the highest stakes imaginable! Sheldon, the feckless dotard, might try to stop me with his beloved Krosan Grip, but look!”

    At this, The Korean leader turned over his deck to reveal a Privileged Position, altered to show him riding a dragon while laying waste to what appeared to be Wizards of the Coast headquarters. “The incredible power of these cards was immediately evident to me, and when I was able to secure the Russian and Chinese cards from sources which will for now remain anonymous, I knew then that my destiny was before me!”

    The EDH rules committee says they have no plans to ban Triskelion, Doubling Season, or Rite of Passage; but reminds players that Commander is a casual format and individual playgroups may ban or unban cards as they wish.

  • Gravecrawlers Refuse To Stand For Hymn To Tourach

    Controversy is growing this week as more and more zombies are remaining on the ground during the traditional Hymn. We reached out to well known Necromancer and member of the Gatewatch, Liliana Vess:

    “I am absolutely disgusted at this behavior. These mindless freaks don’t seem to appreciate all the empires that have fallen because of the Hymn. It is incredibly disrespectful for them to just drag themselves around looking for delicious brains while Hymn To Tourach is on the stack. It was bad enough before when they just refused to block, but this is the last straw. I am strongly considering replacing all of my Gravecrawlers with skeletons or ghosts if this continues.”

    Gravecrawler first began his career six years ago. A strong showing as a rookie tapered off when his set rotated out of standard, and he has spent a lot of time on the bench in the last few seasons. Many fans are skeptical of the protest, saying it’s just a stunt for the fading star to try to reclaim the spotlight, however briefly. The prevailing opinion seems to be that Gravecrawler just doesn’t have the numbers to deserve a spot in any competitive decklists.

    Gisa Cecani, a ghoulcaller from the plane of Innistrad, had a different view on the matter. “You have to understand, the Hymn doesn’t mean the same thing to Gravecrawlers that it does to us necromancers. Historically, Gravecrawlers have been the victims of discard, very often at the hands of people they thought they could trust. That’s something the average Lord of The Undead has never experienced. And it’s not like the Gravecrawlers are hurting anyone. They still do their job, attacking for two every turn, no matter how many times they get tackled.”

    The Hymn To Tourach has a storied history, seeing play in many formats for as long as it has existed. A perennial favorite of Necromancers and Demonologists alike, it has until now demanded a great deal of respect. But recent criticism of randomness in Magic has set off a gravestorm of controversy, and it looks like the Hymn has taken the brunt of the abuse.

    At a recent Legacy Grand Prix, an entire playset of Gravecrawlers took to the battlefield during a feature match, and not a single one of them stood for the Hymn. Players seem to be taking the controversy in stride, but fans are outraged, especially Liliana.

    “Look. I would totally stop keeping watch over this if I could. But I took an oath. And, for as long as it’s convenient to me personally, I will take that oath seriously.”

    Jace Beleren, an associate of Miss Vess; and Vraska the Unseen, another planeswalker familiar with Zombies, were mysteriously unable to be reached for comment.

    When we finally tracked down a Gravecrawler and questioned him about his refusal to stand, he only had this to say: “This was never about the Hymn. I don’t have any legs.”

  • Homarids Officially Declared Extinct

    Homarids declared extinct in the wild, Camarid breeding program on last legs

    “This is a disaster, an absolute disaster.”

    I was sitting with Thoruzon One-Thumb, the archmage in charge of lobsterman studies at Tolaria West.

    “What we have here is an indication that something is going wrong in the oceans. Dominaria’s native homarids are being pushed out of their ecological niche by other species that have been introduced by reckless planeswalkers.” One-Thumb was excited to talk to me, gesticulating wildly as he described the marine biology off the Otarian islands.

    “The homarids only really thrived during the great ice age of course, but they managed to maintain a stable population afterwards for quite a long time.”

    I asked him what had changed. “In a word? Slivers. When the Riptide Institute started breeding slivers, there wasn’t a lot of room left for noncompetitive creatures. Power levels had to rise, and while a rising tide may lift all boats, it often gives homarids -1/-1. And when these new slivers showed up, well, it took a while but now there just aren’t any homarids left.”

    One-Thumb took me out to the spawning beds on his magical dinghy. “You can see here, this whole shallow area used to be covered in camarid eggs. But between the Slivers and the Phyrexian oil spill, there’s just nothing.” He lowered his staff into the ocean water and dredged up a few egg fragments instead of drawing a card. “This is it for the once proud homarid race, unless we can do something.”

    Homarid Spawning Bed Magic Card This is where the Academy at Tolaria West comes into the picture. They’ve managed to open portals through time and snatch up unsuspecting homarids to breed in the present.

    When I asked if they were worried they might cause a temporal paradox, that they might grab a homarid that was important to the timeline, the researchers just laughed. “There were no important homarids” explained Vizra Nine-Finger. “Outside of Time Spiral limited, none of them ever saw any real action, so we can grab whatever we want. And what we want is big strong breeding stock like this fellow — whoa, almost turned into Vizra Eight-Finger there!”

    Later that evening in the Tolarian Tavern, I sat with the research crew. What made them choose homarids? “Well, the grant money is good,” Nine-Finger explained.

    One-Thumb was quick to add, “and they’re just homarids. Nobody expects much from our research. But in a way, it’s also a labor of love. We all love Homarids. Especially with melted butter.”

    The future looks bleak for these majestic lobster people of the Dominarian sea, with slivers still roaming the shores and a thriving market in their flesh. But with a return to Dominaria, perhaps new tribes of Sea Lobster men will come to the attention of players. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will be constructed playable.

  • Odric, Flippy Flappy Tactician

    Boy, Odric, Lunarch Marshal sure can grant a lot of abilities! Here’s a look at the original design. We shaved a number of keywords after development raised concerns about “rules confusion”, “tournament time limits”, “shuffling nightmares”, and “how on earth would you even print this”. Take a look for yourself if you want to really flip out!


