Emrakul has risen on Innistrad! Of course you’ll want to tell your fellow townsfolk, city elders and lab projects about this exciting news, but don’t get caught out. Before you start jabbering in eldritch terror, you need to make sure you know your I’amrakul from your Be’mrakul. Don’t sit there gibbering like a tooth collector with delirium – get a clue with this handy grammatical guide to the ineffable terror that awaits us all.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
The setting sun glinted redly off a shirtless Gideon Jura’s hairless chest. Red, too, was the glow in Chandra Nalaar’s eyes, though it seemed a little brighter than one would expect from a sunset alone, even on Zendikar, the magical plane with a special kind of mana where the newly-formed Gatewatch, a super-cool team of four planeswalkers, had just defeated the unimaginably fearsome Eldrazi.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
Leading duellists Blugar the Callous and Zhazha Firegloves face suspensions today, following their involvement in an unsanctioned ‘proxy spell’ tournament. This controversial duelling format permits mages to duel using ‘proxies’ of rare artifacts, and of old spells from the 90s that can’t easily be learnt any more.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
Tamiyo, Ace Reporter
An interview with everyone’s favorite sexy necromancer.
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Posted in mtg | Averine, Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
ASPHODEL — A planned demonstration against the recent increase in exploitation of zombies was branded “a shambles” this morning after only two demonstrators turned up to take part.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
One of the most enjoyable parts of my job is getting to announce something that Magic players have spent a long time clamoring for. Today is one such day!
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
Tarkir residents said today that while they appreciate Sarkhan Vol going back in time to retrieve a race of creatures that had been missing from their world, they aren’t certain that dragons were the best choice.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
“Man, I used to love living here,” says Borko.
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
by Greengrocer
“Puny weaklings, come and gape in awe at the latest triumph of your highest superior, Surrak Dragonclaw! I, Surrak, insulter of the Sultai, wearer of bears, present my greatest feat yet: I can already name no fewer than four of the new dragons. The gold ones!”
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Posted in mtg | Greengrocer
‘Alara Reborn’ Flavor Text Selections 
