You wake up in an iron-barred cell. Sunlight streams through an opening in the ceiling and through the slits in the wall. The floor is so clean you could eat off of it. You hear a distant angelic choir singing in the distance. You hate choir music.
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If you are a nincompoop, imbecile or blockhead, your individual personality likely aligns with one of the five colors of Magic: The Gathering.
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This recently uncovered super-secret Facebook feed gives you insight into the crazy world of Magic Cards!
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Where do Wizards get their energy? Top researchers Teferi and Ertai delve into this mysterious plane of oranges, grapes, and disgusting metallic additives.
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HARRIS FAMILY DINING ROOM TABLE — In a bold, costly attempt to end instability and conflict brought on by the summoning spells of mighty wizards, Karrthus, Tyrant of Jund announced the nationalization of all dragons on Tuesday.
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I want to get rid of this jeweled amulet. I thought it was going to be the next hot thing, but I kept forgetting which color of magic I was using to charge it up, and I got embarrassing mana burns all over my house. Free if you can come pick it up.
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Dearest Mother, I hope this letter reaches you. I have paid the messenger the last of my cigarettes and several other things I dare not mention, in the hopes that my words might find your eyes. I fear my own may never gaze into them again.
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“I stepped up to the plate. I delivered. Instead of being awarded justly for my efforts, I awoke the morning after my coronation to find my family missing and a stack of playing cards sitting on my night stand next to what I assumed at the time was a ransom note.”
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