  • FyrexianSurvivr’s “Journey Into Nyx” Review

    Welcome to the definitive Journey into Nyx set review! If you missed our Theros set review and our Born of the Gods set review, that’s because I didn’t write them. I was hibernating in my comfy cave, but now the temperature is rising and it’s time for me to wake up and give you…this:

    White

    Aegis of the Gods
    2/5
    You know how you mulligan, and your hand is pretty good, and then your opponent plays turn one Thoughtseize and takes your most important card and suddenly your hand is awful? Well, that will still happen because Thoughtseize costs one and this costs two and they didn’t reprint Lotus Petal. I have a hard time believing a creature with one toughness that costs mana is better at this effect than Leyline of Sanctity in eternal formats either. This card is better than True Believer, though, because true believer doesn’t let you play Cabal Therapy targeting yourself naming splendid genesis and confusing the hell out of your opponent.

    Ajani’s Presence
    2.5/5
    Aww, thanks Ajani, you shouldn’t have. We already have Boros Charm as an answer to wraths in WR decks, and Boros Charm is better. However, I think this card is better than Rootborn Defenses unless you are populating a wurm token or something. This triggers heroic and pumps power, so it can also answer Golgari Charm and Drown in Sorrow sometimes, which boros charm can’t. I definitely expect this card to see play.

    Akroan Mastiff
    0/5
    Two mana tappers occasionally show up in weird metagames. I can’t imagine a 4 mana one showing up anywhere.

    armament of nyx
    2/5
    This is playable if you are rocking some beefy enchantment guys, but I’d definitely board it out if they don’t have guys you need to pacify.

    Banishing Light
    5/5
    This card is just like Oblivion Ring, except if you are playing an Oblivion Ring / March of the Machines / Crystal Shard / Mycosynth Lattice deck. Which, you probably are, because honestly how do you even beat that deck you don’t even get to have any lands. Nice splinter twin deck, NOOB.

    Dawnbringer Charioteers
    2.5/5
    More like yawnbringer charioteers, amirite guys? You know what is sick with this card? Gift of Orzhova. Your opponent will destroy your aura to stop you from gaining life and flying, but little do they know the power to fly and lifelink was inside the charioteers all along! This card is good against aggressive decks with small guys but we had 2/4 flying lifelink guys before and they sucked so you need to put some pants on this guy to make it work. And you need to put some pants on yourself to work, otherwise you’ll probably get fired.

    Deicide
    2/5
    You know what card is a good answer to gods? Banishing light. But deicide answers banishing light! But Banishing Light also answers Banishing Light! But Banishing Light doesn’t answer deicide! But Deicide can’t answer pithing needle. But Pithing Needle can’t answer Athreos. Therefore Athreos is the best target for deicide. I’m on a horse.

    Dictate of Heliod
    3.5/5
    This card is pretty sweet, and something I think white aggro decks have been wanting. There are two 3 mana anthems right now, but they’re both legendary. Also, Flash is an amazing ability to have on an anthem. Don’t let the name of this card trick you into playing heliod though.

    Eagle of the Watch
    0/5
    I love low toughness creatures with vigilance, they can trade down on offence and defense!

    Eidolon of Rhetoric
    3/5
    This ability is generally good enough to pop up from time to time, and this is a poddable version that survives lightning bolt and helix. You know what else pops up from time to time?

    Font of Vigor
    You know a good way to gain a lot of life for 2 mana plus three mana? Cast two removal spells. The time you waste on this piece of garbage is time your opponent will spend punching you in the giblets.

    Godsend
    1.5/5
    1WW+3 is one more mana than it costs to just cast dictate of heliod and pump all your guys. I guess if you are cheating this into play with Stoneforge Mystic it is…much worse than your other options. Still, we don’t have a lot of amazing equipment right now so if you are in the market for a Vulshok Battlegear for your standard deck this is what you’re stuck with.

    Harvestguard Alseids
    0/5
    Creatures, like hookers, are evaluated on rate and performance. This one costs way too much and will poop on your chest no matter what you asked for.

    Lagonna-Band Trailblazer
    1.5/5
    This is close, but it definitely belongs in sideboards, not maindecks.

    Launch the Fleet
    3/5
    This card is a great way to make a bunch of tokens. And then once you have the tokens, you can sacrifice them, since I heard you’re into that. One interesting thing about this card is the way it interacts with Brimaz. I don’t know how that works, but I’m sure it’s interesting.

    Leonin Iconoclast
    1/5
    I didn’t even know this card was in the set until my opponent at the prerelease played it against my deck with 10 enchantment creatures in it. It was as good in that match as it will be bad in constructed. So I hope that guy plays it in constructed.

    Mortal Obstinacy
    2/5
    Do you want to maindeck demystify in your heroic deck, but you’re worried it will be dead sometimes? Here, have this thing.

    Nyx-Fleece Ram
    4/5
    This card is excellent. It’s great for sideboards, but if you’re playing an underworld coinsmith deck it may be maindeckable. Also, here’s some magical card trivia: This card had to receive alternate art in New Zealand, Australia, and Wales because the image was considered “Too pornographic.” In those countries, the black man and sheep cuddling each other have been replaced by a picture of margaret thatcher in a bikini giving a double thumbs up.

    Oppressive Rays
    2/5
    Most of the time you will want pacifism instead, but if you are super aggressive (or some weird 18 land standard combo deck) this may be the call. Also, I’m glad that this card exists so I can image post it whenever forums poster blister is being mean to somebody.

    Oreskos Swiftclaw
    1/5
    This card is exactly the same as Daring Skyjek, except for the part where daring skyjek is playable in constructed and this card makes a great coaster.

    Phalanx Formation
    0/5
    Double Strike for one turn is almost never worth a card and almost never worth three mana. Having to pay both in exchange for strive doesn’t make it any better.

    Quarry Colossus
    1/5
    I like this ability but I don’t like paying 7 mana for it. This cycle of guys should have cost 10 or so and had affinity for the land they count.

    Reprisal
    2.5/5
    This is a great way to deal with creatures that are getting too big for their britches. Speaking of things that are getting too big for their britches…never mind, your mother will explain it to you.

    Sightless Brawler
    1.5/5
    I think this guy is…okay. fine. Barely playable. Almost good. Pick your term. One of the big draws of bestow guys is they can attack the turn after a wrath. This guy is not great at that.

    Skybind
    1.5/5
    This card is really nifty, but putting an enchantment into play on your opponent’s turn is much harder than cycling a card on their turn, and 5 mana is a big initial investment. If you are playing this to abuse your own ETB triggers, you probably want Agoraphobia since it both keeps you alive and gives you more triggers.

    Skyspear Cavalry
    0/5
    What is the deal with white and double strike in this set? Red gets the absurd Ophidian dude and white gets…this thing? Not impressed.

    Stonewise Fortifier
    1/5
    This is a 2/2 for 2 with a beneficial ability, so it’s not out of the question, but the ability is really weak so you probably can do better. Compare this to something like precinct captain and you see what an actual good 2 drop looks like now.

    Supply-Line Cranes
    0/5
    Look, I think what we all wanted to know from the moment we saw these things is, do they deliver babies?

    Tethmos High Priest
    3/5
    This is a pretty neat little engine. Because of strive, you often want to have multiple heroic guys in play at once to get full value, and this guy can get you in that position just by interacting with the cards you were playing anyway.

    Blue

    Aerial Formation
    1/5
    I think this has a shot, but it’s a long shot instead of a headshot. You need the one mana version and the four mana version to both do work, which means you want to be a blue based aggro deck that’s low on natural fliers and had guys big enough to threaten lethal alone or in pairs. Nivmagus Elemental comes to mind, maybe.

    Battlefield Thaumaturge
    3.5/5
    Here is a guy who can do some work. The job he does may not be the job you’re hiring for, because the cards that go nuts with this ability ae pretty odd. Again, this guy tends more towards the aggressive end of the spectrum. I would like him a lot in control if his heroic trigger was shroud, because then you could save him with doom blades.

    Cloaked Siren
    0/5
    “That is not the name of a card playable in a deck.”
    – Callaphe the Mariner

    Countermand
    1.5/5
    4 mana counterspells are playable with enough upside, and were even when the baseline for a hard counter was UU. Is this enough upside? I really doubt it, but we’ll see. Tome scour is no “draw a card” or “untap four lands” that’s for sure.

    Crystalline Nautilus
    2/5
    I actually like this guy, but I would like him more in a different format where people weren’t playing pump spells so much. You need the bestow ability to be a removal spell to get full value here, so you’re going to be looking to pair this with something like Chandra, Pyromaster or a blood rush guy (ha, bet you didn’t expect me to Pyrewild Shaman your guy then swing in and recur it, smartypants opponent). 4/4 is a nice body to have left behind if they can’t target it for free, as well.

    Dakra Mystic
    4/5
    Do you like having information? Do you like drawing cards? Do you like Merfolk of the Pearl Trident? There is now a single card that gives you all these, and more! This gal is going to make some waves (which can then be mastered) in standard and it would blow me away to see her show up in other places. Also, coming soon to a wizard fashion article near you.

    Daring Thief
    3/5
    I really like this one as well. If you are playing the nautilus deck this is another repeatable targeter.

    Dictate of Kruphix
    3.5/5
    Everyone pretty much knows how howling mines work by now, right? You can’t really just play them for value because they backfire too often, but if you’re doing something gross they can help a lot. Another thing that can help a lot if you’re doing something gross? Latex bedsheets.

    Font of Fortunes
    2/5
    Unless you are doing stupid enchantment tricks, you are probably going to just want divination almost all of the time. Note that the blue constellation cards are both awful.

    Godhunter Octopus
    0/5
    Big words for someone who only starts with two loyalty who’s threatening someone who makes creatures unblockable.

    Hour of Need
    3/5
    This is a pretty reasonable rate for turning little (and really big guys on the other side) guys into Air Elementals. For the maximum blowout, cast this in response to Silence the Believers. Note that if you have a Dakra Mystic and your opponent has a Desecration Demon, for 5 mana you’re suddenly dead even on guys, which is pretty nice.

    Hubris
    1/5
    It takes a weird metagame for this to be better than Voyage’s End but post rotation there’s gonna be a lot of bestow and heroic relative to other mechanics so this could end up being a player. In which case, it can return a creature to it’s own hand.

    Hypnotic Siren
    4.5/5
    This seems to be consensus playable in monoblue devotion, which means it’s pretty much a lock to see play, if not now than when Judge’s Familar and Cloudfin Raptor both take the long walk into eternal formats.

    Interpret the Signs
    1.5/5
    I interpreted them, apparently they mean “planet mostly covered in water, do not land here if you are allergic to it.” Also they said “play opportunity, moron.”

    Kiora’s Dismissal
    1.5/5
    “Tentacles or gtfo.“

    Pin to the Earth
    .5/5
    “and loses flying.” Right? Come on wizards, frickin’ amateur hour up in here.

    Polymorphous Rush
    2/5
    I keep reading this card and I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to put emrakul into play with it. The thing it does is an interesting thing but it’s no polymorph.

    Pull from the Deep
    3.5/5
    I really really like this. Are you interested in recurring a Supreme Verdict and a Sphinx’s Revelation? How about a Rakdos’s Return and a Hero’s Downfall?

    Riptide Chimera
    1.5/5
    Remember how many people were excited about Fettergeist? Remember how many people actually played Fettergeist? Do you remember Larry? I’ll never forget about Larry.

    Rise of Eagles
    0/5
    I heard some people talking just the other day, and they said they were gonna put this card on a shelf. That’s a fine place for it, if you don’t want to put it in a trash can.

    Sage of Hours
    3/5
    This is one of those cards I like more in eternal formats. If you can cast five spells a turn, Forgotten Ancient gets you infinite. IF you can cast five spells a turn repeatedly, you probably don’t need to have a forgotten ancient (or a sage of hours) in play to win, though.

    Scourge of Fleets
    1.5/5
    This card, guys. Momir Basic. How many islands do you have? Is it a vanilla 6/6? Is it a plague wind? Should have played around it! This guy has a shot in standard, especially if there is a stupid tokens deck that monoblue can’t beat but takes forever to beat monoblue.

    Sigiled Starfish
    1/5
    Is anyone playing Omenspeaker? This is only good if things are getting long, which is the same reason your mom can’t get enough of me.

    Thassa’s Devourer
    2/6 (just kidding, that’s it’s power and toughness, it’s actually a 0/5 rating)
    If you manage to cast all four of these, you will have milled 20 cards. You’re not even halfway done. Come on thassa, at least Kiora’s stupid worthless monster is beefy. You’re making the gods look bad.

    Thassa’s Ire
    3.5/5
    I like this. It’s cheap up front for expensive repeatable removal that does inspired tricks. This beats aetherling and most other fatties, gets you added value out of Underworld Connections.

    Triton Cavalry
    2/5
    I don’t really understand this card. Or rather, I understand it, I just can’t fit it into the metagame. 2/4 is a little small (we have some 3/4’s for 4 doing nothing right now) and 4 mana is a bit much for the current heroic decks. You can pair it with Agoraphobia to bounce your opponent’s enchantments over and over again but at 5 mana a shot they need to have something pretty impressive for it to be worth it.

    Triton Shorestalker
    5/5
    Dude, she’s not interested in you, and the phone calls need to stop. Just accept it and go back to your merfolk tribal eternal decks.

    War-Wing Siren
    1/5
    This is almost there but unless the metagame bends around magma spray this doesn’t seem quite like where you want to be.

    Whitewater Naiads
    0/5
    Yeah, this agoraphobia deck is gonna be sick! I mean suck, it’s gonna suck.

    Black

    Agent of Erebos
    2.5/5
    This seems good. It’s a sideboard-only card for the most part, but it’s good there. If this were a regular dude with a one shot trigger instead of a constellation guy I wouldn’t like it nearly as much, but this guy actually is a lot closer to rest in peace than tormod’s crypt because if they don’t deal with him their stuff is going to keep getting exiled. If you are playing my G/B constellation deck, be aware that this guy exists both when you are building your sideboard and when you are playing against someone with swamps.

    Aspect of Gorgon
    .5/5
    This is not completely unplayable but you probably just want gorgon’s head most of the times you would consider this.

    Bloodcrazed Hoplite
    2/5
    “Gods damn it, this was a brand new cuirass!” This guy is neat. I would rather they just made a heroic spike cannibal at uncommon, but this guy is at least a 2/1 for 2 that grows. I’ll be honest, I keep hearing about a UB heroic deck but I don’t know anything about it so I don’t know if you want this guy or not.

    Brain Maggot
    5/5
    They couldn’t just call it “Ear Worm?” I know I’m going to be humming this guys tune repeatedly for the duration of his stay in standard.

    cast into darkness
    0/5
    The only time anything similar to this saw play, it was a one mana version that actually killed mana dorks and you were playing it because thragtusk warped the entire format and resisted traditional removal. Last I checked, thragtusk is long gone so I don’t think this is going to be doing much work.

    Cruel Feeding
    1/5
    This art is horrifying. Look at it. What the hell is going on? Were those things people before this spell got cast?

    Dictate of Erebos
    4/5
    Somebody must have made a grave pact with the devil to get this card printed. They’ll have to sacrifice a goat now…but so will each of their opponents.

    Doomwake Giant
    3/5
    Ha! We finally have a good answer to lingering souls AND falkenrath aristocrat!

    Dreadbringer Lampads
    0/5
    When I opened these guys at the prerelease I misread their name as “Deadfinger Lamphands.” Which is obviously way way better. Hire me as creative director, wizards.

    Extinguish All Hope
    3.5/5
    So, this card has a lot going on. If it’s a 6 mana damnation, it’s pretty bad. If it’s a 6 mana damnation that misses one of their guys, it’s awful. If it’s a 6 mana plague wind, that’s pretty sweet. Also sometimes it just does nothing. So, in order to maximize this, you’re going to want to pretty much only run enchantment guys, and you want your opponents to not have enchantment guys. One of those things you can control, and one of them is just getting lucky with pairings. Right now I think this is definitely good enough, but if the metagame ever starts having decks with lots of enchantmans then you will have to cut this.

    Feast of Dreams
    2.5
    And when you cut extinguish all hope because enchantmans are everywhere, this little guy will be waiting!

    Felhide Petrifier
    2/5
    This is a minotaur, which means it is required by law to be 2/3. As a 2/3, this isn’t bad, because it can trade for big guys, and it makes all your other 2/3’s trade with bigger guys too.

    font of return
    1.5/5
    6 mana for three cards is not great, but when you know they’ll all be spells that effect the board it’s little easier to get a good return on your investment. I think this is potentially playable but not a lock. Also, I think a lot of players will want a returning font once they get a good look at some m15 cards.

    Gnarled Scarhide
    3.5/5
    This is a good little duder. Unlike the two mana can’t block enchantment, this one also has two other modes that both apply pressure. Black has a bunch of great one drops now, but one of them rotates so even if this guy isn’t great now he may show up later.

    Grim Guardian
    2/5
    I like this guy. If you are playing a dedicated constellation deck, this guy should be good for about two points of evasive damage per turn, and he does well on blocking duty.

    King Macar, the Gold-Cursed
    2/5 (playability)
    0/5 (flavor)
    This guy teams up well with Rogue’s Passage and various other stuff that makes him hard to block. For casual you can put Pemmin’s Aura on him and play opposition and then you are just being ridiculous which is the best way to play casual.

    Master of the Feast
    4/5
    This guy is good but his drawback is real. You need to have a plan to get around it. Generally the best plan will be “kill them real quick” but you may also just want to give this guy hexproof or something so even if they draw removal it won’t save them.

    Nightmarish End
    1.5/5
    The two mana version of this isn’t seeing much play, but UB isn’t seeing any play either so that may be why. If Silence the Believers didn’t exist I would be kind of interested in this as an alternative to Gild for killing incarnated gods, but silence is so absurd that I think this is not going to show up anywhere.

    Nyx Infusion
    0/5
    This really needed to cost less and have a bigger impact, kind of like a missile made of fabrege eggs.

    Pharika’s Chosen
    1/5
    This would be a 2/5 if Baleful Eidolon weren’t offering a cheap 1/1 deathtouch with an upside.

    Returned Reveler
    1/5
    Three cards is just not a lot of milling for something that takes work to trigger. Also, a satyr that comes back from the dead to party but he’s so bad at partying he makes everyone sad is a good plot for a Rob Schneider movie.

    Ritual of the Returned
    1/5
    So, here we are, back at the “how much would you pay for a giant vanilla creature” game. And I gotta say, I don’t like the numbers here, because this adds a lot of layers of extra effort onto the game. Instead of “Pay 4, have 6/6” you have to put a 6/6 into your graveyard first. Four mana for a giant black creature is playable (desecration demon) and being instant speed helps, but this is just so much work.

    Rotted Hulk
    0/5
    If you are in the market for a 2/5 vanilla creature for 4 then…shop at a different market. This one’s full of decaying seamen.


    Silence the Believers
    4/5
    Shut up! No you shut up! For seven mana, they both shut up. This just kills almost everything. Gods, regenerators, indestructible guys, bestows. I would keep some Hero’s Downfalls for planeswalkers, but this card is just sweet.


    Spiteful Blow
    .5/5
    I can’t really see this seeing play. And I also can’t unsee this as an ass in a thong thanks to that photoshop one of you guys posted with the crackgate guy.


    Squelching Leeches
    2.5/5
    This guy can be really beefy, but in exchange you don’t get to play temples of Mutavaults. Worth it? Not right now, but we’ll see how desperate we are for a beefy four drop when Demon rotates.


    Thoughtrender Lamia
    1/5
    This is a really big Ravenous Rats! There’s a slim chance somebody wants a really big Ravenous Rats but I don’t think that’s me.


    Tormented Thoughts
    2/5
    So, Mind Rot is fringe playable. I think for this to be better than mind rot, you either need to get the creature for free (and have it be large enough to hit 2+ cards) or you need to be getting an EV of four or more cards off of this. I think you can make that happen, but it may not be worth the effort.


    Worst Fears
    3.5/5
    Buy these now, guys. A dollar is a great price for a Mindslaver effect.

    Red

    Akroan Line Breaker
    1.5/5
    “tee-hee, I totally stole these axes and nobody is noticing.”
    I think this guy is one mana too expensive.


    Bearer of the Heavens
    2.5/5
    This guy would be unplayable in a lot of formats, but in this one there are a couple neat tricks you can do. One is rescue from the underworld. Another is to just have a god or two left over after the heavens fall, since he won’t kill them with his trigger. Keranos, God of Storms is probably the best guy for this since he lets you recover quickly and also provides a clock and good defense against one drop creatures. You can also have a lotleth troll, which lets you discard this guy if he is dead early or if you are on the reanimator plan. A couple things that don’t work: Planeswalkers are not immune to the destruction, and neither are enchantments. Bestowed creatures will also get nuked instead of turning into guys. I don’t necessarily expect this guy to see play but if my opponent gets on into play I won’t be too surprised.


    Bladetusk Boar
    0/5
    I’ve seen this card reprinted so many times I’m bladetusk bored.


    Blinding Flare
    2/5
    Should also give protection from gorgons. This is a neat way to trigger heroic guys and/or get damage through. I happen to have been given a list that want’s both of this things, so I expect this to see play in one of my decks, if nowhere else.


    Cyclops of Eternal Fury
    .5/5
    If you are upset your seven drops don’t have haste, have I got a card for you. for you to not play with. You should probably also not play with all those seven drops. Here, let me tell you about Hammer of Purphuros.


    Dictate of the Twin Gods
    3/5
    So, apparently Iroas and Mogis are twins. So like, their mom banged a half horse, half bull, and had twins, and one of them got the bottom half of their dad, and one of them got the top half of their dad. You know what? That’s basically actually how Greek mythology worked, kudos flavor team. In standard I think this card is reasonable, just be careful not to take 20 damage in one turn from an Aetherling and a Mutavault because you flashed this in against U/W thinking “They don’t really play any creatures, so…”


    Eidolon of the Great Revel
    3.5/5
    I can’t be the only person in the world who wants to put unflinching courage on this guy, right?


    Flamespeaker’s Will
    2/5
    This is close but niche. I will keep it in my mind but probably not in my decks.


    Flurry of Horns
    FURRY OF PORNS
    That’s why there’s two of them, right? And why they’re in a hurry? And perfectly sized to bounce off of each other now matter how rough they get? You’re welcome.


    font of ire
    1/5
    I’m not really interested in this effect unless the rate is insane or it can hit creatures. “But it can hit a player for 5 at instant speed! For four mana!” Yawn.


    Forgeborn Oreads
    3/5
    Red is not traditionally a color that plays enchantment theme decks but this card is pretty sweet. The body is good at applying pressure and the ability is good at preventing chump blocks, so they’re going to have to trade something okay or get punched for 4. The interaction between this and Hammer of Purphuros looks pretty stupid on paper, as well.


    Gluttonous Cyclops
    0/5
    It is a good thing they printed Eye Gouge, otherwise this guy would have just completely destroyed every constructed format. As well as every all you can eat buffet.


    Harness by Force
    4/5
    In pretty much every format where a red aggressive deck sees play, it wants to sideboard the best threaten. Red aggressive decks are reasonable, and this is ridiculous. This is potentially good enough for modern in that monored skred koth deck.


    Knowledge and Power
    2/5
    5 is a bunch of mana for this effect but the scrying enablers in standard are pretty great. Not only can you play a bunch of lands that scry, you also get modern playable card magma jet as well as fated conflagration and various goodies from other colors. Unfortunately, standard seems to be full of guys that either kill you before you get to untap with a 5 mana enchantment, or happily ignore 2 damage, so those free temple scrys are unlikely to kill anything relevant.


    Lightning Diadem
    0/5
    I am super interested in this card if they ever print it at the correct cost of 2RR.


    Magma Spray
    4.5/5
    Good old rock. Nothing beats rock. Especially when it’s superheated at the core of the Earth and held until the perfect moment to sneak up behind a Voice of Resurgence and pour it down its pants.


    Mogis’s Warhound
    2.5/5
    This dog will sit on any creature, but it won’t stay.


    Pensive Minotaur
    0/5
    Geez Elspeth, Can’t a guy take a post-battle crap in peace?


    Prophetic Flamespeaker
    4.5/5
    This seems to me like the kind of card where people will be kind of indecisive about it and then they cast it one time and look at their hand and just cackle maniacally. (this happens to me ALL THE TIME.)


    Riddle of Lightning
    2/5
    I would want to be getting an EV of about four from this to want it, which is actually pretty difficult without really running expensive cards to ‘combo’ with.


    Rollick of Abandon
    1/5
    I am pretty ready to abandon this card.


    Rouse the Mob
    2/5
    I wish they had also printed a card called “Douse the Mob” that did the opposite of this.


    Satyr Hoplite
    2/5
    If you’ve been holding out for a red hero that grows, then this guy is that guy.


    Sigiled Skink
    2/5
    LOOK DAD, THAT SNOWCONE TURNED MY TONGUE BLUE AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHH


    Spawn of Thaxes
    1/5
    Look, guys. We had 15 Gods, 11 other legendary creatures, and 5 planeswalkers in this block. Maybe you could have named the giant dragon after one of them? “Spawn of Purphuros.” There. How hard was that?


    Spite of Mogis
    3/5
    It is not very hard to hit three damage with this, which is where I want to be. It is a little iffy if you can kill a pack rat on turn two, though. Also, why doesn’t mogis want to punch players? Come on flavor team, you did alright this set but there’s some issues.


    Starfall
    1/5
    Since the damage on this five mana card is limited to three, I rate this card as a 3. In limited.


    Twinflame
    2/5
    Somebody should start a website with a clock on it that lets us know when this card turns 18


    Wildfire Cerberus
    0/5
    Holmes set his pipe down gently and turned to face me. “You see, Watson, the hound didn’t glow because it was a ghost. It glowed, quite simply, because it had magical monster fire pouring from every orifice. There is a rational explanation for everything.”


    Green

    Bassara Tower Archer
    2.5/5
    I hate hexproof so much. If hexproof gets to be a thing forever then I want Force of Will and Chainer’s Edict in every core set so I can try to deal with it. We can’t have stone rain, because then players don’t get to play their thorn elementals, but it’s fine if I don’t get to cast Dreadbore and Putrefy because why, exactly?


    Colossal Heroics
    1.5/5
    Still mad about hexproof.


    Consign to Dust
    2/5
    This card is actually pretty sweet. It’s a little pricy though, compared to something like wear//tear or stomp and howl. If it were easier on the mana I would be a fan, as is this might see play if your deck is color limited due to wanting devotion or playing commander or whatever.


    Desecration Plague
    0/5
    If it said “and” instead of “or” I miiiiiiight be interested. As it is, do you really care so much about killing enchantmans that you will give up the planeswalker and artifact functions on your Bramblecrush? I hope when all these enchantmans are gone we get acidic slime back.


    Dictate of Karametra
    2/5
    If you want to do the Enter the Infinite/Borborygmos Enraged thing in standard you have what, 5 months to try and make it work? But you probably only have two or three weeks to win a daily and get your name attached to the list before travis woo streams the deck and goes 0-6.


    Eidolon of Blossoms
    3.5/5
    Enchantmantrips. Enchantmanstress. Draw Enchantmengine. Pretty much not matter how they deal with this thing you end up ahead. And if they don’t deal with it, you also end up ahead. And if you are Max Headroom, you’re a head then as well!


    Font of Fertility
    3/5
    The original art for this card had a naiad and a satyr but that one ended up taped to the wall in the RnD men’s room.
    Golden Hind
    2.5/5
    Apparently Leaf Gilder is playable now? I guess the trick was to give it a completely irrelevant creature type. And not print Peppersmoke.


    Goldenhide Ox
    0/5
    Remember that scene from goldfinger where the lady was covered in gold paint and then died from being covered in gold paint? This is exactly like that, except with an ox, and it didn’t die, and presumably james bond didn’t have sex with it but of those three the last one is the one I wouldn’t put any money on.


    Hero’s Bane
    1/5
    If an infinite life gain deck shows up in standard this guy plus Kalonian Hydra are you go to dudes for doing an arbitrarily large amount of damage before the clock runs out.


    Humbler of Mortals
    0/5
    “Constellation – Whenever humbler of mortals or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, target non-god creature loses all abilities and becomes 1/1 until end of turn.”


    Come on wizards, you printed Snakeform, we all know green gets to do this now.


    Hydra Broodmaster
    2/5
    This is potentially the best thing you can do with all the mana you saved up with Kruphix, God of Horizons in block constructed, which means it may also be a thing in post rotation standard. This is also probably fine as just an Armada Wurm variant if you are in the market for one of those.


    Kruphix’s Insight
    2/5
    I think if you are willing to restrict your decklist enough you can make this be slightly better than divination, and divination is about an inch over the right side of the standard playable line so if you want to play this card you should be able to without feeling bad about it.


    Market Festival
    0/5
    There is way better ramp available in this block.


    Nature’s Panoply
    0/5
    You get a +1/+1 counter! And you get a +1/+1 counter! And…


    Nessian Game Warden
    4/5
    I was really worried that I would get all the way through the set before I found a creature whose power rating was the same as it’s power and toughness but we finally got there! Usually they put this kind of effect on like a 1/1 for 3 or a 2/2 for 4 but they finally gave us one that can attack and block respectably. You do need to be rocking some forests to make this work, but I don’t think that will be enough to leash this beast.


    Oakheart Dryads
    1/5
    If this were a +1/+1 counter instead of a temporary boost this guy would be okay, as it is I think it’s pretty bad unless you can generate a huge number of triggers in one turn.


    Pheres-Band Thunderhoof
    0/5
    THUNDER
    THUNDER
    THUNDER
    THUNDER
    HOOF
    THUNDER
    HOOF
    *metal guitar solo*
    *gratuitous nudity*


    Pheres-Band Warchief
    2/5
    Guys I don’t think this is a thing? This isn’t a thing, right? Centaurs? Not a thing. Calling it.


    Ravenous Luecrocota
    0/5
    I checked the internet and it’s spelled “leucrocotta” and also it’s from ethiopian mythology not greek mythology. Therefore I award this card no stars and may the gods have mercy on your soul.


    Renowned Weaver
    1.5/5
    I would expect a renowned weaver to have a cooler outfit. Come on art team, step up your game, the flavor guys did a great job on the rest of the card.


    Reviving Melody
    2/5
    Hmm, I think this goes in most of the same decks as kruphix’s insight and there’s no way you want playsets of both. Depending on how much yard hate is floating around either could be the correct call, or a split.


    Satyr Grovedancer
    .5/5
    This should have been a spell that made a token and put a +1/+1 counter on target creature. It wouldn’t be able to make a 2/2 on an empty board but it would trigger heroic and that would make it more interesting.


    Setessan Tactics
    3.5/5
    Nooo, Predator Ooze, come back, I’m sorry we said all those mean things about how when you go to the movies you get popcorn and skittles stuck all over you.


    Solidarity of Heroes
    ?/5
    What is this I don’t even


    Spirespine
    0/5
    Remember this if you get confused


    Stalactites stick “tite” to the ceiling


    Stalagmites “mite” get to the ceiling


    Spirespines a”spire” to not be thrown in the garbage


    Strength from the Fallen
    3/5
    It should be trivial to get like +15/+15 out of one of these things in the right deck, but if they kill your graveyard this card does brick nothing


    Swarmborn Giant
    1/5
    So, we start the green review by complaining about hexproof, and end it with a card that should have definitely had it. You can never maindeck this card and it’s questionable out of the sideboard. 6/6 for 2GG isn’t even really that absurd, for 2GG you can get a 5/5 with no drawback except legendary and a way better monstrous ability.


    Multicolored

    Ajani, Mentor of Heroes
    3/5
    From now on when I read flavor text quoting Ajani it’s gonna be in Danny DeVito’s voice.


    Athreos, God of Passage
    2/5
    I don’t like this guy nearly as much as some people do. Scavenging Ooze is still a card, guys. You can yell about sticking it to the U/W control players all you want but you should remember that most lists are playing over a dozen answers to enchantments MAINDECK so how often are they actually going to just lose to your God? Not often.

    Desperate Stand
    0/5
    Theros block has, according to gatherer, exactly one Knight, and it’s heroic. I’m going to give full credit to the dev team for slipping this pun into the block. Good job guys. Keep up the good work.


    Disciple of Deceit
    3/5
    Now reprint Opposition


    Fleetfeather Cockatrice
    2.5/5
    I heard that this card was going to replace fleetfeather magic workstation but I don’t know if it actually has yet


    Iroas, God of Victory
    2/5
    I don’t think any of the R/W decks that exist right now actually want this card.


    Keranos, God of Storms
    3.5/5
    Keranos is definitely the god of storms, since he really struggles to kill an opponent if they start the game with Leyline of Sanctity


    Kruphix, God of Horizons
    2/5
    I think the rewards are there for this guy, but the cost of playing a 5 drop that doesn’t really do anything the turn you cast it is very real. You need to have your shields up before you can start going nuts.
    Nyx Weaver
    2.5/5
    It’s a shame this exiles itself, we could have gotten really cute with it and some of the other goodies in this set. As is I think it’s still decent and it’s value obviously goes up if you care about it being an enchantman.


    Pharika, God of Affliction
    3/5
    Pharika is good buddies with Doomwake Giant. Exile all the guys from their yard, then exile one guy from your yard to bomb all their snakes. Repeat as necessary. If your opponent isn’t abusing the graveyard, Pharika just gums up the board on your side, shutting down your opponents ground forces while you draw into enough mana symbols to turn her into a creature.


    Revel of the Fallen God
    1.5/5
    I think you need to be playing some kind of mass pump spell like dictate of heliod or something for this to be worth it, as 7 mana for an 8/8 haste that gets eaten in pieces by Nightveil Specters and Master of Waves is just not enough value straight up.


    Stormchaser Chimera
    1/5
    I got a memo saying that this was the chase card from the new set but I’m not convinced


    Underworld Coinsmith
    4/5
    This guy seems nuts. Like, just completely ignore the constellation ability for a second. This is a 2/2 for 2 that has 2, pay one life: target opponent loses 1 life. That’s pretty sweet. Now add the constellation back in. Even better! If there is a W/B aggro deck I think this guy belongs in it regardless of how many other enchantments are in the list, which is not something that’s true of most constellation cards.


    Colorless

    Armory of Iroas
    0/5
    I don’t think we’re desperate enough for creature pump to play Banshee’s Blade.


    Chariot of Victory
    2/5
    It’s weird, doc. Every time I play cards with victory in the name, I lose the game. What are the odds?


    Deserter’s Quarters
    0/5
    The hotel room is inside a metal statue of a bull? And it costs HOW MUCH mana for one turn’s stay? Forget it, I’ll just stay in Thass’as giant clam. Stop snickering, mister.


    Gold-Forged Sentinel
    0/5
    Another flavor fail, you can cast this without sacrificing a single gold token.


    Hall of Triumph
    2/5
    This is a great card…FOR ME TO POOP ON


    Mana Confluence
    4/5
    So like, when the gods came to Theros, was it just a big empty hole where a plane could be built except also there were these rivers? And the gods were like yeah, sweet, we get the rivers for free, guess rivers are taken care of!


    Temple of Epiphany
    3.5/5
    I’m sure if I wait long enough a joke about this card will suddenly come to me


    Temple of Malady
    3.5/5
    So, in ancient Theros there were three forms of drama. There was comedy, which was a drama in which one or more of the characters was depicted as doing something stupid or ridiculous. There was tragedy, which was a bit more serious in nature, and then there was malady, which is what happened to poets who wrote comedies about Pharika.

    That’s it! That’s all the cards! Every card from Journey Into Nyx. On the whole, I’m pretty excited about this set. There are lots of neat cards, both to build around and to just put into any deck and enjoy.




  • Zen and the Art of Shadowmoor Limited



    By now, many of you have realised that you are bad at shadowmoor limited. Your 3-2 prerelease record and first round draft losses have left you feeling empty, while the Swans of Bryn Argoll you sold for a dollar has left your wallet feeling the same way.

    But don’t lose hope! I too attended a shadowmoor prerelease, and my 4-1 record and second round draft loss have left me fully equipped to teach you the intricacies of shadowmoor draft and sealed. But not shadowmoor two headed giant. I could not find anyone willing to enter a 2hg with me, so that means you will have to go without my precious advice. Maybe next time you will be my friends. Assholes. :mad:

    Anyways, First I will review some of the ridiculous cards you may have missed.* I’ll also give a brief overview of why they’re ridiculous.

    White: White is the third strongest color in shadowmoor limited. In addition to solid creatures, it also has decent removal and combat tricks.

    Runed Halo: This is an enchantment that resides on your head like a hat. That by itself is pretty ridiculous, but it gets better from there. You can name Werebear with this card and 3-for-1 some crafty opponents by shutting down both Armadillo Cloak and Flame Fusillade.

    Reaper King: Reaper King is extremely strong in a white deck, giving them an 6/6 creature, far larger than white usually has access to.

    Blue: Blue is the third strongest color in shadowmoor limited. In addition to solid creatures, it also has decent removal and combat tricks.

    Savor the Moment: Savor the Moment is a subtly powerful card. At first glance, the card is just a variant on Kodama’s Reach, but there’s more to it. Crafty players will announce the card just loudly enough for the opponent to return their attention to the game, and then pass the turn. Then, when the opponent begins his turn, the crafty player can call over a judge to scold their opponent, effectively time walking them.

    Reaper King: Reaper King is extremely strong in a blue deck, giving them access to land destruction, something they do not usually have access to.

    Black: Black is the third strongest color in Morningtide. In addition to solid creatures, it also has decent removal and combat tricks.

    Plague of Vermin: Plague of Vermin may be the strongest card costing 6B you will ever cast. It allows you to relentlessly exchange your life for rats, which will relentlessly punish your opponent for not having a deck full of rats as relentless as yours. Unless their deck is full of Relentless Rats, in which case, Mirrorweave. Relentless Ownage.

    Reaper King: Reaper King is extremely powerful in a Black deck, giving you access to artifact removal, an area where black has traditionally struggled.

    Red: Red is the third strongest color in shadowmoor. In addition to solid creatures, it also has decent removal and combat tricks. And Burn Trail.

    Furystoke Giant: When I opened my first draft pack, I was shocked and awed to see Arc-Slogger and Flame Fusillade packed in their, furiously having red-hot sex**. In exchange for giving them the film from my camera, they let me have their ridiculous lovechild. His name, you may ask? Dr. G.G. Noob. Make sure you politely introduce him to all your friends.

    Reaper King: Reaper King is extremely powerful in a Red deck, giving you access to enchantment removal, in the rare event there are enchantments in play that have nothing to do with creatures.

    Green: Green is the third strongest color in shadowmoor. In addition to solid creatures, it also has decent removal and combat tricks. And can easily splash for Burn Trail.

    Prismatic Omen: In addition to being an excellent mana fixer in limited, this card has intriguing constructed applications. In conjunction with Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth Prismatic omen can make your swamps into plainsislandswampswampswampmountainforests. You’re gonna need some street savvy creatures to pull that off and live to tell about it, but if you can make it work, well…

    swampswampswamp. What else do I need to say?

    Reaper King: Reaper King is extremely powerful in a green deck, giving you access to a red, white, blue, and black artifact creature, something that green hasn’t had since ravnica block.

    In addition to this heads up on ridiculous cards, here are some strategy tips for draft:

    Avoid drafting the strongest or weakest colors. If you draft the strongest color, you are more likely to be cut off. If you draft the weakest color, you are more likely to be stupid. Try drafting the third strongest color, and hope for a reaper king.

    It is okay to shuffle packs, but do not shuffle packs together. Most judges won’t know the print runs for the new set yet, and they’ll be very cross with you if they have to fix your mess.

    If a pack has a rare and a foil rare, the foil rare may not be as valuable! Be careful not to make the mistake of first picking a foil Puca’s Mischief if the rare is a Sunken Ruins!







    *I’m sure you will think of cards that in your opinion should go here. But they shouldn’t. This is only for cards you missed. Obviously you didn’t miss them if you noticed their absence.

    ** The sex they were having was safe. Unlike your face, and your mom, and probably your moms face.

    (Discuss this item in the forum!)

  • “Sympathy for the Inneffable” Lyrics

    Sympathy for the Ineffable
    by
    Wall Creatures May Attack As Though They Did Not Have Defender

    Please allow me to introduce myself
    I’m a Thran with my own race
    I’ve been around for a long long year,
    Made a study of loss and hate
    I was around when Urza’s Guilt caused his moment of doubt and pain
    Made damn sure that Mishra bent his knee, and sealed his fate
    Pleased to meet you – hope you guess my name
    But what’s puzzling you is the commodity I crave
    Stuck around in Benalia when I saw it was a time for a change

    I sent Tsabo and my Negators, Gerrard’s kinsfolk died in vain
    I opened rifts, forced the planes to shift
    When the Invasion came to spread my dark gift
    Pleased to meet you – hope you guess my name – oh yeah
    Ah, what’s puzzling you is the commodity I crave – oh yeah

    I schemed and planned while your Metathran fought so valiantly
    In the war they craved
    I shouted out “What’s the cost of Phyrexian Tyranny?”

    When after all it was (U)(B)
    Let me please introduce myself
    I’m a Thran with my own race
    I saw the end of evincars
    Who bore completion scars but could not hold their reign
    Pleased to meet you hope you guess my name. Oh yeah
    But what’s puzzling you is the commodity I crave. Oh yeah
    Pleased to meet you – hope you guess my name
    But what’s puzzling you is the commodity I crave

    Just as every Plague is Engineered, and all the sleepers wake
    As life is death, just call me The Hidden One,
    ‘Cause I’m the seed of untold taint
    So if you meet me, bring back your dead,
    Give them fear or give them haste
    Give up your love, and then your flesh
    Or I’ll duress your hand away
    Pleased to meet you – hope you guess my name

    But what’s puzzling you is the commodity I crave